Jacking Off. (And other sexual adventures.) -

Dipstikk · #61 07-12-2005, 11:48 PM

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This whole conversation makes me want to go have a shower, just for reading it.

Yea, I think we're done here to be honest. Unless anyone has anything else to add?

Ooh! Me!

*stands up on poduim*

Um... ahem. Is... is this thing on? *tap tap, screeeeech* Jerry, pull out the high end a little more, I'm still getting some feedback.

There, are we good? Okay.

Ahem.

Monkeys fling their poop!

Thank you.

*applause*

Leeum · #62 07-13-2005, 12:55 AM

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It doesn't stop me from doing it but it makes me feel guilty, fantasizing over people.

I know exactly what you mean, in my case I don't feel guilty I just think "well that was f***ing pointless wannit?"

:

Ouch, that seems wrong looking at it now...

Yup...

I'd be up for a UK meet, don't judge me by my lack of presence

Joshy · #63 07-13-2005, 01:32 AM

I dont jack off/masturbate. But i have no problems with people doing it.

Facsimile · #64 07-13-2005, 02:58 AM

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It's nothing to do with God, I'm an atheist.
Say you wank while having thoughts of someone you like, they don't like you and they don't know that you are doing it. That in my eyes in comes across as being vulgar and plain nasty. It doesn't stop me from doing it but it makes me feel guilty, fantasizing over people.

Yeah, I try not to think about people I know whilst doing it...

This thread is really ****ed up.

Statikk HDM · #65 07-13-2005, 06:02 AM

From experience, it is awkward to jack off about people you will see that very smae day or the next day.
Weirdest for me though, would have to be my Spanish teacher. She was called "Eloise" by the guys because any male who ssaw her would have to jack off to her at least once.

Rich · #66 07-13-2005, 06:38 AM

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Weirdest for me though, would have to be my Spanish teacher. She was called "Eloise" by the guys because any male who ssaw her would have to jack off to her at least once.

Ewww... Wanking over teachers? I think not, it'd be really awkward if you had to talk to them sometime on your own afterwards.

:

Oh you tease!

Heh, you asked for it!

AquaticAmbi · #67 07-13-2005, 08:45 AM

Rexy, I never told you how much I love you for posting in this thread and not leaving me to be the only girl in it.

I have a question for everyone who jacks off to people he/she(?) knows: What if you were in a relationship with someone, would you still wank to the thought of other people you know or only to the thought of your lover?

Rich · #68 07-13-2005, 09:22 AM

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I have a question for everyone who jacks off to people he/she(?) knows: What if you were in a relationship with someone, would you still wank to the thought of other people you know or only to the thought of your lover?

I would fill most of my thoughts with said person as I'd obviously like them a lot. But thoughts of other attractive people would probably slip in periodically. Which is probably rather sad.

See, I'm so honest and open. Love me.

Coolmanbizkit · #69 07-13-2005, 09:24 AM

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I would fill most of my thoughts with said person as I'd obviously like them a lot. But thoughts of other attractive people would probably slip in periodically. Which is probably rather sad.

See, I'm so honest and open. Love me.

Yeah... What he said.

Rex Tirano · #70 07-13-2005, 09:37 AM

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Rexy, I never told you how much I love you for posting in this thread and not leaving me to be the only girl in it.

Aww, all warm and fuzzy inside. ^_^ Thankyou for telling me you love me, I love you to! Group hug! *Is given a weird look* Oh... Right. Yeah I forgot this was a masturbating thread. ^_^;;

And Rich, everyone loves you too. *Passes him the sheet of gold stickers*

As for the question. I probably wouldn't masturbate if I were in a loving relationship. And if I did it would probably not be wholly about my loving boyfriend/spouse/whatever. It wouldn't because I wouldn't find them attractive or I don't love them, I just figure that it would be about smeone exciting and totally out-of-reach. E.g. celebs.

- Rexy

MojoMan220 · #71 07-13-2005, 12:56 PM

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She was called "Eloise" by the guys because any male who ssaw her would have to jack off to her at least once.

Nice Reservoir Dogs quote.

Rich · #72 07-13-2005, 02:01 PM

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As for the question. I probably wouldn't masturbate if I were in a loving relationship. And if I did it would probably not be wholly about my loving boyfriend/spouse/whatever. It wouldn't because I wouldn't find them attractive or I don't love them, I just figure that it would be about smeone exciting and totally out-of-reach. E.g. celebs.

Maybe if I was a girl I wouldn't. But you don't cream yourself if you don't masturbate often enough.

big bro boogie · #73 07-13-2005, 02:17 PM

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I would fill most of my thoughts with said person as I'd obviously like them a lot. But thoughts of other attractive people would probably slip in periodically. Which is probably rather sad.

Ok, so you're still Mentally me. (which means: "Same goes here.")
I've been in a relationship once or twice... But I didn't wank back then.

***Alcar*** · #74 07-13-2005, 03:46 PM

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I have a question for everyone who jacks off to people he/she(?) knows: What if you were in a relationship with someone, would you still wank to the thought of other people you know or only to the thought of your lover?

I'd still think of other people. As long as it's not unhealthy, and you aren't obsessing over these other people, and you do think of your partner, I can't see the harm. It certainly would keep the realtionship less dull

Alcar...

AquaticAmbi · #75 07-13-2005, 06:01 PM

But couldn't that possibly be seen as cheating on your lover mentally? That's how I feel about it at least. I mean, if you can't give up lustful thoughts of other people, can you really say you're dedicated wholly to the relationship?

But hey, whatever humps your camel.

Majic · #76 07-13-2005, 07:27 PM

Everybody does it? How DARE you infer that I look at/think of naked women and touch myself.

That was a lame attempt at sarcasm, btw. Talking about/admitting to masturbation is not a common topic for myself, but it's come up numerous times. Mainly when I'm telling the story of my twisted testicle. Sure, I may attempt to use the term "crossed my legs wrong" as a shifty attempt to divert attention from the truth, but I doubt a soul doesn't see through that. Hell, even I can't help but smile/start laughing.

So that's a fair warning, people (guys). If you're doing the deed with yourself, the twins inside your scrotum aren't safe. And no, it wasn't like the fast and the furious, either. A couple of girls asked me about that, and I replied it was more of an "andante." Because we need more musical tempo references to describe self gratification in the world.

Dino · #77 07-14-2005, 12:19 AM

This thread is starting to rub me the wrong way.

EDIT: don't be so disgusting.

You know exactly what I mean.

Joe the Intern · #78 07-14-2005, 12:25 AM

Settle down, pussy.

Dino · #79 07-14-2005, 12:35 AM

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Settle down, pussy.

I R TEH SMALL CRABZ0RZ. ^\i_i/^

Facsimile · #80 07-14-2005, 02:47 AM

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Everybody does it? How DARE you infer that I look at/think of naked women and touch myself.

That was a lame attempt at sarcasm, btw. Talking about/admitting to masturbation is not a common topic for myself, but it's come up numerous times. Mainly when I'm telling the story of my twisted testicle. Sure, I may attempt to use the term "crossed my legs wrong" as a shifty attempt to divert attention from the truth, but I doubt a soul doesn't see through that. Hell, even I can't help but smile/start laughing.

So that's a fair warning, people (guys). If you're doing the deed with yourself, the twins inside your scrotum aren't safe. And no, it wasn't like the fast and the furious, either. A couple of girls asked me about that, and I replied it was more of an "andante." Because we need more musical tempo references to describe self gratification in the world.

Oh I've heard about that whole twisted testicle deal. Did you get it before it got too bad and had to be removed? Because one of my mother's friend's son's (dog's uncle's) didn't get it early enough.

Rich · #81 07-14-2005, 02:50 AM

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Oh I've heard about that whole twisted testicle deal. Did you get it before it got too bad and had to be removed? Because one of my mother's friend's son's (dog's uncle's) didn't get it early enough.

My friends brother got it while playing badminton at school. He says he jumped wrong and collapsed to the floor when he landed. The doctors saved his. Apparently the doctor massaged his bollocks to untwist the tubes. It makes me cringe.

Majic · #82 07-14-2005, 12:26 PM

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Oh I've heard about that whole twisted testicle deal. Did you get it before it got too bad and had to be removed? Because one of my mother's friend's son's (dog's uncle's) didn't get it early enough.

I was a lucky duck, and it rests peacefully in my pants to this day. There's a chance it might be infertile (my other one is for sure), but providing a semen sample and having one of your parents drop it off at the doctors office... eh, didn't sound like a good deal.

Glad to know I'm not the only one to suffer, though. And Rich, I was too "tender" for the massaging method. The thought of that was so.... argh.

Dino · #83 07-14-2005, 12:33 PM

Can we have a conversation about something else? Like, something that I can read without damaging my appetite?

Coolmanbizkit · #84 07-14-2005, 12:34 PM

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Can we have a conversation about something else? Like, something that I can read without damaging my appetite?

Well this is a thread about Masturbation... But yeah, Change the subject to something other than twisted testicles!

Rich · #85 07-14-2005, 12:36 PM

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Can we have a conversation about something else? Like, something that I can read without damaging my appetite?

No.

So, do the positives of masturbation outweigh the negatives?

big bro boogie · #86 07-14-2005, 12:37 PM

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So, do the positives of masturbation outweigh the negatives?

It seems so, but yea. Depends on your relationship. That's a big deal, you know?

Dino · #87 07-14-2005, 12:41 PM

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No.

So, do the positives of masturbation outweigh the negatives?

No? Why not? Twisted testicals isn't exactly anything to do with masturbation is it?

I can stomach wanking... it's just the thought of balls all gnarled up... ugh. There goes supper. :\

Rich · #88 07-14-2005, 12:46 PM

Well, if he fucked up his bollocks while wanking, then I'd say it could possibly be related to the topic, wouldn't you?
It certainly relates to my 'do the positives outweigh the negatives?' question.

MojoMan220 · #89 07-14-2005, 12:48 PM

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This thread is starting to rub me the wrong way.

EDIT: don't be so disgusting.

You know exactly what I mean.

What did you expect to see when you clicked on a thread called "Don't lie. You jack off. "? Kittens perhaps?

Dino · #90 07-14-2005, 12:53 PM

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What did you expect to see when you clicked on a thread called "Don't lie. You jack off. "? Kittens perhaps?

Actually yeah I was... I was expecting to see Domo-Kun, a kitten prancing around a lawn, and a little footnote that read "Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten".

Instead I got the pope. The pope I tell you!

:

Well, if he fucked up his bollocks while wanking, then I'd say it could possibly be related to the topic, wouldn't you?
It certainly relates to my 'do the positives outweigh the negatives?' question.

He twisted his testical while wanking?!?

OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW.

Majic you kinky dirty little boy, what the HECK were you doing? Going for a world record?