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  #1  
12-30-2001, 04:20 AM
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Sayings

Pick one famous saying that you think describes you the best or one that you just like. Mine would be

"I can imagine a world without war a world without hate and I can imagine us attacking that world because they would never expect it."
By Jack Handey.

or this one "I wish I had a cross made out a Kryptonite so I can keep away vampires and Superman!"
By Jack Handey.

Jack Handey kicks ASS!!!

[ December 30, 2001: Message edited by: Roop ]
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"I can imagine a world without war a world without hate and I can imagine us attacking that world because they would never expect it."
By Jack Handey

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  #2  
12-30-2001, 05:39 AM
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Favourite saying is:

How do you prove that we exist...maybe we don't
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  #3  
12-30-2001, 06:31 AM
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I like this one:
The Value of life lies not in the length of days,but in how we make use of them. ~Montaigne.
I found it in a Garfield Book.
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The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -- Jack Handy
That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Famous Last Words

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  #4  
12-30-2001, 09:10 AM
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I like this one:

"Since you never gave a damn in the first place maybe it's time you had the tables turned cuz in the interest of all involved I got the problem solved and the verdict is guilty.

It's (Sic)
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  #5  
12-30-2001, 11:45 AM
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"Be not afraid of Life, believe that your life is worth living, and the Belief will help to create the Fact." ~~ By some bloke called James; I got this from the same Garfield book that Abe22 got his from...

"If I could do one thing with the world, I'd turn the entire human race into empaths. Make everybody feel everyone's pain. If we could all truly empathize with each other, there would be an immediate end to most human misery. Famines would stop as rich countries fall over themselves to send aid..." ~~ I don't know who wrote this one.

The Great Steven Wright had some funny ones:

"I went to a restaurant that said it served 'Breakfast any time!' So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance..."

"When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the back yard. Eventually I was an only child..."

"I have a dog. His name's Stay. It was great when he was a puppy; I could sit there all day saying 'Here, Stay! Here, Stay!'"

"Last time I went to the movies I got thrown out for bringing my own food. My argument was the Concession Stand prices are outrageous! Besides, I haven't had a Barbecue in a long while..."

"One time I went to the Drive-in in a Cab... That movie cost me ninety-five dollars..."

"If you were in a vehicle and you were travelling at the speed of light, then you turned your lights on, would they do anything?"

"Last time I went to Vegas I got into a furious argument at the Roulette Table over what I considered to be an odd number..."

"I bought some Dehydrated Water but I don't know what to add..."

"I was once walking alone in a forest and a tree fell right in front of me and it didn't make a sound..."


[ December 30, 2001: Message edited by: Rettick ]
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  #6  
12-30-2001, 12:09 PM
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I'm getting too old for this shit.

Speaking of Steven Wright, I loved the one that went something like:

"I pulled up to a convenience store; the sign said 'Open 24 hours.' I went to the front door and the manager was locking up the place. I said 'I thought you were open 24 hours.' The manager said 'not in a row!'
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  #7  
12-30-2001, 04:53 PM
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I bought a phone, but I didn't have much money, so I had to get an irregular phone. It had no five on it...
I was walking down the street and I bumped into a good friend of mine, he said "Why don't you call me any more?"
I said "I can't call everyone I want, my phone has no five on it!"
He said "That's kinda weird. How long have you had it?"
I said "I don't know, my calendar has no sevens..."


I've never before met anyone who's heard of Steven Wright, except for the person who introduced me to his hilariousness...
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  #8  
12-30-2001, 05:09 PM
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almost any saying from the hitchhikers trilogy. example: if theres anything here more important than my ego I want it caught and shot now.
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  #9  
12-30-2001, 05:12 PM
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almost any saying from the hitchhikers trilogy. example: if theres anything here more important than my ego I want it caught and shot now.
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  #10  
12-30-2001, 10:42 PM
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:
Originally posted by Rettick:
I got this from the same Garfield book that Abe22 got his from...
Well last time I checked I was a girl and I still am.
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The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -- Jack Handy
That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Famous Last Words

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  #11  
12-30-2001, 10:51 PM
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dont worry Abe22...its a common mistake here.

Anyway...peeps have heard me say this a few times:

To each their own.

I don't remember where I got it from.
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  #12  
01-01-2002, 06:46 AM
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I also like this one:

"I can do that I just don't wanna."

I don't know who thought that up but I heard it off Simpsons.
__________________
The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -- Jack Handy
That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Famous Last Words

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  #13  
01-01-2002, 12:58 PM
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Describes me:
"I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose." - Clarence Darrow

"think for yourself, question authority" Dr Timothy Leary

"Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?" - Jules Feiffer


I like:
"By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear I am not a Hindu." - Apu, The Simpsons

"Make God laugh - plan for the future."

"There once was a time when everyone feared God and the Church reigned supreme... it was called the Dark Ages."

"If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?"

"They think, therefore I am." - God

"The only God I need is the Ace of Spades." - Ace of Spades by somebody


I seem to have a lot of religious-based sayings that I like.
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  #14  
01-01-2002, 04:56 PM
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heres mine

nullmine is " I did nothing all day and it was everything I thought it could be" Peter Gibbons -- Office Space.

EDIT: heres another one off the movie "Goonies"

you know, you look kinda good if your face wasnt screwing it up

[ January 01, 2002: Message edited by: General Grakkus ]
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  #15  
01-01-2002, 09:04 PM
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For some reason I like
Life's a Bitch... So Deal with it.
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