Cyberbullying -

Wings of Fire · #91 05-01-2011, 01:40 PM

The only way to deal with sustained abuse is for an outside intervention. Dealing with bullies is one of the many parts of their job that teachers are woefully woefully inadequate at. The best way to ensure someone doesn't become a bully victim later in life is to keep them from being a bully victim earlier in life.

Bullying doesn't build character, it breaks it. Psychologically proven.

STM · #92 05-01-2011, 02:00 PM

But sometimes this is the wrong option for an 'outcast' if the bully is friendly with most of the people in his or her year, and he or she targets said 'outcast' sometimes intervention from an authority figure results in the outcast being pestered by many more people who have just seen their friend get in a lot of trouble. This happened to me when I was 10 and six years on I would never get help from authority if I was ever bullied again, thankfully I am built of thicker stuff than I was a child though. =)

Wings of Fire · #93 05-01-2011, 02:10 PM

That's why it needs to be a clever intervention. It can happen and they do work.

You may have learned that standing up for yourself gets the bullies to back off, but I learnt that standing up for yourself gets the bullies to call their mates out. Bullies are not cowards, neither are they only bullying because they want friends. Life is not an 80's coming of age movie and problems do not magically resolve themselves.

STM · #94 05-01-2011, 02:26 PM

From what I know, all bully's are cowards who hind behind more bully's, it works for me but obviously not everyone. Therefore we know that there is no point in trying to make an equation for success, what works in once situation does not work in others.

Wings of Fire · #95 05-01-2011, 02:30 PM

Which is why teachers and counsellors and suchlike should be flexible and adaptive. They are, after all, responsible for the wellfare of a child for eleven or so years eight hours a day.

Seriously. The biggest obstacle to teachers being effectively able to deal with bullies is because they still labour under these bullshit cliches about bullies just crying out for attention or that being a good kid prevails. It's sick.

Goresplatter · #96 05-01-2011, 04:07 PM

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Also for your information I think laws against cyber bullying are stupid too, my suggestion is for people to be schooled on how to defend themselves against this kind of abuse. Something that actually works.

Then, it's funny that I've been opposing you on this debate, because this I pretty much fully agree with.

My point, summarised, is that bullying will never be stopped at the source (the bullies). Some people figure out their own counters or ways to deal with it. What I'm trying to do (and try to do if the situation ever calls for it) is advise people on what I've found works. Believe it or not, I'm trying to help people. I just lose patience when people are so lost in self pity that they're CERTAIN there's no solution.

And I'm also informing people that if they think it's bad at school or whatever, then they better deal with it before it becomes MUCH, MUCH harsher.

STM · #97 05-02-2011, 04:25 AM

This will all be irrelevant soon anyway because once the space pirates invade we'll all have to work together.

Jango · #98 05-03-2011, 09:28 AM

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Bullying doesn't build character, it breaks it.

I agree 100% strongly. I've never been cyberbullied, as I don't have a mobile phone and I've only had Facebook for the last year.

But I was bullied verbally by girls and boys in my first two years at secondary school. By my third year, I had no confidence whatsoever and felt unworthy of being able to talk to anyone for social benefit. Luckily though, I managed to find a group of friends who were nice and kept me happy throughout my third and fourth year at secondary school. Since the start of my fifth year (Year 11), I've had the confidence to make friends with others, and now - being at the end of my fifth year - I can have a friendly chat with many guys in my year group, which I find great compared to how miserable my life was four years ago.

However, I've found myself unable to socialise with girls at all - even though I want to - but I simply can't, because girls were always really bitter towards me for a large portion of my life (throughout primary school and into first two years at secondary school) so I've had no experience - even though I'm starting to get better. Also, I find myself to be extremely different from others - I don't own a mobile phone, for example, while everyone else my age does. These things can make me feel depressed sometimes.

So I would definitely say that bullying certainly can change you as a person and can have future consequences, as it has done for me.

The thing that stopped me telling anyone about it (i.e.: parents/teachers) was that I was extremely ashamed of being bullied. I didn't want to put worry on my parents and didn't want them to think I was a social failure, which I really regret.

So I think one element of victims not wanting to tell their parents is that they feel ashamed, as well as consequences from the bullies (as others have stated).

STM · #99 05-03-2011, 11:12 AM

What you should do is what I did, you seem to be in a similar position I was in in year nine. I simply decided I wouldn't give a fuck about what people think of me any more, I started working out till I had a six pack (and I haven't stopped yet) this boosts self esteem a lot, especially since at around 11 I was quite chubby, sit next to a girl and just chat without the overall goal of getting a date or something. Maybe go to some house parties, get piss drunk and socialise. =)

MeechMunchie · #**100** 05-03-2011, 02:49 PM

Everyone listen to the Psychology student.

Dixanadu · #**101** 05-03-2011, 02:59 PM

If you're being bullied, you punch the fucker hard. And you don't stop.

T-nex · #**102** 05-03-2011, 03:05 PM

And then when you've been in jail, everyone will be afraid of you

Dixanadu · #**103** 05-03-2011, 03:17 PM

PSNI just keep you in overnight.

Probably fine you a fifty quid because they're orange cunts.

STM · #**104** 05-04-2011, 10:15 AM

^ this man child knows the truth.

Mac Sirloin · #**105** 05-04-2011, 11:50 AM

I was against bullying until I realized I had the brain and arms for it.

Then I was more against it because I realized having myself as a bully would have been awful because I can be a particularly nasty piece of shit in person. Bullyin' bad.

Ridg3 · #**106** 05-04-2011, 02:12 PM

Intelligent bullies are the most scary of the bullies. Thankfully, I never had one of those. The ones I had were more brawn over brain (although even if they had arm noodles they'd still be brawn over brain.)

I'm actually disgusted with myself for letting them successfully frighten me to the point where I had no self-esteem/confidence going into secondary school. Of course, when that happens you find that you strayed from the devil you know and realize that there's worse people out there.

Thankfully around forth year I decided to lash back at one of my former tormentors. The bullying stopped for a while. Believe me when I say that you really can't set standards when messing around with scumbags like that.

Rex Tirano · #**107** 05-04-2011, 06:04 PM

I think Wof is the authority on this matter. XD

For me, and my personal experiences of cyberbullying, I think that not only (as Wof said) that it can destroy a 'safe place' that people who find social sitautions or for whatever reasons find solace in the internet have. I remember that once (in the heyday of Oddchat) some friends of mine from school created a seperate chatroom through Oddchat on the IRC server and then progressed to speak about me and what they were going to do to me at length (I was told by of the girls involved at the time who still happens to be a friend of mine). This really destroyed me; Oddchat was a place (that for those of you who remember) that I spent pretty much everyday on because I had a very difficult home life and very difficult school experience and the friends I made only were and still are in some cases some of my closest friends (Aw). But the fact that they used this against me in a way that helped them bully me further just made me lose a sense of security. (True story over.)

Cyberbullying is mainly psychological and the threat of violence can be just as damaging as actual violence.

When bullying happens, whether it is cyberbullying or IRL bullying it causes the victim alot of stress. Biologically when you're stressed your body releases chemicals (to help the stress do it's thing), and when you're stressed for a long time these chemicals can affect the way your body does things. So not only are you being subjected to bullying, but the victim is probably feeling tired, rundown and pretty icky (scientific word, yo). These feelings inthemselves can make people feel sad and depressed, so dealing with these feelings within yourself and then being bullied... Well it can just make you feel worse.

Havoc, you used to be so sweet. I don't remember this "man up" attitude when I was being bullied at school.

- Rexy

1PlayerD · #**108** 05-04-2011, 07:01 PM

I have never truly been cyberbullied/bullied (IRL), and if someone attempted it I just find a way to ruin them. (Cause I am evil like that :P ) Because I don't like people who attempt to bother me simply because I must stay on task of many things. During my elementary year of school I was bullied 2nd grade to 3rd/4th. But it just faded away after 4th grade. But that was many years ago, now I am a quiet person and have no true reason to bully or be bullied.
Iv noticed nowa days bullies use sexualities to bully people. Its ridiculous on how people seem to bully others now, first is just a general beat down then telling everyone their a sexuality their not then beating them down.
I really don't see how most of the new ways of bullying starts.

MeechMunchie · #**109** 05-05-2011, 01:22 PM

The worst thing is that jocks are getting smarter. We nerds used to be able to baffle them with our devious ways, but now you just get a carefully caculated insult in response.

Wings of Fire · #**110** 05-05-2011, 01:43 PM

Damn that Flynn effect!

MrGothmog666 · #**111** 05-05-2011, 03:02 PM

Sorry but I don't see why any normal person would commit suicide just because they got trolled.

Wings of Fire · #**112** 05-05-2011, 03:10 PM

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Sorry but I don't see why any normal person would commit suicide just because they got trolled.

My mother told me that if any sentence begins with 'Sorry but' you can basically write off the rest as bullshit.

She was right.

MrGothmog666 · #**113** 05-05-2011, 03:14 PM

Wow, some people are really full of sensitive shit.
Really, do you think that just because you got trolled your whole life is over? That just because one small group of people doesn't accept you you have to go kill yourself instead of trying something you or even attempting to rectify your situation? I don't see why anyone, unless they were already depressed for some other reason/hated life would kill themselves for a fucking stupid reason like that.

Wings of Fire · #**114** 05-05-2011, 03:17 PM

Okay now I know you're not a troll and just an ignorant idiot I'll respond properly.

Cyber bullying is not trolling. Cyber bullying is where people that bully you offline invade your privacy online. It's completely fucking different.

And yeah I am sensitive about bully issues, being both a former bully victim myself and a psychologist in training. I frankly take offense at that level of ignorance.

Manco · #**115** 05-05-2011, 03:18 PM

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Wow, some people are really full of sensitive shit.

Wow, some people are really full of insensitive, condescending bullshit.

MrGothmog666 · #**116** 05-05-2011, 03:20 PM

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Okay now I know you're not a troll and just an ignorant idiot I'll respond properly.

Cyber bullying is not trolling. Cyber bullying is where people that bully you offline invade your privacy online. It's completely fucking different.

And yeah I am sensitive about bully issues, being both a former bully victim myself and a psychologist in training. I frankly take offense at that level of ignorance.

There can be multiple definitions of cyberbullying and I addressed both trolling and your definition in my post.

Manco · #**117** 05-05-2011, 03:25 PM

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Really, do you think that just because you got trolled your whole life is over? That just because one small group of people doesn't accept you you have to go kill yourself instead of trying something you or even attempting to rectify your situation? I don't see why anyone, unless they were already depressed for some other reason/hated life would kill themselves for a fucking stupid reason like that.

Okay, so have you read the thread or did you just skip to the last page to shit out your opinion?

MrGothmog666 · #**118** 05-05-2011, 03:39 PM

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Okay, so have you read the thread or did you just skip to the last page to shit out your opinion?

Is it really fucking necessary to read 4 pages of walls of text to post in this thread? According to the first post, this topic is for posting "what you think about cyberbullying". So yes, I can, if I want to, just skip to the last page to shit out my opinion.

hedjeroo · #**119** 05-05-2011, 04:03 PM

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Is it really fucking necessary to read 4 pages of walls of text to post in this thread?

It's preferable, yes. That's sort of the point of a forum.

Trolling is not cyberbullying. Most trolls do not know their "targets", for want of a better word, offline, and don't tend to troll out of malice. At least, as far as I'm aware.

Manco · #**120** 05-05-2011, 04:13 PM

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Is it really fucking necessary to read 4 pages of walls of text to post in this thread? According to the first post, this topic is for posting "what you think about cyberbullying". So yes, I can, if I want to, just skip to the last page to shit out my opinion.

Well considering

a) The point of a forum thread is to discuss a topic

and

b) several of those walls of text explain why your opinion is shitty

I'd say it's necessary.