Amy

[munchou]

Yo, keep it up, no need to depress, it's your own work, we are watching you. Odd chick is waiting for your 6th chapter, isn't it sufficient ?
Show us the next chapter !

[odd chick]

Yes, I am waiting for your next chapter! I've been waiting ages!! Anyway, this story is great, Splat. One of the best Oddworld fanfics I've ever read. You've just got to show us the next chapter!

[T-nex]

Woot! Go splat! Don't worry i'm still with you!

Now get on with the next chapter!!!

[Splat]

YES!!!! PEOPLE ARE READING THIS!! I'M STILL BEING LOVED!!!!!
ok, normally by Monday you would have till wait till the next weekend for the chapter but as I haven't posted since December:

Chapter 6

Alf
Splat was rolling on the ground laughing so hard that his eyes were watering.
"THAT WASN’T FUNNY SPLAT!!!" Needless to say, Abe was furious.
"Yes… It was… You should have seen your…" Splat gasped between laughs.
"Splat, you are the biggest tw@t in the universe!" Needless to say, so was Munch.
I chucked a rock at Splat, who just brushed it off and kept laughing. "One of these days Splat…" Actually, we were all were pretty pissed off.
"But you said… You said I was going through puberty and could… could be let off these things!"
"No, I said not to take the bait. I never mentioned it being unreasonable that we should be angry at you making us run halfway across the desert when we were all already nackered!"
"Sorry guys. But Munch… I couldn’t resist… After that Can Body thing…" And he burst out laughing again. "Anyway, we had too… had too catch up yesterday morning!"
"We wouldn’t of had to catch up yesterday if you lot hadn’t all been causing me a ton of trouble when we were leaving!" Abe had to be annoyed to drag Munch and me into it.
"Excuse me," I answered, "If I hadn’t been "causing you trouble" we’d all be starving by now."
"Yeah, and we probably would have been eaten by scrabs last night if it hadn’t been for my tents!"
"They’re not your tents Splat, they’re the glukkons tent." Munch informed him irritably.
"I made em!"
"They invented em!"
Splat, your turn to make dinner!" I interrupted, stopping a full-scale argument breaking out.
"Why should I?"
"Cause if you don’t we’ll set fire to your tent in the night." Munch informed us. Abe and me had to dive on top of Splat as he suddenly leapt at Munch, almost ripping his arm off.
Munch leapt away and yelled angrily, "What’s up with you all of a sudden Splat?"
"Get lost Munch!" Splat Screeched for shred power and me and Abe dived away from him. Instead of attacking Munch though, he flew off into the desert as darkness closed in around us.
"You’ve gotta stop taking his bait like that Munch," I said seriously, Munch just snorted angrily and muttered something about getting firewood and walked off in the opposite direction as Splat.
"You’ll have a long search Munch," Abe called after him, "The closest tree to this hell-hole is probably at least 40 miles away," And pulled one of Splat’s portable fire things out of his backpack.
The smell of cooking food was enough to pull Munch back but Splat was gone much longer; even after we’d set up our tents and I could here Munch and Abe snoring there was no sign of him.
I drifted uncomfortably in and out of sleep, my thoughts always sneaking up to the quest ahead. If Splat and Munch were gonna be trying to kill each other every night we really didn’t stand much of a chance. Splat had been moodier than any other teenager I’d ever seen these last few days.
A noise outside woke me from my thoughts. A few seconds later I realised it was someone setting up a tent. "Splat?"
There was a scuffle, "Dammit Alf, you scared the Hell out of me!"
"Sorry… Splat?" He didn’t answer so I went on, "You OK buddy? You nearly murdered Munch earlier."
He sighed and didn’t answer. I thought he wasn’t going to but as I was drifting off to sleep he spoke up again, "You know what they used to do Alf?"
"Who?"
"Raiders. Industrialists, come to kidnap slaves."
"No… What?"
"They would set fire to a hut to draw all the mudokons to one place. Then they would use the opportunity to sneak up on us and either kill or capture this all." He was silence for a few seconds before he went on, "And we almost got away Alf." He addressed me but I had the feeling he was talking more to himself now, "If I hadn’t been such and idiot to try and save Paras we could have gotten away. We never would have been captured, I never would have lost him and the vykkers would never have done… this," I heard him jam one of his scrab legs into the soil, "Would never have happened to me."
I wanted to say something but what could I? What could I say to comfort a kid whose life had been ripped apart?

Dedicated to Mr Gibbs, my German teacher, in return for a memorable German lesson where he echoed Splat (only it was a test, not a herd of scrabs).

Sorry, you might need to reread chapter 5 to get the gist of this. It was a bad time to stop i guess. Anyway, read and reply!

[The Shadowman]

Great work, beatiful, brilliant, all of those fine detials are what make it seem like a great story, no just someone going willy nilly and expecting you to know what they are talking about. We share something in common, we are both writers, and from writer to writer if you ever get the chance could you check out my thread in the Non-oddworld art and lit section called an Imp's Tale which speaks about my expectations for my book that I wish to get published and some writer tips for publication. Why don't the rest of you writers write like Splat, Me and the Imp both give it a tumbs up

[odd chick]

Wow!! That was an excellent chapter, Splat!! I'm really glad you updated this story because it is really good! It's one of the best!

[T-nex]

Why don't the rest of you writers write like Splat, Me and the Imp both give it a tumbs up

What's that suposed to mean??


Anyway, as usual i love the cahpter Hmm.. Poor Splat going through Puberty

[Splat]

For future reference, mudokons go through puberty roughly between 16 and 20 Earth years (that's 8 and 10, Odd years.)
I really need to write all that stuff about the Odd calander down. I'll just put it here as I've already started:
Hours, minutes, seconds are the same in Odd time as in Earth time (as demonstrated by the countdowns around various zones as they approach distruction). However, an Odd day is 25 hours long and an odd year, 701 days long. Because of the longer days, this makes Odd years very nearly the same as 2 Earth years.
The 2 Odd calanders to note are industrial and Mudokon. Industrial calanders consist of 20 periods: 19 35 day long periods and one 36 day long period (or "segment"). Mudokon calanders consist of 7 "Seasons", all one hundred days long, and a "New Day" which is apart from the seasons and marks the coming of the new year.

Now if I haven't bored you all to death, thanks for your replies, its great to get feedback. Consider it done Shadowman

[Splat]

Saturday! 2 days of freedom and another chapter:


Chapter 7

Splat
There’s one thing that’s a hundred times worse than people talking about you behind your back.
"Munch?"
"What?"
"Can you do me a favour? Try to go easy on Splat today, ok?"
People talking about you in front of your back.
"Excuse me? Me go easy on him!"
"Oh come on Munch, he’s… he’s had a hard life."
Alf has this way of making people tell him their feelings. I don’t know how he does it. it’s ok usually but on this particular occasion…
"And I haven’t?"
"Come on Munch, they dragged him away from his village when he was 7 (still Earth) years old."
"They almost wiped out my entire species Alf!" His voice was rising. Abe apparently heard cause I heard him call from across the camp: "IF ONLY THEY’D FINISHED THE JOB!"
"They wiped out all his friends and family Munch, when he was there watching. He was 7 years old-"
"And when you’ve all finished discussing my life with each other I think it would be a good thing if we got going." I climbed out of my tent making Alf jump. Munch was standing next to him looking irritated at Alf. Abe was on the other side of the camp looking up in surprise, half-crouched over a smouldering portable fire. I took off and flew up into the sky.
I just didn’t want Munch knowing that sort of thing about me. I didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for me. "Oh, isn’t it sad? Poor little Splat! So terrible! The poor thing!" I don’t want to be felt sorry for, I don’t want any special treatment, I don’t want to be singled out (at least no more than I already was). It was actually a comfort to scream at Munch. Knowing that he treated me the same way he’d treat anyone else was a relief. It was just so normal; I could get on without any "Oh, poor Splat, what a tragedy!"
With Alf… he understood. You could just tell that whatever you told him, he would treat you the same. I guess he was thinking about me attacking Munch last night… and the day before that, and decided it would be safer for Munch to shut up. And he probably would now. And Alf would probably feel bad about telling Munch about what I’d told him. And Abe just never talked much anymore anyway. It was gonna be a long trip.

Abe
It had to be a record! Munch had never gone so long without talking. In fact, he and Splat hadn’t said a word to each other all day! It was like some kind of brilliant miracle!
2 days later, when they were still not talking to each other or anyone else on the move, it was starting to get depressing. Alf had made some feeble attempt at conversation but never got anywhere. Sure, there was talking at night, about "Whose tent peg is this?" Or "Whose making dinner tonight?" But that was about it. It was depressing. It was annoying me worse than there constant arguing! And now:
"So where is it Abe?"
I looked down at the list of instructions Alf’s omnipotent being had left us. "This is exactly what it says: "5 and a half days walk North you should see the station. Catch a train-" blah blah blah!"
"Well its not here is it Abe?" Munch answered indignantly.
"I blame Munch for making us so late on the first day." Splat put in unhelpfully.
"I blame Splat for making us leg it so far on the… second day."
"That made us go faster!"
"It probably sent us of course!"
"Shut up Munch!"
"Shut up yourself!"
Alf and I were hanging on every word: it was the argument I’d been waiting for for 3 days! I guess they noticed us staring. Splat shot Alf a furious look and took off into the air. I sighed and slumped down onto a rock. Munch and Alf also slumped onto various rocks at the exact same time as me (though Munch’s sigh sounded more exasperated than either of ours). There was a few seconds pause.
"Strange."
"Weird."
"ABE?"
I looked up at Splat, "What is it?"
"I think I’ve found your station." He was hovering about a 40 feet above us and pointing ahead and slightly to the left.
"YOU SURE IT’S NOT JUST A MIRAGE SPLAT?" Munch called up sardonically.
"Do mirages bore massive trenches in the sand?"
"Uh…"
"OH, COME ON MUNCH!" Alf yelled, getting some odd looks from the rest of us. He paused, embarrassed for a few seconds, before running in the direction Splat had pointed.
"What on Odd was that?" Munch asked, surprised.
"Stress: it gets to the best of us," I answered, "Come on."
15 minutes later we were standing on top of a particularly large ridge of sand. Below us was a large red and gold building. It was shaped like a massive puseok (a small, translucent, flesh-eating insect about 17 cm long [I mentioned them in Splat under a different name but since then I’ve basically changed the whole name and bio. The older versions were nicked off some other story but since then me and my best mate have changed the name and designed our own version]): a very large elongated dome with a few train-sized tunnels sticking off in various directions with train pylons poking out and disappearing into the distance (below these the sand had been carved away to make room).
"Wow… not much like FeeCo is it?"
"I wouldn’t know Abe, you’re the only person here who’s ever seen FeeCo."
"Well for one, it wasn’t shaped like a giant insect. For another," I scanned the ground around the station; "There weren’t a hundred odd sligs standing around outside."
"Gonna be one of those days isn’t it," Splat put in, landing beside us."
"Damn!" Munch cried suddenly, "If this is what it’s like in Mudos, what’s it gonna be like around Amy’s place?"


For your own benefit, i'll try and dig up our picture of a puseok. In the mean time, REPLY!!!!!

[odd chick]

That was a nice chapter, Splat! Wow, is arguing all Splat and Munch ever do?!! It's amazing!! Well, I can't wait to see what else happens!!!

[Splat]

You'll probably be waiting a while: that one was that last i had in stock. I'll be posting as i write them from now on. I get tomorow of school so I'll try and get some written then anyway.

[odd chick]

Ok. We'll be waiting!

[T-nex]

I like your imagination, and the way of explaining things
It gives a clear image of whats happening....

Still love ya

[Splat]

curses, this means i have to write something before the weekend. I was hoping I'd only get the one this week. Ah well, off I go!

[Seargentbig]

Due to the fact that the computer became a cespit of viruses shortly after my last post, I was unable to post again for anything. Dad ended up re-formating the computer two days ago and now the internet is running as good as new again.
But to business - the latest chapters are great, Splat! Cant wait for more.

Big

[Splat]

Good to see ya back! I know that feeling. Our first PC battled virus after virus, faulty games, uncompatible systems, being forced to work updates that it was way to old for. It got to the point where it literally wouldn't run for 10 minutes without crashing (probably why it took me so long to finish writing Splat) and has now sprouted a pari of angel wings and gone up to PC heaven. In short, you'll get the next chapter as soon as I write it, though I have a major exam on monday so it probably won't come this weekend! (Gasp, wheeze)

[Seargentbig]

Well... yeah, but we only got this PC six months ago...

[Splat]

Ah, good point. Anyway, I have asevere case of writiers block between me and the next chapter, and I'm going away for the weekend so I'm gonna have a lot to do. You'll get the next chapter as soo n as I get an idea.

[cherie]

ah yes,writers block sucks. doing very good so far

[Angel-FoX-crescent]

Hi I've just been reading the first few bits of Splats first story and it'ds cool ^-^
by chance could you draw a picture of him so I can picture him better... please?

PS Once I've finished the first story I'll read this one too ^-^

Oh yes writer's block is my worst foe too. I hate it so much!

[Splat]

When i learn to draw I'll draw him. Sorry, I'm just really bad at drawing. You'll have to depend on the description of him.
I finally had an idea for the next chapter. It's actually a part that i intended to put in later. But I'll try and get round to it asap.

[Splat]

Ok, i finally got this finished. I know it's not great. Sorry guys, i did my best. I'm having to redo a large portion of the plot of this story to stop it being to short.

Anyway, I've kept you in suspence to enough, so here it is...


Chapter 8

Abe
Sligs are idiots; there’s no doubt about it. The moment they here chanting, instead of looking for the culprit, they start running around like 5-year-olds on a sugar rush. Not that looking would have helped them, Munch and Alf were ready with rocks if the necessity to use them became great and Splat was hiding over the hill, ready to leap to attack if he became needed. All we had to do was shout the password (cheese board) and he’d be over here slashing up sligs like an out-of-control meat processor.
Still, as stupid as sligs may be, they can certainly tell when one of their buddies has been possessed, and they aren’t slow to react. And when I’d got through 5 of the 20 (give or take) we were beginning to worry that one of them might find us before we managed to sneak Munch inside. But as luck would have it:
"Hey, who did that one hit? Was it you Kren?"
"No, do I look possessed? It flew from that direction!" And pointed about ten metres away from the dune behind which Munch and Alf (and I guess, me) were hidden.
"Well," Began one, "I think the best option would be to kill each other and then we’ll be sure to get rid of the terrorist."
Over the insults and jeers, I made my voice heard, "I really think we should be more LENIENT than that."
"Lenient? What the Hell are you talking about?"
"I dunno, I just like the word lenient."
The other sligs started muttering, one unmistakably coughed the word "Queer" but it didn’t matter. Lenient was the word I was meant to say to tell Munch and Alf it was safe to enter the building. As the sligs jeered at me they sneaked in behind them.
"Listen Newbie, we don’t need none o’ your fancy talk, you hear me?"
Oh fine," I answered through the slig’s mouth, "Lets go back to plan A then shall we?" And pulling out my gun, I began blasting everything in sight.
1.73 seconds later I was back in my own body and all but 4 of the sligs were dead. I yelled "Cheese board" into the sky. Immediately Splat shot over the hill and did his thing. The last slig ran to the door to sound the alarm (at last) only to be shot in the head by a homicidal Snoozer, which then waved one of its… things at us and turned back into the building. Splat called up a reserve shred power and we followed.

Munch

We congregated around my body. "Ok," Abe began, "We need to get through here quickly, the train we want apparently leaves just as it gets dark. We need to be on board by then so we need to keep it simple. Save the mudokons we can and get on the train. This sort of place should have a map or something near the entrance so Munch can bring his snoozer along and the two of us will take a look. We don’t want to waste the snoozer if we can help it. Alf, Splat, stay here and guard Munch’s body. If we’re not back in 20 minutes send Splat after us. Got that?"
I raised a hand, "What do we do if you get shot?"
"Shut up Munch. Any useful questions?"
"What do we do if the alarm sounds?" Alf asked.
"Hide somewhere inside around here; you’ll have to shove Munch into the shadows. Me and Munch will try to get back to you and if we can’t, at least Munch’ll come back. Any more questions? Good. Lets go Munch."
"Ok Bossman. Off to be useful,"I announced.
"NOW, Munch." With a grin, I set off into the bowels of the building behind Abe, gun at the ready.
"So, where’s this map Abe?" I asked as we walked away from the others.
"We’re meant to be looking for it Munch. That’s what we’re doing. Maybe you should try listening."
"I do listen. I was just asking a simple question."
"A stupid question."
"Same thing." I answered.
Abe stopped, turned around and stared critically into my (or the snoozer’s) face. "Munch?"
"Yes Abe?" I said brightly.
"Shut up."
"Shut up yourself, you’re making as much noise as I am."
"Munch, just… Just tell me if you see a story stone or something, ok?"
"What, you mean like that one over there?"
"Where?"
"Hah! Gotcha that time!" Man, I’m so funny.
"Munch, just SHUT UP!"
"Wow, who got up on the wrong side of bed this morning?" I asked defensively.
"One more word Munch and I’ll shove one of Splat’s portable fires so far up your butt that you’ll be able to swallow it!"
"Oh fine… Git." I muttered.
"I’m gonna ignore that comment."
"You do that."
"I will."
"Good."
"Yeah."
Neither of us talked for a while. I was pretty annoyed. Abe was always so ungrateful, I mean, here I was, risking my life to help him out and all he could do was insult me!
"We better head back or Alf will be panicking. Look down that passage Munch, see if you can spot a map."
"There was one back there." I answered.
"WHAT!"
"You walked right past it!"
"Why didn’t you tell me?"
"You told me to shut up! I was just doing what you told me!" Like I said, so ungrateful.
At that point, security arrived. "Freeze b@st@rd"
Thinking quickly, I shot Abe in the stomach. "OUCH"
"Huh? Oh." The slig seemed surprised to see me. "You think there might be more of em Snoozer?"
Thinking quickly, I shot the slig as well. "Ouch!" I fried it before it could get back up and walked back over to Abe.
"What was that for Munch?"
"Hey, I hit you on a low setting. And I saved your life!"
"By frying me with your Snoozer?"
"Hey, I saved your life." Another example of mudokon ungratefulness. "And you don’t know how good that felt!"
"Shut up Munch." Abe said, pushing himself tenderly to his feet. "Just show me where this map is."
"You’re the boss, Bossman." I answered and headed back down the passage.


I've rewritten the second half of that chapter. It's better now.

[cherie]

ah yes time. one of the things so short of in supply yet so needed to write. course i don't have that problem, i don't go to school and i don't have a job at the moment ( working on that). my only problem is writers block.

in anycase,on to the comment about the story. funny chapter. can't wait for more

[Angel-FoX-crescent]

When i learn to draw I'll draw him. Sorry, I'm just really bad at drawing. You'll have to depend on the description of him.
I finally had an idea for the next chapter. It's actually a part that i intended to put in later. But I'll try and get round to it asap.

Hey I know why don't you allow me to draw him for you? I'm very good at drawing creatures which at some point I'm gonna show off my odd art all in dew time. But any how leve some simple depiction of your creation plus color tone.
c'ya
Angel-FoX-crescent

[odd chick]

Hey I know why don't you allow me to draw him for you? I'm very good at drawing creatures which at some point I'm gonna show off my odd art all in dew time. But any how leve some simple depiction of your creation plus color tone.
c'ya
Angel-FoX-crescent

Yeah, I think you're a really good artist, Angel Fox. I remember when my buddy BBS wrote a story not too long ago, I believe it was Fuzzle Guy who did some illustrations for it. It was really interesting to see a story done that way. And Splat, that was not a bad chapter, it was really funny with all of the immature bickering and complaining!

[Angel-FoX-crescent]

Thankx odd-chick I hope you'll look forward to my odd-fic (The impending scion) in the mean time I'll try to do some pics of my own oddworld creatures. Hey by the way do think Munch should have a vapoureon?

Tumbles off to bed as it's 3am in UK good job it's half term...

I bid you good night "goes off to find her night cap lol" ^-^

[odd chick]

Good night, Angel Fox! I can't wait to see your fanfic!

[Angel-FoX-crescent]

Hi I'm awake and Friday night I'll put my odd creatures some that star in the story and just a couple of random ones ^-^

I'm going Introduce
My story characters first

1. Titanium Species- Genetic scrab.

Depiction- Black skin and the stomach areas is a dark shade of purple. Beak or muzzle is silver and he has a flexible metal tail (titanium tail implanted on his lower back. His body is much longer then normal scrabs. Last but not least, he has long pale lime green whiskers (like a Chinese dragon) these enables him to track body heat (kinda like a snake does)

2. Mace

Species- Slig
Gender- male
Age 2

- Unlike many sligs he is born with silver like skin (more like a pale grey) plus he is blessed with a parmite tattoo on his back which at will lets him changes his skin color to green which he is the majority of the time.
In time he learns how to transform into a silver parmite.

Personality- compassionate, funny, smart, though some times he some times lacks common sense.

Equipment- Has a normal ray-plasma gun. He wears a snazzy metal ring on his right wrist this converts his metal pants to wings.

3. Mindy
- Slig
Age 2
Gender - female

- Mindy is one of the very few born princess sligs (female sligs) dew to her white skin and orange stripes and have tails.

Work history once cared for creatures varying from fuzzles, slogs, etc at vykkers labs but left to work for dark spire city.

Personality- Kind and clever but has a fiery ego when angry.

Equipment- wears special pants that she designed. They are both light and strong and sports small sleek fins on the heels that helps her to swim.

4. Ivory
Fuzzle queen

She originally had white fur with brown slash markings on her eyes. But she had unfortunate encounter with a washing machine that turned her fur a pale pink "lol" though her eye makings remain.

Psychical trends- orange eyes two little tuffs of fur on the top of her head, making them look like cat ears.

Personality- takes time to trust but once that happens Ivory is very loyal to ones she likes.

How do you like them?

[Splat]

Sounds like you've got it all planned out! Interesting ideas, i'll keep my eyes open for that.
And cheers for all your replies. I should have the next chapter done by the end of next week (asuming i manage to dig through my ever growing pile of homework to reach the keyboard) and hopefully I'll get it up soon.

Cheers Angel-fox, that would be great. I'll have a look at my original description of Splat and maybe do a bit of work on it and then get it to you. It would be cool. Like i said, my own drawing skills are... less than anything good.

Anyway, it's great to get your feedback, glad you all liked that last chapter more than i did! I'll get the next chapter up hopefully quicker than the last one. See ya guys!

[T-nex]

This chapter was hilarious

I wish you'd post more soon.