If men ruled the world....

One, Two, Middlesboogie · #1 05-21-2002, 08:22 AM

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during an ad break.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the backside and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in beer.

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the footy team of your choice.

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Rubbish would take itself out.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

Sl'askia · #2 05-21-2002, 09:01 AM

I like the tank one...

Now what about women?

Gluk Schmuck · #3 05-21-2002, 09:07 AM

What a fun world!

*goes off to hire a tank*

Teal · #4 05-21-2002, 10:52 AM

Now that's scary, we all liked the tank one... :S

*wants one anyway, no matter how scary it is*

PinkHaired Mudokon CWR · #5 05-21-2002, 08:02 PM

:

Originally posted by Gluk Schmuck
What a fun world!

*goes off to hire a tank*

Yeah right! It would be a smelly beer guzzling, chaos un organized war bound monkey bombing every one belching and farting disgusting difficult place!

Well, that sums it up

munchman · #6 05-21-2002, 08:37 PM

thats a cool world, i like the one about the funnest guy in the office would be CEO lol

*suddenly has a bad dream about a hyper monkey getting to be CEO at the Zoo*

nads · #7 05-22-2002, 06:17 PM

And insted of voting, us men wouldn't care(like we do now)

Statikk HDM · #8 05-22-2002, 06:49 PM

What about guys not voting? Voter apathy is rampant with both genders.

Danny · #9 05-23-2002, 04:42 PM

In a way, Birth Control already does come in Beer...

Jacob · #10 05-23-2002, 06:03 PM

How very true...exactly why i stick to the girlie drinx.

Black Waltz 0 · #11 05-24-2002, 09:02 AM

I may be a girl, but I still find that extemely hilarious.

paramiteabe · #12 05-24-2002, 10:34 AM

Litterally speaking: If men ruled the world and there were NO women at all then the race of men would die in one generation, because there are no women to concieve. No birthing, which means no humens, which means the humens that exist will eventually die off and there will be nobody at all. But that is just an extreme case of men ruling the world without women of coarse. Same goes with women. If there were just women and no men then they too would die off because there are no men to fertilize during sex.

But of coarse I am being too literal here and we know that will never happen.

Teal · #13 05-24-2002, 12:49 PM

Eh, paramiteabe... how does men ruling the world equate to no women? I think most of us are pretty clued up on the concept that if women didn't exist there'd be no humans... (well, not with the technology we have right now. On the other hand, if humans had evolved to procreate without females, we'd all be hermaphrodites...)

*drives her pet tank down the high street and crushes all the cars illegally parked in the bus lane* Hah! Take that, evil people always making me late to lectures!

Jacob · #14 05-24-2002, 02:55 PM

If men ruled the world it would be shite. Football all the time, wars, riots...basically it would be full of shit(!)
However, last yr we got in a 'argument' in RE about women ruling the world (Cos...well...women are amazing(!)). The guys were like "Yeh, but how would you have kids." and the lass' were like "I dunno...there's cloning." and the guys went "Yeh...but that has consequences." lass' said "So does sex." so i decided to say "Women could enslave the men, making them do all the chores and when one of them wanted a child...had sex with him. Or they could just have sex with the gay guys."

I told this story before...but it is a good concept. Like per usual i had the girls on my side and the lads going "Oh shut up." Oh yes...it pays to be Queer.

dark_xinos · #15 05-24-2002, 07:11 PM

Jacobs right! Who could stand to se... *chudders* SPORT on tv. I hate sports! Who could come up with a more boring subject?

Sports are just something to calm the fighting hormons in men.
If I know you guys right. A woman, will quote me, and say. "I like sports" Just to shut me down. But, hay hay, never fear, say no more, say no more!!. I already thought of that, so...

*runs of to guverment with topic"

Doug · #16 05-24-2002, 08:05 PM

Men do rule the world.

I'm not saying it should be that way; in fact, I think it's wrong. But it's the truth.

By the way, about the fake phone number thing, someone has set up a number for women to give to men who ask for their phone numbers that plays a recording that says the woman doesn't want you to call her and doesn't want to see you again. Ouch.

Hmmm . . . . Maybe men don't rule the world.

Jacob · #17 05-24-2002, 09:19 PM

Women rule the world, with the gays helping. But we just let the str8 men think they rule it...so they feel important

Danny · #18 05-24-2002, 09:37 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
If men ruled the world it would be shite. Football all the time, wars, riots...basically it would be full of shit(!)

Does this not sound familiar to anyone? It sounds like the world as it is now! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

:

"Women could enslave the men, making them do all the chores and when one of them wanted a child...had sex with him. Or they could just have sex with the gay guys."

Pardon my ignorance, but why would a gay guy want to have sex with a woman?

My solution (to oh so many problems): Everyone should come out as Bisexual. Let's face it, everyone is, deep down...

Doug · #19 05-24-2002, 09:48 PM

:

Originally posted by Danny
My solution (to oh so many problems): Everyone should come out as Bisexual. Let's face it, everyone is, deep down...

Not.

Danny · #20 05-24-2002, 10:15 PM

:

Originally posted by Doug
Not.

Whoever said that short posts were spam?

Jacob · #21 05-24-2002, 10:16 PM

:

Pardon my ignorance, but why would a gay guy want to have sex with a woman?

To spread the love and make sure there is no counter affects (Such as str8 men getting off on breeding.)

:

Not.

The diff between a Bisexual guy and a str8 guy is 6 pints of Lager Doug...just remember that.

Danny · #22 05-24-2002, 10:18 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
To spread the love and make sure there is no counter affects (Such as str8 men getting off on breeding.)

If only everyone were as selfless as you, Chris...

Doug · #23 05-25-2002, 12:08 AM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
The diff between a Bisexual guy and a str8 guy is 6 pints of Lager Doug...just remember that.

I repeat: Not. At least, not for me. Maybe it comes down to the fact that I'm a hopeless square, but I've just got no tendencies in that direction.

I've had 6 pints of beer before, and I've never desired a man. I've desired plenty of women, but after 6 pints, it's tough getting off the floor to do anything about it.

paramiteabe · #24 05-25-2002, 02:53 AM

I was just giveing an example on if men were put on earth meraculasly without women that is what would happen.

Jacob · #25 05-25-2002, 10:27 AM

:

I repeat: Not. At least, not for me. Maybe it comes down to the fact that I'm a hopeless square, but I've just got no tendencies in that direction.

Ok, go out with a group of close friends. Drink loads and loads until your Liver shrivels up into a prune. And then watch a porn film and see what comes about. This has been tried and tested and the results are astonishing

.