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  #31  
12-14-2003, 01:12 PM
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Sorry Mr Adder

Chapter 6, Three days till Freedom…
“Picked a date yet?” Aaron asked the old mud through the bars of his cage.
“3 days. There’s a rota ya see. Each night the guards switch positions. 3 days from now you couldn’t do better to get into the generator room, the weaponry and then AC. Getting out’ll be hard though. They got some of there toughest all over the ground floor.”
“So how do I get out?”
“I’d say you should get down into the basement and up through the light windows. You have to reach the back courtyard though. Then use the grappling hook to get over the back wall.
“Isn’t their barbed wire?”
“There’s a gap about fifteen metres down from the West wall.”
“Should I get a torch then?”
“No way. They se any light out there and it’s bang. You’re Swiss cheese. You’ll just have to trust your instincts. Here, this is the route you take.”
Bill watched as the old mud took a piece of paper out of his loincloth and unfolded it.
Aaron snorted: “I don’t need a map, I know my way.”
“You know a way. Not the way that will take you past all the worst sligs in the shortest time in the best order.”
“Show-off!”
The old guy chuckled and started pointing things out on the map and whispering to quietly for Bill to hear. He tried to pick up the conversation but failed miserably (probably due to the dried blood that clogged up his ears (well the sligs had thought it hilarious!)) and soon found himself falling to sleep.

3 days…
Aaron was uncharacteristically jumpy that day. He eyed the sligs that passed him nervously. One particularly stupid oaf seemed to mistake the nervousness in his face for a shifty look and gave him 75 beats!
Bill meanwhile was caught in the toilets cleaning the blood out of his ears (he’d already bean beaten for failing to hear a sligs command) and had his head stuffed into a urinal while a b-b-slig relieved himself. The sligs seemed to be getting especially mean all of a sudden – making up for that beat-free week, Bill supposed.
In the afternoon after Aaron received another 50 whacks one particularly intelligent slig realised what was wrong with Aaron and took him to the medic office for an anti-adrenaline injection. Aaron seemed to calm down a little after that - at least for a few hours until his adrenaline levels refreshed themselves and he started leaping a foot into the air at the slightest chink of a bullet. One slig found his jumpiness so irritating that Aaron had a gun pressed against his head with a slig threatening to pull the trigger if Aaron didn’t stop leaping about!
Bill meanwhile spent the afternoon wondering if the smell of slig-pee would ever wear off. Even the sligs found it annoying and he received about 100 beats for “smelling like a toilet”.
Well, he thought, at least they have a decent reason!
Bill returned to the bunks that night and slept fitfully. He woke at about half eleven to see Aaron staring at a piece of paper on the floor of his cage, constantly running his fingers over it and muttering to himself, as if memorising something on the paper…


Sorry about the wait, been busy!
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  #32  
12-14-2003, 01:16 PM
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Oops, i was dumb and double posted. Please ignore the following message:

If you notice this notice
You'll notice this notice
Is not worth noticing
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Last edited by Splat; 12-15-2003 at 10:16 AM..
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  #33  
12-15-2003, 08:36 AM
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Uh, Splat? You Double posted.
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  #34  
12-15-2003, 06:11 PM
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Oh... oops... Just a sec, I'll try and sort it out (it might not work though so bare with me)

Well, I've done what i can, sorry peeps
Oh and Searge, what did you think of the chapter?
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Last edited by Splat; 12-15-2003 at 10:18 AM..
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  #35  
12-16-2003, 05:22 AM
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Ohhh, lemme tell ya Splat, the suspence is kil-
*Thump*
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  #36  
12-16-2003, 11:33 AM
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Very nice. Great plot too. I couldn't help laughing when I read this expression: "...had his head stuffed into a urinal while a b-b-slig relieved himself."
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  #37  
12-16-2003, 06:26 PM
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Gah! Call an ambulance! My biggest fan is dying!

Oh and Gabair, glad you like!

You might have to wait till after Christmas for a new chapter. But i get Thursday off so i might bring myself to write it next. We'll see shall we.
The suspence is killing me to and i know what's gonna happen! *thud*
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  #38  
12-17-2003, 06:50 AM
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*Gets up off the floor with a large bump on his head*
I'm awake, wadidI miss?
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  #39  
12-20-2003, 06:12 PM
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AFTER CHRISTMAS!
but...but...

*sigh*
Alright then...

I guess me and the other Terry Pratchett fan can wait.
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  #40  
12-21-2003, 03:33 PM
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Terry Pratchett? What does he have to do with my fic (no, seriousely, i don't know)

And yes, you will have to wait untill after Christmas, sorry peeps
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  #41  
12-22-2003, 01:56 AM
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Ah, well. We can wait four days.
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  #42  
02-02-2004, 05:19 AM
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Uh! Sorry for not posting lately... But i would rather wait until our old forums are being opened again. This new one i quite unfamiliar, and i don't like unfamiliar thing!!
Byt anyway... Thumbs up for you I really enjoy tour storys... And have you oticed that it's 2 months past christmas?? SO GET POSTING!!!
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  #43  
02-02-2004, 11:02 PM
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Yeah, Splat. I wanna know what they do!
Ah, no pressure.
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  #44  
02-03-2004, 07:17 AM
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Oh yeah, sorry guys! Bloomin writers block! I'll get it to you as soon as possible, i've written about to thirds of it but now i'm stuck.
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  #45  
02-03-2004, 07:45 AM
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Few, done.


Chapter 7, There may be trouble ahead…

2 days…
Bill was woken at about 4 AM by the noise of a quiet yelp. Then he heard the old mud say; “Calm down, you’re gonna need all that adrenaline of your escape.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Bill heard Aaron mutter, “You’re not the one about to risk his life.”
“Don’t worry about it, as long as you keep your head and remember the instructions you’ll get to the forest easily enough. I better take the map back now; the wake-up’s soon. Get some sleep. I’ll bring it back at about 11, tomorrow night.”
“OK,” Was all that Aaron said to this. It sounded like Aaron was just beginning to realise the risk of what he was about to do. The old mud took the piece of paper and Aaron curled up on his bunk to sleep. Bill did the same but didn’t manage to get to sleep again.
2 hours later (at 6 AM) the wake-up bell rang. Aaron no longer seemed jumpy but very nervous instead. He kept peering down every corridor and eyeing every slig as he went past; and he kept muttering to himself. Every so often he would freeze in his work and get a glazed look in his eyes. He would remain frozen till a slig noticed and knocked him to the floor with the spiky end of a gun.
Bill had a reasonably uneventful day, he got a few whacks for smelling like a toilet and a few more for walking under a blue light and making a slig think he was a terrorist. Bill didn’t understand why having blue skin made him look like a terrorist but he really didn’t have much say in the matter so he got beaten anyway.
In the afternoon things were pretty much the same. Aaron got beaten for “looking at his guard funny,” and Bill managed to sneak into the toilets and wash his feathers without being caught! He was so surprised that he went into a trance and bashed into a b-b-slig down the next corridor and was punished by being crushed between a wall and a door (the slig gave the door an extra shove because Bill smelt like a toilet).
Bill returned to his bunk after Aaron that night and saw him curled on his bunk, blood spreading slowly over his back. Bill curled up and went to sleep.
At 13 o’clock (not a misprint, there are 25 hours in an Oddworld day!) Bill woke up to see Aaron in his cage, pale as… something really pale! He was curled up on the floor next to his bunk asleep with that big piece of paper crumpled up between his stomach and legs.
“Oy, Aaron!” Bill hissed. Aaron didn’t wake or even stir. Bill grabbed a flattened bullet that he’d extracted from his leg a few months ago off the floor of his cell and threw it at Aaron. Aaron twitched. “Wake up kid.”
Aaron stretched out and woke up. He looked over at Bill. His face was gaunt and tired and there were enormous black bags under his eyes. “What is it?”
“You’re leavin tomorrow night aren’t ya? You gotta learn what’s on that map before then.”
“What’s the point? This is impossible.”
“What’s the point? The point is for freedom. The point is to show the glukkons what the mudokon race is made of. The point is for our species. I don’t know what you got in AC but I can tell enough to know that our species are goners without. Most of us here are goners anyway but we don’t all need that fait. You can save our people and you should. I know I don’t stand a chance but others do. They have a right to freedom. You shouldn’t deprive them of that.”
Aaron sat up, alert. “Ok, who are you and what have you done with Bill.”
Bill might have laughed but right then he was thinking the same thing. “I’m not to sure right now Aaron but you should take in what I say before this wears off. You are the person destined to save our people, if you don’t know one will.”
“What about Abe?”
Bill of course had no idea who Abe was but said: “Is Abe here? No. Is that thing in AC? Yes. Are you? Yes. Abe can’t get that thing, he’d have to be insane to go into Glucose but you’re already here. You can do it Aaron, and know one else can.”
Bill curled up and went to sleep after that. Aaron sat for a while and thought about it, then turned back to the map. Just then the old mud crept appeared out of the shadows near by. “Well,” He said, “ That guy’s sure got a lot of faith in you!”
“Alright,” Aaron replied, “How much are you paying him?”


To be continued...
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  #46  
02-04-2004, 12:10 AM
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Wheee!
Hang on...
There's a spiky end of a gun now?
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  #47  
02-04-2004, 10:31 AM
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Hihi! Your storys are so Funny, and still exiting and stuff! You get 10 stars from me !!
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  #48  
02-08-2004, 07:16 AM
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Cheers T!

And searge, think back
*flashback*

The slig raised his gun. And it was then that Reggie noticed 8 sharp spikes circling the gun barrel. He gasped in horror as the gun plunged downwards.
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  #49  
02-08-2004, 10:41 PM
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Ah, ok. Thanks for that.
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  #50  
02-17-2004, 11:46 AM
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Bad news dudes. EXTREME keyboard problems have resulted in the enter/return key failing to respond when pressed. This means no paragraphing exept by manually copy/pasting any paragraphs i want to include which is way to much trouble and hard work for me to bother with so frankly, no paragraphs. No paragraphs mean no speech or scene changes or the like. None of the like means no chapters. In other words, both my fics are postponed.
Splat's fics are CANCELLED (that's right, CANCELLED) until further notice. Sorry dudes. I know, i'm scared to. (and I'd just got to the bit of Splat with the canabolistic m- uh, givin to much away there! Sorry dudes.)
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Last edited by Splat; 02-19-2004 at 02:32 AM..
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  #51  
02-17-2004, 11:33 PM
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Ohhh, Am I sooo glad that I read this before posting in Splat.
Shame about the keyboard. Try making sure that the plugs connected.
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  #52  
02-19-2004, 02:34 AM
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YAY! problem solved, it was just a bug i kept getting every time i went on a certain website but once i turned off and then on again, the problem was gone! That means i can write new chapters...

It also means i can write the 2 bloomin English essays that i was set over the holiday! Stupid English teacher!
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  #53  
02-19-2004, 06:19 AM
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yaaaay!!!!!!
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  #54  
03-17-2004, 01:14 AM
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Come on! Keep em coming!
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  #55  
03-18-2004, 12:29 AM
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So... uh... Splat...
I was just wondering when the new chapter would come ...?
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  #56  
03-18-2004, 03:21 AM
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Yeah when??? I'm sitting here in the cold, waiting for the new chapter to appear.... I'M FREAZING!!! I mean... err... Just post a new one! PLEEEAAASEE!!
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  #57  
03-18-2004, 08:34 AM
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Sorry dudes, writers block! I'll go slap somethin together though. I know I've left you guys waitin for to long. Sorry!
Gah, i can't think of a good first line!
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  #58  
03-18-2004, 08:37 AM
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BOOOO!!! *trows filled can at Splat* We want more! BOOOO!!! *Gets can trown back with a note on it: STFU and wait! I have a writers Block!*

:P
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  #59  
03-18-2004, 09:46 AM
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*Splat sits in a bare room alone in front of a slightly squashed birthday cake with a single candle on top*

Splat: (singing) Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear me...

(To reader) I don't know if any of you really deserve this. You're lucky I'm feeling nice and that I don't believe in revenge...


Chapter 9, Tonight’s the night!

1 day…
Bill woke up the next morning and gazed over at the sleeping body of Aaron. It was 5:30 am. Wake up was in half an hour and Aaron was snatching up the last 2 hours of the morning for sleep. As Bill watched, Aaron stirred and opened his eyes. He immediately noticed Bill watching him.
“Hey, wanna test me?”
“Huh?”
“On the map. I gotta learn all the times and places and distances and numbers and stuff.”
“Uh, yeah, whatever!” Aaron pulled and piece of paper out of his loincloth (“don’t say a word!” He muttered) and handed it to Bill. “Ok then,” Bill began, staring at the long list of numbers and words on the paper. : “Ok, what time do you leave the bunks?”
“11, then I’ve got till 2 to get around the place and escape.”
“Okaay… extra credit for that! Question 2, what’s the first place you gotta get to and how long you got?”
“Take the stairs to the 5 floor weaponry within 20 minutes. Then I’ve got another 20 minutes to grab some stuff including a grappling hook and something about a metre long before the guard comes.”
“Great. Question 4, h-”
“What happened to question 3?”
“You just answered it with your in-depth account of the weaponry. Number 4, where to next, how long you got and what route do you have to take?”
For the next 25 or so minutes Aaron continued to answer Bill’s questions to an extent that left Bill with no doubt that Aaron could pull the stunt off.
“Ok, so you got ya Orb, and you’re in the engine room again, what now?”
“Climb onto boiler… uh, number 3?”
“Go on.”
“Onto boiler number three (I think) and out through the window above into the yard. Then head to the far-left corner of the yard and head about 15 metres to the right and use the grappling hook to get over the wall at the gap in the electric barbed wi-”
“TZZZZ! You’re fried mate, it’s 12 metres!”
“$h|t! I always get that bit wrong.”
“Just think-”
Bill trailed off as the wake up bell rang. He quickly rolled up the paper and threw it back across to Aaron who stuffed it back into his loincloth.
“Cheers Bill.” Aaron whispered. “Cheers for everything.”
“Hey, shut up! I’ve lost my will to live remember!”
Aaron smiled to himself.

Aaron’s attitude changed again that day. Now he just got on with work silently. He never said a word to the guards. He was almost in a trance except that managed to pick up every word said by the guards. Literally every word.
Bill, mean while, managed once more to get into the bathroom and wash himself. He would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those pesky kids… I mean the stoned slig in one of the cubicles that started shouting about the hippie slurgs dissecting his small intestine with hammers! It attracted attention to the toilets that Bill could have done without. That was the day that Bill discovered that having someone urinating on your open wounds really hurts!
Apart from that the day was pretty much uneventful. No one would have guessed that it was planned that in a matter of hours several items would be removed from the weaponry and that the power in one room off corridor AC would cut out mysteriously. Or that a mudokon was planning to sneak into that room while the power was off, remove one item from the room, and then escape out of the engine room into the backyard and over the wall towards the forest many miles to the Southwest…
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Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

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  #60  
03-18-2004, 09:50 AM
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Havoc
Cheesecake Apocalypse
 
: May 2003
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urinating on open wounds, totaly gold worth! haha... come on keep em coming.
BTW, Happy birthday! But hey, you never mentioned
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