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O Romeo, that she were, O that she were/an open-arse and thou a popp’rin’pear.
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Translation: “It’s too bad Rosaline is not a walking orifice, amiright?”
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But I might see Cupid’s fiery shaft
Quenched in the chaste beams of the watery moon
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Translation: “And then the flaming penis shot into the sky’s vagina. I totally saw the whole thing.”
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This woman’s an easy glove, my lord; she goes off and on at pleasure.
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Translation: “Girlfriend might as well have a reservoir tip.”
Shakespeare was once an aspiring glove-maker, he so he knew that the best lady's gloves were made of lambskin, as were the condoms of the time. I don't think he ever used the word "glove" that wasn't innuendo.
Night = vagina; day = penis.
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Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night;
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow on a raven’s back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night,
Give me my Romeo.
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Translation: “Sweet Jesus, I can’t wait to lose my virginity!”
