Dubious Ones - A More-than-One-Shot Story

AlexFili · #1 09-25-2009, 02:30 PM

EDIT: No longer a one-shot, will now become a full story.

= Prologue =

Two totally different people are about to be united in the most unimaginable way. As workers of the Shifty Mining Corp finish off their shift, a terrible accident happens which wrecks the entire facility. As the elevator is out of action, the entire staff are stuck down there. The only exit would be from the emergency stairs, but would anyone be able to reach them?

= Part One =

The Slig opens its eyes. The amount of dust in the air is unbelievable. It had to keep wiping its mask to make sure that the visor stayed clean. First things first, better check for survivors. The lonely Slig stood up, checking to see if the flooring was stable. Most of the flooring sections were intact. It proceeded to walk towards the doorway. This leads to the main hall, where there were more fallen pipes and debris.

The Slig turned, it could hear muffled moaning. It rushed over to see a Mudokon struggling under some debris. The Mudokon was gasping for air, "Please help me". While some Sligs would have taken a long time to think about whether or not to save a Mudokon, this Slig was not one of them. It reached out, trying to help the Mudokon out of the rubble. Within a few minutes, the Mudokon was free and breathing normally.

The Mudokon turned to face the Slig, "My name is Rena". The Slig wrinkled it's tentacles in a smile, "I'm Neif". Neif held out its hand, as Rena shook it. Rena smiled back, but then heard more muffled cries from across the hallway. Neif followed Rena closely behind. Neif ducked down under some rubble to see a Mudokon stuck down a ledge.

Neif leaned over the side, "Need some help?". The Mudokon nodded. Neif looked towards Rena, "Rena, grab my hand". Rena grabbed Neif's hand as Neif lowered its body downwards, allowing the Mudokon to reach Neif's mechanical pants leg and get a firm grip. Neif and Rena gave a mighty heave and the Mudokon clambered up the hole and was free.

The Mudokon coughed and then looked towards its saviours. "Thanks Rena", he looked towards the Slig, not knowing who that was. Neif thought it might as well be friendly, "I'm Neif". The Mudokon timidly shook the Slig's hand. "I'm Ali". The Mudokon smiled.

Neif looked around, this place didn't look very safe. "Come on, let's get out of this place". Neif led the way, trying to find the exit to the next floor.

= Thanks =
Neifaren - For helping me choose a name for this story and characters

MA · #2 09-25-2009, 02:52 PM

got me hooked. you cant stop now!

Oddey · #3 09-25-2009, 11:37 PM

The end, kind of ruins it.

Everything else is typical of your stories.

scipionyx · #4 09-26-2009, 08:36 AM

whahahaha lol you took neifaren's name

cool idea though i just don't understand why you end it like that... it could have become a real great story with many more chapters! Well but I still like the beginning very much

AlexFili · #5 09-26-2009, 10:38 AM

I asked for it! I didn't "take" it! lol

Well it looks like it won't be "THE END" after all.
Prepare for Chapter 2 then

Edit: Thanks to the admin who changed the topic title. I would like to offer my gratitude, if you would care to reveal your name

scipionyx · #6 10-01-2009, 10:05 AM

yay cool!

so you're writing the second chapter? thats great!

AlexFili · #7 10-01-2009, 10:15 AM

Yeah, I'm making more. Not sure how many though.

= Part Two =

Neif sighed, it was struggling to find the exit to the next floor. Dust had scattered all over the floor and there were large pillars which had fallen and blocked access.

"Neif", Ali said, "I can get through one of the pillars with a drill... it should be around here somewhere". Ali started feeling the walls, trying to find his way to where the tool rack was. Neif smiled, "Well okay, but don't destroy all of the pillars... it might make this place even more unstable than it already is!". Ali nodded.

Neif sighed, “Come on Rena, let’s try and find out about those other floors”. Rena walked to the map screen, placing its palm in the map system. Rena looked around, “We have two on the floor above us, and four on the floor above that”. Neif nodded, “Okay, let’s see if we can save them”. Ali had retrieved the drill, and was now making its way through the pillar blocking the exit. Within a few minutes, Ali had finished its work. Rena smiled, “Okay, let’s get off this floor!”.

Neif walks up the stairs and saw some meat-saws going haywire. “I gotta shut those down, wait here”. Neif did a roll under one of the meat saws and side-stepped another. It reached the switch and then pulled the lever, stopping the saws. Rena was so shocked to see a Slig risk their own life to save the Mudokon workforce. Rena had to hold back a teardrop in its eye.

Neif waved them over. As the Mudokons ran over, Neif was examining the LED screen. “We can use the mine carts to get to the next level. Everyone ready?”. Rena and Ali nodded, as they stepped forward. Each of them went into a separate mine cart. They started moving upwards, heading for the higher floor.

As the mine cart rattled upwards, the dust from the carts blew away into the dark canyon-like crevice below. Neif placed its hand on a horn, as they neared the station bays for the carts. They hit the breaks and all three of them stepped out. Neif sniffed the air, “Darn, there’s a fire!”.

Oddey · #8 10-02-2009, 08:10 AM

Speechless... Because I have no idea what to say about this chapter. "Go on" is about all that I have.

scipionyx · #9 10-02-2009, 09:53 AM

... I have to catch up with so many fanfictions xD

this chapter reminds me a lot of the first two games... ^-^ especially AE

great ^^

AlexFili · #10 10-04-2009, 02:23 AM

I definately wanted to channel that AO/AE vibe. I wanted to return back to the gender neutral characters as well, so that I could have a story which fits in with the official canon.

= Part Three =

The fire seemed to be quite fierce. There were clouds of thick black smoke coming from the east side of the tunnel. The smell was really overpowering, the survivors placed their hands on their faces. Neif took charge, “Rena, see if you can turn on the sprinkler system… it should be a wheel that you can turn”. Rena nodded, “Right”.

Neif turned to Ali, “You wait here, I’ll bring the survivors here so we can treat them”. Ali nodded. Neif ran into the smoke, covering its tentacle snout. Neif used her infrared sensors to detect the survivors. The Slig dragged both of the Mudokons as quickly as it could (they were only skinny so it wasn’t that hard).

Ali and Neif both tried to revive the Mudokons which had now been brought out of the smoke. The Mudokons coughed and were awake within a few short minutes. Rena had found the waterwheel and activated the sprinklers. There was a nervous wait while the fire was extinguished. Neif and Ali were talking to the revived Mudokons and giving them some information about what had happened so far.

Rena came back with some first-aid packs which it had found nearby. Rena felt like a medic handing out all these plasters and injectors. Neif kept a few packs for later, just in case. Neif was getting pretty nervous now and was hoping to go up to the next floor and help its Slig friends. The fire was almost completely out now, so they could move onto the next floor above.

Neif could see one of the hand-operated lifts, “Let’s get to that one!”. The Mudokons followed the Slig onto the platform, and then started pulling on the ropes to move upwards. Neif hoped that everyone else was going to be okay, it had been at least a few hours since the Slig went up to the top floors.

Oddey · #11 10-05-2009, 09:52 AM

I love a good cliffhanger.

AlexFili · #12 02-12-2010, 12:36 AM

I'm really sorry everyone, I didn't mean to leave the next part so late. Hope you haven't all passed out from anticipation!

= Part Four =

Neif was pretty heavy, as a Slig. The Slig grabbed hold of the rope and helped out as best as it could. When they reached the top of the elevator shaft, the elevator platform was locked and the occupants walked out.

Neif could immediately hear the cries of help from another Slig. “Come on, let’s go and help” The Slig was surrounded by haywire drills... it would be suicide to enter that dangerous zone. "Just wait there!” Neif shouted. The Slig nodded and remained where they were.

Ali and Rena frantically looked around for the switch. Rena managed to find it... it ran towards the closest lever before pulling it. As soon as the lever was pulled the drills stopped and the other Slig was free. "Thank you for saving me", it said. The Slig hugged Neif. Neif helped the Slig to calm down before they moved onwards. Neif smiled, "Who are you?" The Slig smiled back, "I'm Yatt"

They heard a yell from nearby. The two Sligs and two Mudokons turned around the corner. They saw a snoozer and a Slig in very close proximity. "HELP!” the Slig yelled. Neif and Yatt smiled before whipping out their guns and shooting the snoozer. The snoozer exploded as it was pushed back and forced into the wall. The other Slig was on the floor... the Slig lifted himself and walked towards the group. "I'm Idi. Thank you for saving me", it said. Neif smiled, "It was no trouble, now let us take the staircase upwards to the fifth floor"

The Sligs were happy because they were now all reunited. The Mudokons were happy to see all the Sligs reunited, but felt somewhat nervous at the same time. There were now three Sligs and only two Mudokons. Mudokons were always uncomfortable when outnumbered by Sligs.

AlexFili · #13 02-12-2010, 12:50 AM

I might as well finish this before I forget about it again. The final chapter;

= Part Five =

The group was now getting close to the surface, a few more steps and they would be free... but there was a problem. The group walked a few steps before taking a few sniffs of the air. Yatt groaned, "It is the mine gas, no use..." Idi turned around, "There should be a valve to turn the gas off. I'll try and find it"

Neif looked around, "I think you're right, come on let's go and find the gas. You two should wait here", it looked back at the Mudokons before looking for the gas valve.

Yatt found the valve. It tries to turn the valve but it's really old and rusty. Yatt tries harder and manages to turn the valve, shutting off the gas and allowing the group to move forward. Rena looked at the Sligs, "Hey... what happened to Letibee?" The Sligs looked around, they had not seen the Glukkon since the incident. Neif shrugged and said, "I don't know"

The group reached the surface level. Ali and Idi headed for the control panel. Ali looked at Idi, "We'd better switch off the electrics and the power generator before it overheats" Idi nodded and helped Ali with the dual-lock system. As the electrics successfully turned off, the group gave a big sigh of relief.

They waited for a few hours outside, but Letibee was nowhere in sight. Yatt stood up and faced the group. "It looks like we have no Glukkon in charge anymore... I think this means, we're in charge now" Ali and Rena looked very excited and were smiling. The Sligs turned to face them and the Mudokons were frightened. Neif reassured them, "We aren't just guards anymore... we're, friends" Neif held out its' hand. Ali grabbed it and shook hands.

An interesting union took place. Sligs and Mudokons working in harmony, in charge of a facility. Perhaps this is the start of a glorious new age.

Sligs and Mudokons united together in peace and harmony

Lord Stanley · #14 02-12-2010, 02:06 AM

An interesting end to an interesting story, which is also interestingly short. I think it needs to be longer...maybe they could run into some more challenges. It basically felt as if it were leading up to some huge, dramatic climax that just wasn't there.

AlexFili · #15 02-12-2010, 02:35 AM

Well, it was just meant to be a short story about Sligs and Mudokons working together. It was never intended to be anything close to the length of Abe's Oddysee. However this story has granted me with two things. Firstly, it gives me an interesting place to continue a fanfic sometime in the future. Secondly, it gives me a good idea for a kind of factory management game.

You might see either of them by the end of this year