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  #31  
02-24-2010, 07:46 PM
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Whew! I'm glad I caught up before you posted the final chapter. This is a great story and I can't wait for the end. Actually, I can - very well done, Shaman.
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  #32  
03-07-2010, 01:36 PM
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10) The Ninth Chieftain.

Uther was bleeding. He had been knocked out by another mudokon just as Toko had knifed him. There was a thin, deep cut on his torso and his vision was blurred. He could hear the rumbling of the distant airship engines and the chanting of the priests around him, He could see Toko, in the middle of the room, with Murphy and Ianto nursing the wounds on their arms.

Slowly, Uther came to. He stood up and staggered toward Toko, his hand clutching his wound. It wouldn’t be hard, all the other mudokons in the room were chanting, and besides, Toko was old. Uther could easily kill him whilst he wasn’t looking.
Uther was fading in and out. But he managed to slide the stone knife out of Toko’s belt. And raise it above his head.

“NO!” The Weirdo’s shouted in unison.

Toko whipped round, Uther felt an invisible force punch him in the chest and force him backwards into the wall. Toko stood in front of him holding a tiny bowl containing a few drops of blood from Ianto, Murphy and Uther.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a fight coming from outside the dome. Marley, Jimmy and Tony came rushing in, out of breath and holding spoocebows.
“Toko!” Marley shouted. “It’s over, drop it”.

Toko looked up and turned around to face Marley. He was pale, striving forwards despite the obvious fear in his heart.

“Hands up!” Tony shouted.

The priests around the room were still chanting, Toko raised his hands above his head. Still clutching the bowl of blood.

“Drop it Toko”. Jimmy ordered. “Then, instead of this shit; you’ll go down to the city and tell them to evacuate before the sligs get here.

Toko stared at Marley wide eyed. Unable to accept this, he looked like a curious child. The weirdoes watched intently in the background. Then a wide smile once again formed across his face.

“No Marley”. Toko laughed. “The Old Kingdom will be saved, and when they write about this war they will say that it was ME THAT DID IT”!

And with that, Toko threw the bowl onto the statue. Where it burst into flame. The whole statue was engulfed in white – hot flame. Uther stared in horror as the statues surface began to bubble and writhe, as if shedding its skin.

“NO!” Marley screamed. “Toko what have you done!? He’ll kill us all”.

“Holy shit it’s real?!” Tony shouted, about to faint.

The weirdo’s were ecstatic. “The curse is lifting”! They all shouted. “The curse is lifting!”

All the priests broke chant and stood in their circles. The room grew cold, freezing cold. The only sound was of the distant airships. Murphy and Ianto were backed up against the temple wall, and Toko stood triumphant in the centre.

There was a gentle sizzling noise and the statue’s surface turned to steam, forming itself; twisting and turning, sliding around the hunched figure sitting on the plinth.
Shrouded in a thick black smoke which seemed to revolve around it, the outline of a mudokon. His features were invisible, only the shadow of a creature shrouded in black smoke, with great burning red eyes. A terrifying noise was erupting from the plinth, sounding like the chant of a million mudokons. And the figure itself gave of the very essence of brutality. Of warfare, of the lust for power and the will to wage battle.

The Ninth Chieftain had returned.

He had been imprisoned in the statue. For Five Thousand Years the Ninth Chieftain’s soul had resided inside this stone Ghost – lock. The Weirdo’s trying their hardest to never allow him to be released. Knowing he would arise as terror incarnate, an unholy warmonger with the strength of ages and the might of invincibility.

But, ironically, now The Old Kingdom needed him.

The weirdo’s seemed almost mortal in the presence of such a being. They hung there in silence, staring at their former ancient ally. The priests were hushed and diminished and Ianto and Murphy had retreated to the edge of the room to join Uther.

Toko stared unable to move at what he had unleashed, the red eyes lying motionless a few feet from his face. The Ninth Chieftain existed as a cloud of smoke and light, unable to take physical form and totally without a fleshy body. But Toko knew that his soul had lost none of its power.

Then slowly, easily, without any hesitation, Toko’s world ground to a halt And he was wrapped in the velvet brilliance of the creature he had unleashed. Through the silence the Ninth Chieftain’s mind touched his own and spoke. A slow, deep voice not unlike that of the weirdos.

“Your name?”

Toko shook with fear, he couldn’t see a thing.

“Tell me your name.” The entity said.

“Toko” Toko replied through thought. Fear was welling up inside him but he was rooted to the spot.

“Why, Toko, do you release me now?” The Ninth Chieftain asked “ Your mind tells me it has been five thousand years since my treasonous brothers banished me into stone,
Why does the Old Kingdom have need of me now?”

Toko was weeping with terror. “ Please!” He shouted into the dark. “A shrykull is our only hope! We are at war! Only you can save us!”

A roar of unnatural laughter split through Toko’s head. “ I had to look out the window to make sure you weren’t senile mortal, you have fallen so far you must release me to help you fight mechanical birds?”

Before Toko could speak, a raging fear cut through him. He had telepathically seen the Ninth Chieftain’s plan. He was paralyzed with fear, at the last moment he realised what he had done.

“Ah yes Toko” The Ninth Cheitain laughed. “ I have no intention of destroying your enemies. This Kingdom is Broken, diminished. But the Industrialists are strong. They are the army I crave! And now the only thing remaining is you, you are the only one capable of raising a Shykull, and after Five Thousand years, i will not let you destroy the grandest army i have ever seen, not before I have a chance to take command.”

Toko shouted aloud. “No! Not after all I’ve done please!”

The Ninth Cheiftan spoke one more time.


“Goodbye, Toko”

There was a blinding flash and Toko crumpled, he felt the Ninth Cheiftain’s mind leave him. And an unknown energy tear through him.

The Ninth Cheiftain had escaped and ws now speeding as a cloud of shining black smoke towards the industrialist ships.

Murphy, Uther and Ianto ran over to Toko, who lay bleeding on the ground.
Marley shoved everyone else out of the way. “ Toko!”
Toko’s vision was fading. Marley was crouched over him. With the others watching in horror.

“Why didn’t you listen to me!?” Marley hissed.

“L-listen Marley” Toko wheezed. “The Ninth Chieftain has gone over to the industrialists. He will try to use their army to bring about the greatest war ever seen ... i have to stop him!”

Marley shook his head. “There isn’t anything we can do!”

Toko rolled his head to look at his wrists. A scar on the back of each hand, in the shape of a paramite and a scrab Were clearly cut into his flesh.
Marley knew what Toko had in mind.

“You don’t have the strength”

Toko nodded. “I’ve lived long enough.”

The scars began to glow, and Toko’s body was engulfed in white light. He rose from the blood - covered temple floor. And higher and higher out of the hole in the ceiling.
There was a blinding flash and a mighty roar split the air in two. Toko transformed into a shrykull. A wave of crackling light lit up the night sky and the power of a caged God descended on the industrialist ships. The world stopped, and everyone was blinded by the light, and deafened by the roar of the most powerful creature on Oddworld. With no ceremony or hesitation, Toko dropped limp from the sky and onto the temple floor. Where the others crowded around him shouting his name.

Toko’s last sight was the industrialist fleet falling from the sky like a billion fiery hailstones of shattered hulls and twisted metal. He smiled ans closed his eyes as tear of happiness fell down one side of his old face.

Marley stood up. Toko was dead. He had sacrificed himself so that the Ninth Cheiftain would not find allies and to save The Old Kingdom From Annihilation. But that still meant that the Ninth Cheiftain was free. They hadn’t been quick enough, they may have saved The Old Kingdom. But released an invincible mudokon death spirit onto Oddworld.
Marley walked over to the window, to watch the last of the Glukkon’s ships falling from the sky.

Ten years passed. The Capital was rebuilt, and The Old Kingdom began to recover. The sligs had vanished after their fleet had been destroyed. And for the first time in a long time, Peace resumed. There were no more tales of dark whispering shadows in the jungles, no more fire lighting up the sky. It was as it had been before. And no one, no one on Oddworld knew that it all came down to a few of the most typical creatures The Old Kingdom had to offer.

Marley had kept his word. He fled The Old Kingdom the following night to go back to the old days fighting the Cartel. He was after all nearly twenty eight, and didn’t have the stomach to go chasing otherworldly beings. Not when there were still natives to be rescued, Glukkons to depose and sligs to outrun and outwit.
The rest of them had taken Toko’s advice and started looking for the monster they had unleashed. Of course they needed funding along the way. And there was only one way to get that in this part of the world.

By being bandits.

It was midnight. Ianto was staring at a tattered old map on the deck of the airship. An empty bottle of soulstorm brew and some lung buster cigarette butts sat next to him. And as he studied the map, the gentle movement of the airship and the thin air above the clouds was putting him to sleep.

“Tired?”

Ianto spun round. Murphy was at the doorway into the vessel. Along with Charlie, a grub that owned the airship and fancied a bit of action “You’ll catch your death out here on the deck Ianto. Anyways Uther told me to tell you there’s another airship close by, it’s definitely a Glockstar.”

“They’ll easily have ten thousand moolah on board” Ianto replied... “Alright, let’s get
going then. Ten thousand’s not bad I suppose”.
Murphy laughed. “Some times I think you care more about the moolah than you do finding the Chieftain”.
Charlie cut in. “Ianto, I’m glad we’ve finally got a chance to get some honest theft in, but I’ve heard you guys talking about looking for this “chieftain guy” ever since we started travelling together. I hope you don’t mind my asking, but ... who is he? Who are we looking for”?

Ianto and Murphy exchanged funny looks, and Ianto touched the scar on his arm.

“Charlie ... you wouldn’t believe us in a million years”...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The view from the top of the temple was tremendous. Dying had done nothing to stop Toko’s appreciation for scenery.
Bing a weirdo was a very peculiar situation, Toko found himself with a variety of odd abilities. He had used the Weirdo’s power all his life, and now he himself was at the beck and call of the new high preist and the priests who hadn’t yet died.
Death, it seemed, had a sense of humour.

Toko was perched on the very tip top of the temple, just above the room he had died in a decade ago. He looked at his blue – glowing hands and could see transparent veins through which no blood flowed. Say what you like, but nobody could tell him he hadn’t given it his all and won. Toko gave a breathless sigh; the smoke from the crashed airships had long since gone, making it easy to see the last glimpse of sunlight fall into obscurity.

Leaving The Old Kingdom and its protectors once again shrouded in darkness.

The End.

The Author would like to thank the inhabitants of The Old Kingdom for their gracious cooperation in the writing of this fanfic.

-And don't even think about seeing the sequal for a little while

-Shaman
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  #33  
03-08-2010, 03:50 PM
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Nice ending. A little sudden, but at least there's going to be a sequel. YAY STORY, and even more YAY SEQUEL!!!!
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  #34  
03-10-2010, 02:17 PM
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I've decided not to waste a good thread, so i would like to hear suggestions for the sequal. Any ideas you have, i want to hear about them.

Go crazy.
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  #35  
03-10-2010, 02:44 PM
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The Vamps attack (you know, the catlike guys from Stranger's Wrath). The Vamps don't rely on magic, like the Mudokons, or the bullet weapons employed by the Sligs. Instead, they use weapons with power generated by Klot energy, a mysterious force that provides them with nearly unlimited energy. They can use Klot blasters to warp people's anatomy, turning them into plants. The Vamps see no use for the Mudokons and Steef, but the Sligs and Glukkons they see as potential servants. The Sligs and Glukkons eagerly ally with the Vamps against the Mudokons.

The Mudokon and Steef resistance is led by Murphy and Ianto, using mainly native weapons to little use against the Vamps.

Marley and his assistant Tony are the heads of a bandit organization who prey off of everyone; trying to stay neutral, they offer their services to both sides, loyal to neither. Both sides find them useful and irritating, depending who they're working for.

The Vamp leader, Vantoris, is a brilliant, ever-calm military leader who intends to destroy the Mudokons and make the Sligs/Glukkons his slaves, though the Sligs/Glukkons do not know this. Vantoris finds the Mudokon/Steef alliance an irritation, but they evade him at every turn. Some of them even sacrifice themselves by turning into small Shrykulls, and dealing a lot of damage to his Vamps.

Vantoris finds aid when he meets the Ninth Chieftain, whom he recruits into the Vamp forces with promises of glory. Vantoris tells the Ninth Chieftain that, as second-in-command of the Vamp army, he will gain great rewards. If the Ninth Chieftain will help Vantoris destroy the Mudokons and Steef, Vantoris says he will spare all the shamans and give them to the Ninth Chieftain, so the Ninth Chieftain can use them as his personal servants and teach the ways of darkness. Though he feels enraged at being made second to Vantoris, the moody Ninth Chieftain agrees.

Murphy and Ianto have to destroy the Ninth Chieftain and the Vamps, but how? Also, treachery from some of the higher Glukkons threatens to deal damage to both Vamps and resistance.

Does this idea sound any good?
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  #36  
03-11-2010, 12:45 AM
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Brilliant! Shaman, I enjoyed that very much. Thanks for writing such a great story!

As for the sequel, I'd say that I have no idea :S
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  #37  
03-11-2010, 10:45 AM
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:

Vantoris finds aid when he meets the Ninth Chieftain, whom he recruits into the Vamp forces with promises of glory. Vantoris tells the Ninth Chieftain that, as second-in-command of the Vamp army, he will gain great rewards. If the Ninth Chieftain will help Vantoris destroy the Mudokons and Steef, Vantoris says he will spare all the shamans and give them to the Ninth Chieftain, so the Ninth Chieftain can use them as his personal servants and teach the ways of darkness. Though he feels enraged at being made second to Vantoris, the moody Ninth Chieftain agrees.

Murphy and Ianto have to destroy the Ninth Chieftain and the Vamps, but how? Also, treachery from some of the higher Glukkons threatens to deal damage to both Vamps and resistance.


Does this idea sound any good?
With your permission, i would like to adapt this for the sequal.


Also, i may or may not write another fanfic before starting the sequal to this, so just in case you want to know the possible sequal's name:

Old Kingdom, Tree of Life.
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Last edited by shaman; 03-11-2010 at 10:48 AM..
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  #38  
03-11-2010, 11:15 AM
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So you actually like this idea? Whoa. I have absolutely no problem with it. Go ahead and use it (preferably soon, since I like this series a lot.)
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