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i've always been morbidly fascinated with death and whatever comes after it, if anything. i know that if things fuck up magnificently, i've always got that escape, my Get Out Of Jail Free card. and it'll be a fucking adventure. if there's nothing, so be it, at least i got out when i wanted to. but if there is something, maybe i can somehow start again.
maybe that's just me being fucked in the head, but that's how i feel about it. no, i don't have any specific beliefs about what happens when you die, but when the time comes i suppose i'll find out one way or another. i won't be disappointed no matter what the outcome, it's a win-win situation for me, at least i fucking tried.
so in short: i dunno.
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You know.. the funny thing is I have the EXACT same thoughts regarding death.
But im also more fatal about it I guess. I see this world as a boring, gray pile of dirt. However... In this grey world, there is really tasty ice cream. So tasty that I'm not willing to let it go just yet. The ice cream takes form in all the things I like and enjoy. Such as love, friends, family, fun...
But once the supply ice cream slips up, nothing really hold me back from ending it. I find most of the regular life to be tedious, and it doesn't make sense at all.
Like to me... it doesn't make sense to have to go through education, only to get a job and show off to others about it. Not unless it's fun. Im not gonna go on merely because it's the society way of doing. If it's fun, then yea. I'll keep going. Yup.
I suppose that's strange... or...