My Life is a Wacky Sitcom

[Nate]

So... tell us about a time that you put your foot in your mouth or did something well-meaning but absolutely foolish that bounced back in your face. Or, alternatively, a situation where things could have gone horribly wrong but you rectified it at the last minute.

On Tuesday, I was asked to take an envelope full of cheques and pop it in to the deposit slot at the bank. Only thing was, I didn't know where the bank was, so I had already walked past it before I spotted it. I considered going on to the gym and dealing with it on the way back to the office but I could see that I was risking a horrible sitcom incident (or perhaps the plot of Burn After Reading) where I would leave the envelope in the locker, have it stolen and end up looking very stupid in front of my workmates, not to mention potentially being fired. So I played it safe and backtracked to the bank first.

On the other hand, today I was very stupid indeed. Every second thursday one department puts on a lunch. The receptionist put a note in my calendar telling me that my department was due to put it on. I'm the only one in my department with a Windows computer, so I was the only one who received it. I told my workmates about it and one of them put in a huge amount of effort to put it together... only to find out that we were actually meant to do it in late November! The receptionist had just been putting in the next couple of month's notices in the calendars and I hadn't looked close enough. So me = stupid indeed.

[OddjobAbe]

My Uncle Austin has recently died, and when I was driving him to his funeral. Now, there's a gate at the top of a hill that needs opening on the way out of where I live, and when I got out to open it, I forgot to put the handbrake on, so the car went rolling down the hill. It crashed into my brother's new car (it was parked at the side of the bottom of the hill), and as the car I was using wasn't mine, I had to pay for a replacement. The corpse got there in one piece eventually.

That day was hell, but now the funeral's over, looking back it's pretty damn funny (and quite ironic - I was having a go at my wife the other day for leaving the handbrake off). Really, I'm not quite as bad a driver as I sound.

[Laser]

I explained to a rather attractive Girl I sat next to today what a "Bucket Vagina" meant...

Many LoLs were to be had

[Wil]

I fancy my housemate. How’s that for shitting on your doorstep? Fantastic sitcom potential. Also I had a string of timetable misunderstandings today that I found irritating, but you will not find interesting. But they could be adapted to the Small Screen funnies.

[Leto]

I frequently feel like my life is an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Me and my sister were walking/talking/joking very loudly in the crowded mall, and I shouted at her "YOU'RE WALKING SO FUCKING SLOWLY" and a lady in front of us turned around very angrily, and said "I'M PREGNANT!"

many, many awkward lols were had.

I get so many of these kinds of things, I'm an awkward magnet

[Pilot]

Okay okay, I've got one.

There's this really good looking guy downtown who works at the local automotive radiator/air conditioning shop named Tim. Last Spring I was there delivering one of my dad's project vehicles to have the air conditioning charged up and Tim had given me a very quick 'once over' and wink, which caught me completely off guard. I was so caught off guard I didn't actually respond back in any way before he plunged under the hood of my dad's truck.

So weeks go by and having project vehicles of my own I start taking various radiators down to the shop to have Tim check em out. For a while, I was showing up every couple of days with another 'junk' radiator just to have him check. Okay, so every time I'm there we talk and he drops these little 'hints' (or so I interpreted them, plus he just acts gay....)

I continue bringing in radiators and heater cores for him to check... not without reason really, as I REALLY did need these things checked by him, even though it turned out that more than half the 40-50 year old radiators I brought him were pure crap hehe.... After a couple months, I took one of my cars in to have the engine and cooling system flushed out as I was taking it on a long trip and asked him to give it another 'once over'.... the only issue was that it was my only running car and I needed something to get back to my shop and to go out on calls with, so he lent me his little truck to drive around all day while he checked my cooling system. So later that day I show up to return his truck and I get out.... his keys in hand and walk into the shop's garage; Tim was in there working on someone's car and there's this lady standing in there next to him. He sees me and seems not to notice me. In front of the lady, I reach out my hand to give him back his keys and say, "Thanks for letting me borrow your ride today." He steps back and pulls his head out from under the car's hood, takes the keys, and promptly introduces me to the lady standing there as his wife.

Fuck!

So what am I supposed to do now? I was there just yesterday after not going by for at least a month (ran out of things for him to check you know). Things were slow and I walked in with a used heater core I needed him to check before I installed it in my car.

I say, "Slow today?"

He comes back, "Yep. You need this checked now?"

I say, "Well yeah if you're not busy otherwise I can come back later"

*trying to remember his response.......* Oh yeah, he says, "Come on back, we'll have a party!"

My eyes widen and I respond, "Sounds fun!"

---------------

So yeah, lots to that but I still wonder? I was standing there inches behind watching him rig up the lines and dunk the heater core into the water 'petrified' solid and dying inside at how cute he was. Just picture about 6 feet high, good muscle tone maybe 185lbs, hair that is bleached and 'punky' looking with lots of very short spikes, and a couple 'faux' chrome spike piercings through his bottom lip. OMG.

I'll say it again. Fuck.

[Nate]

Wife doesn't mean anything. She's probably a beard.

I say go for it! Get him drunk if you need to

I frequently feel like my life is an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Yeah, I should have given that example in my OP. This is about times in your life when you hear the following music in your head:

(Credit to Tony Martin for coming up with that idea)

[Leto]

OH MY GOD Nate, whenever something terribly awkward happens, my head goes "do do do DOODODOODO, DO DO", seriously.

[Wings of Fire]

I just got ambushed in the laundry room by two Russian girls dressed as scantily clad nurses who wanted me to take pictures of them licking each others boobs.

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!

[Facsimile]

Do you still have the pictures?

[Wings of Fire]

No she has.

Time to do some facebook stalking!

[Strike Witch]

I just got ambushed in the laundry room by two Russian girls dressed as scantily clad nurses who wanted me to take pictures of them licking each others boobs.

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!

Did you?