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  #91  
05-01-2008, 05:26 PM
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Moosh da Outlaw
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Wow! It's shocking how better paragraphing looks. I actually read the whole thing without missing anything. And you really do give good details because I could almost see what was happening.
Thankjoo! I try to do my best with the details.

:
Then all the grubbs die, the place explodes, Stranger is Charlotte's father, Sekto is her ma, Mola gets his bucket repossesed, Ophelia is a cheese and I like beans. Carry on.
>:C
Now look what you've done! You've given the whole story away! THANKS A LOT ZOZO! *crawls into emo corner and cries*


-----



Mola was running faster than he’d ever run in his entire life. He was practically galloping, jumping over obstacles like a loaded spring.

“Get ‘im!” An outlaw cried. “He’s gettin’ away!”

Mola slowed down the pace, but not too slow, so that he was still ahead and the outlaws remained convinced that they could catch up. He darted through the opening of the abandoned mine and fumbled in the darkness, searching. When he found what he was looking for (a stick and some flint) he quickly made a little torch and continued onwards, waving the stick in the air so that his pursuers could see it.
“Can’t catch me!” He cried, jumping to the side as an outlaw tried to shoot him. “You’re too slow!”

“Hah!” A shooter mocked, taking aim once again. “Thats the same thing your mom said last night!”

“S-shut up!”

Mola wove through the rocky cavern, panting as he swung around corners and leapt over boulders in his way. After what felt like an hour of running he spotted something wedged between two rocks on the ceiling, barely noticeable; it was an entire crate of dynamite, connected to a tiny string that wove its way through the mine’s floor. Mola grinned and continued running; his job was done. Now all that was left was to detonate the explosives, and he’d be home free.

---

The four seers stared down at Reed in jaw-dropping horror. His eyes were closed, and he was twitching slightly, blood pooling the floor from the hole in his chest. Suddenly Brook broke free of her startled trance and flung herself at Reed’s side.

“Reed! No!” She wailed, tears streaking her face. Cod and Minnow fell to their knees in shock; Beetle was shaking and looking away, unable to watch.

Willie grinned demonically. He could barely keep hold of the rocket launcher between his sweaty fingers, and his left eye had developed a bit of a twitch, blurring his vision.

“Stupid treehuggers!” Willie roared, kicking Cod over. “I’ll send all you little bastards to your graves before anything kills me---”

“BOSS!” A nailer cried, bursting in the room. Willie didn’t even turn. “We gotsa situation outside!”

Willie swung around, looking bitter. “What is it now?

The nailer stiffened slightly. “Its those fish freaks and their steef surrounded the buildin’, boss. There threatenin’ ta kill the rest o’ our men if we don’t get out.”
Snap
Willie scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm. Could be trouble,” he muttered. He marched out the door flanked by five nailers and snarled “You lot, guard them grubbs; we might need em’ for hostages.”

The nailers hauled the elder’s up roughly. Brook was sobbing so bitterly that she didn’t care what they did to her. The shock finally set in, and the remaining grubbs trembled, struggling to hold back tears.

Willie marched up a nearby staircase and into what appeared to be a library, filled with shelves upon shelves of books upon books. Willie didn’t care; he never did take an interest in reading. He pushed aside a set of red velvet curtains and forced open a window, glancing down on the scene below.
He could see his men outside, including Bo, who for some reason had a bag tied over his head and had no idea what was going on. Their weapons were piled up in a corner, useless when out of reach. The battle-hearted grubbs gazed up at the temple through their masks, their eyes dark with ire. Willie frowned.

“OI! You down there!” Willie shouted. The grubb’s heads snapped around, and they fixed him with an icy stare. “What’s going on?”

You!” A female grubb wearing a pink headdress snapped; he guessed that she was the leader. “Get out of our temple immediately! We don’t want your type ‘round here!”

Willie sneered. “My type? What’s that s’posta mean---”

“It means,” Stranger snarled, pushing his way through the crowd. “That you best’ get your ass outta there before we come in there and getcha!”

“We’ll kill your gang!” A grubb added. The rest of the clan cheered in agreement.

Willie snarled. “I wouldn’t do that if I was you,” he chuckled. “Ya seemed to have misplaced yer elderly. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, would ya?”

Ophelia’s face switched from a look of anger to a look of sheer horror. “Don’t you dare!” She shrieked, much to Willie’s amusement. “If you harm a single one of them I swear I’ll break in there and emasculate all of you!

Willie couldn’t think of a better comeback right on the spot. He frowned. “Here’s the deal, you walking salamanders,” he snapped. “We’re gonna come out of this building all calm-like, ya hear? We’ll take yer seniors with us. You let our gang go, we let them go. Try anything and they’ll be fishfood before ya can say ‘chuggler’, getsit?”

Ophelia hated making deals with the enemy, but in her situation, she had no choice. “All right,” she warned. The grubbs surrounding the group of outlaws raised their spears, prepared to kill the hostages if the need be. “We’ll let ya leave. You go to your scum-bag hideout or whatever, and leave us alone, got it?”

Willie allowed himself a smile. A lurid, malevolent smile. “Deal.”

---

Charlotte slowly loaded her rifle, unsure. From her position she could see the temple clearly; it was tall and oddly-shaped, a cross between a retro-style condominium and a linoleum gazebo. “I don’t trust them.” She said bluntly. Stranger scowled.

“They’re outlaws. Your not s’posta trust ‘em.”

“But still.”

The doors swung open. The group tensed, wary, and Willie stepped out. A dozen outlaw nailers followed, four of which held Cod, Beetle, Brook, and Minnow. Willie frowned.

“A deal’s a deal. Lower your weapons an’ let my gang go.”

Ophelia hesitated, uncertain, before finally relenting and ordering “Let the scumbags go.”

The grubbs slowly pulled back their spears, when suddenly Cyren snapped,

“Wait!” He stepped forward from the crowd, still wielding his mighty oak hammer. “Were’s the fifth one?”

Charlotte saw Willie grow pale. He said innocuously, “The... fifth one?”

“The fifth seer,” Ophelia snarled. “Don’t play stupid with us.”

Willie crossed his arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Brook, who was being held in a vicious embrace by one of Willie’s nailers, whimpered, tears pouring down her face. The other elders looked away, ashamed to be mere captives while their friend, practically their fifth piece, was dead.

“Where is he?” Charlotte asked, barely keeping the fury from her voice. Willie snarled;

“There’s four of them, an’ they’ll be a lot less if ya don’t let us go!”

“WHERE IS HE!” The grubbs all called accusingly, jeering and stabbing the air with their spears. Willie broke. He waved the blood-tipped bayonet in the air, pacing back and forth like a caged lion. Insanity flooded his voice as he roared:

“STUPID LITTLE COCKROACHES! He’s DEAD! I KILLED THE LITTLE BASTARD!” He jumped down from the steps, the nailers following obediently. “An’ I don’t care what yer high-and-mighty geezers have to say! I’m not gonna die! I’LL KILL ALL YOU LITTLE SHITS BEFORE I LET THAT HAPPEN!”

Brook wailed in overwhelming sorrow. Beetle struggled, wanting to run over and soothe her pain-filled cries, but the thugs guarding them wouldn’t allow it.

Ophelia’s face fell. “No...”

Willie grinned like a psychopath. “Its true! And you know what I’m gonna do now?” He prodded Minnow with an accusing finger. “I’m gonna gut these little geezers, right here, and you’re not gonna do anything about---”

“I DID IT!” Mola screamed, springing from an almost unnoticeable tunnel in the side of fortress’ cliff. “LETS BLOW THOSE FOOLS TO PIECES...” He ground to a halt and looked around, confused. “What did I miss?”
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  #92  
05-02-2008, 02:30 AM
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Oddey
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I would have laughed at the ending if I wasn't slightly annoyed at my sister. I hope Reed's only mostly dead. Quoted from The Princess Bride.
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Last edited by Oddey; 05-02-2008 at 07:40 AM..
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  #93  
05-02-2008, 06:30 AM
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Just caught up with this one. I'm glad you decided to carry on with it, especialy since you stopped writing at such a cliff-hanger.
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  #94  
05-10-2008, 11:31 AM
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Moosh da Outlaw
Rabid Fuzzle
 
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Chapter... 27? Wow.

I wrote this all in one sitting. For some reason I have less trouble writing chapters for this fic than for Epidemic.

Right. I just noticed that I forgot to continue Cyren’s flashback-type-past-thing that I was going to add to every post until it had finished. It doesn’t seem like it now, but Cyren will have an important part in the story. We just haven’t gotten there yet.
Here you go; a heaping helping of Charlotte’s Rein for you to savor, rich with potassium, fiber, and plenty of fun. Cheers.


---


It was nighttime in the mountains. The air was cold and wet, disrupted only by the quiet clopping of hooves against the hard, damp earth. Asio and Shandock peeked around the wide base of a colossal fur tree, slowly brandishing their spears. Their ears swivelled. Their eyes flashed left, then right.

There was no danger; no head hunters, no spyiders, nothing. Asio relaxed visibly.

“Safe.” She muttered, stepping out into the small, soggy clearing. “Nobody’s found us.” When she said ‘us,’ she meant the entire steef tribe, who had worked for years to keep their existence a secret. They were one of the only remaining clans to have survived the head-hunting frenzy that had extinguished most of their kind.

“Yet.” Shandock said quietly, bending down and examining the ground for footprints. There were none. He looked up slowly as a breeze ruffled his silver-grey fur.

“What is it?” Asio asked.

Shandock frowned. “Nothing.” He said.

Asio’s nostrils flared as she sniffed the air, and a faint beam of moonlight silhouetted her muscular body. Mountain steef differed from normal steef in many ways; for one thing, their sense of smell was much more acute, perfect for detecting scents in the thick mountain air, and they had much thicker, coarse fur, which repelled water.

“Do you smell that?” She asked, looking worriedly over her shoulder. Shandock sniffed the air.

“It smells like blood.” He sighed; he sounded old and tired, which Asio found surprising. Despite having lived a long, adventurous life, Shandock still seemed young at heart, and had a certain agelessness to him that made him seem invincible. He stalked silently over to some nearby bushes and slowly pushed them aside. He stiffened, his ears falling flat against his head. He rounded on Asio. “Go get help, now!”

“What is it?” Asio cried, moving closer.

“I said NOW!”

Asio flinched and ran off into the forest, towards the steef village, while Shandock bent down and felt the ground. The blood in the earth was still warm. Carefully, he reached forward and prodded the body in front of him as gently as he could. It groaned back.



---


Charlotte whipped out her rifle without hesitation, marched directly up to Willie, and pressed the gun’s muzzle against his head. Suddenly people everywhere were brandishing weapons and aiming them at whichever enemy was in rage, eyes shining with fury.

“Let them go.” Charlotte ordered.

“No.” Willie said stubbornly, stepping back to avoid Charlotte’s line of fire. She moved the gun closer, with more aggression.

Let them go!

Mola, who had no idea what in odd’s name was going on, started murmuring to a grubb in an orange mask nearby. The grubb went rigid and nodded slightly. He crept back off towards the hidden mine exit, his feet not making a sound.

Willie sneered and prodded Brook with his weapon. “Dangerous choice,” he sneered. “Yer little grubb friends’ll be nuthin’ but fish food, if ya try anything.”

“If you try anything,” Charlotte threatened, “I’ll kill you.”

Nobody knew what to do. Grubb’s had their spears at neck level with nearby outlaws, who were armed with heavy firearms. If one person fired, Charlotte realized, it would cause a chain reaction, and it was likely that no one would survive.

Willie looked around worriedly; he seemed to comprehend their delicate situation. “Oh, come on now!” he declared, turning so all could hear. ‘We dun’ have ta act this way Why, we can sort summin’ out!”

“How?!” Ophelia demanded, taking her eyes off of the outlaw her spear was pointed at. “You barge into our home, nearly destroy our fortress, and kill one of our seers, and you expect us to just put aside our differences and walk away as though nothing had happened?

“Well, yeah, what else can we do?”

Ophelia’s face reddened. “You... you...” she shrieked, “...ignorant moron! How do you expect to get away with this? ”

Willie turned away, eyes fixed on the wetland. It was unnaturally quiet; all the commotion had frightened the animals into silence. He grinned slightly.

The water frothed. Two huge eyes on top of a large, long head surfaced from the water, blinking slowly. Charlotte watched in amazement as the remaining chugglers in the fortress bowed their heads submissively, their gills shut to hold in the water in their lungs. The huge, aquatic being in the wetland reared up suddenly, its heavy, frilled back sails snapping open. It had rows of round teeth in its mouth that looked bad for tearing meat, but good for snapping bones.

“What in odd’s name is that?” Stranger demanded.

“It’s an emperor chuggler.” Ophelia said, laughing nervously. Her spear fell from her hands. “We’re screwed. We’re so screwed.”

The chuggler, which was twice the size of a normal chuggler, slithered on to land with its meaty arms. Its arms and legs seemed smaller than normal, and it slid on its belly instead of walking upright, like a salamander. It appeared to have difficulty supporting its own weight, but still looked formidable. It hissed, its double eyelids squinting.

“Wherr is dah murderor?” It demanded, its voice unnaturally shrewd.

Willie pointed at Charlotte. “Right there.” He said bluntly. Charlotte paled. She had no idea what she had gotten herself into when she killed the chuggler that had been bothering the grubbs.

The emperor chuggler rounded on her. It reared its ugly head and snorted, looking insulted. “How?” he demanded, head swaying side to side. “How dis wimpy little fishwife killee mah kin?”

“Fishwife?” Charlotte squawked.

“Kin?” Ophelia asked, raising an eyebrow.

The chuggler closed its eyes. “Ah meeee.” It said, as if deep in thought. “Mah poor little eggchild, killied by a stoopid little brat!” It spat the word ‘brat.’

Charlotte stiffened. “Oh, that thing was one of your kids?” she backed up nervously. Willie crossed his arms, looking satisfied. “I’m sorry, I swear if I would’ve known---”

“...THAT I WOULD KILLIE YEW FER KILLIE MAH EGGCHILD YEW WOOD NAWT?” It screeched, plowing through the crowd of grubbs and outlaws. Both sides attacked as best they could; the dumb creature was so enraged by the death of one of its own that it had forgotten its agreement to help destroy the grubb fortress. “I KILLIE ALL OF YOU! WORTHLESS WERMS!”


---


Stranger had experience killing huge monsters twice his size (the giant, purple-assed sleg and the three gloktigi came to mind), but never something like this.

“GREAT JOB GETTING US ALL KILLED!” Stranger roared accusingly as Charlotte banked to the left, just barely avoiding the chuggler’s lashing paws. A faint shriek entered her voice as she snapped

“WELL HOW THE HELL SHOULD I HAVE KNOWN THIS WOULD HAPPEN?”

“YOU SHOULD’VE HAVE HAD SOME IDEA! ITS A !#%$ING CHUGGLER, ITS BOUND TO HAVE FRIENDS!

“HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A CHUGGLER WAS A WEEK AGO!”

“AT LEAST I DIDN’T STRANGLE THE DAMN THING SO LOUDLY THAT THE ENTIRE WETLAND HEARD---”

“SHUT UP!” Ophelia cut in, throwing a rock at Stranger. It bounced off his head. “SHE WOULD’VE HAD NO IDEA HOW CHUGGLER SOCIETY WORKS LET ALONE CHUGGLER HIERARCHY SO THERE WAS NO WAY IT COULD BE PREVENTED AND BESIDES IT’S A CHUGGLER IT WAS STEALING OUR FISH WE HAD TO KILL IT AND YOU TRIED TO KILL IT TOO, DUMBASS!”

“WHAT SHE SAID!” Charlotte screamed.

“SHUDDUP, WOMAN!” Stranger roared. His throat was starting to hurt. Not only were they yelling because they were angry; it was also because the fight was so noisy, they could barely hear themselves think.

The chuggler reared up on its hind legs and threw its entire body downwards, smashing through barrels and grubb’s houses. Its mouth was foaming and its eyes were solid red, whether from anger or from something else, Stranger didn’t know. He quickly loaded his bow with a bombbat and fired it at the emperor chuggler. It stuck to the beast’s shoulder and exploded, tearing away at its flesh with tendrils of fire. The chuggler screamed as its skin fell away, revealing bleached-white bone and bloody, torn muscle tissue. It swung around and lunged at Stranger, its claws unsheathed, and he jumped back at the last second, loading his bow quickly. The chuggler’s bottom jaw cracked against the ground and it fumbled awkwardly with its little limbs, struggling to stand.

Charlotte appeared on the battlements, (a move which Stranger thought to be far too risky and much too foolish), in an attempt to get its attention. It swung in her direction, and, recognizing its spawn’s killer, howled with rage. Suddenly it sprang forward and clamored up onto the stone structure like a lizard. This was unexpected; it didn’t look like the kind of creature that would make for a good climber. Charlotte was obviously distraught, her plan having been ruined, and took to running in the opposite direction, horrified.

“SMART!” Stranger snarled, rapidly firing stingbees at the emperor chuggler. “GET THE DAMN THING’S ATTENTION SO IT CAN EAT YOU, REAL HELPFUL!”

“I HATE YOU!”

Charlotte jumped down from the battlements and took off on all fours, swerving wildly to avoid the beast’s pummeling fists and snapping jaws.

Mola came running out of nowhere, arms windmilling the air. “Don’t come any closer!” he cried as Charlotte dashed to the side. “The mine’s about to go off!”

Charlotte looked back at the mad beast chasing her. It was so destructive, so evil, that there were no words to describe the mayhem it caused. She suddenly looked determined. Stranger stiffened.

‘She wouldn’t!’

She would.


---


Charlotte had an idea. It was crazy, suicidal, and would most likely result in lots and lots of pain. But she wasn’t left with too many options.

She sprang up onto the rocks and ducked into the mine’s exit, trailed closely by the chuggler. She remembered the map that Ophelia had used to represent the mines; they didn’t seem long. She should have had no problem running through it before the mine’s exploded. But she had miscalculated, forgetting one important factor; the reason they were blowing up the mines in the first place. It was packed with outlaws. She rammed into one head-first, startled, and fell in a heap.

“Get her!” They roared, running over. The mines flashed. The dynamite sparked.

The mineshafts erupted, spewing rubble and dust in all directions. Outlaws fell all around, crushed under falling boulders. Charlotte felt something strike the back of her head; felt blood run down her shoulders; felt her temples pound like a bass drum with each beat of her heart; and then, she felt nothing but a blissful, empty silence.

Last edited by Moosh da Outlaw; 05-10-2008 at 12:37 PM..
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  #95  
05-11-2008, 11:39 AM
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Oddey
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a heaping helping of Charlotte’s Rein for you to savor, rich with potassium, fiber, and plenty of fun.
Where's the flavour. Excellent chapter, I was so not excpecting Charlotte to run into the mines so that surprised me. I hope the next chapter comes soon. Yes I see why it's easier to write it here than it is in the Epidemic Fan Fic. The make-it-up-as-you-go tactic is so much funner than making a huge plan.
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  #96  
05-28-2008, 05:12 PM
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Moosh da Outlaw
Rabid Fuzzle
 
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Sorry it took so long. Updating two fics at once turned out to be harder than I thought.

And its not all made up as I go along; it actually does have a story, a complicated, long one, it just has a ton of mini-plots in the middle. The mini-plots I came up with are in my opinion awesome, and I think everybody who actually reads this fic will really, really like them. ^^



-----



“Well?” Shandock asked anxiously as the steef nurse closed the door behind her. She attempted a smile, with little success.

“He should be fine,” she said carefully. “He had some minor head trauma and gashes around his back, nothing we couldn’t handle.” she fidgeted slightly. “But I’m worried.”

Shandock rested an elbow on the windowsill behind him, frowning. The weather outside was dark and dim, pleasant by his standards. “What’s wrong?”

“Well,” she began, worriedly rubbing her hands together. “You may have noticed he’s a bit strange.”

“Go on.”

The nurse regained composure and took a deep breath. “Well, for one thing, he has no horns; at least, not any more. It appears that he had them filed down somehow so that they’re just plates. And,” she raked a hand through her hair, “his wounds have appeared to have already healed. Not like he has any extraordinary healing abilities; more like they were stitched shut at first, then the stitches were removed too early.”
Shandock pondered this for a moment. The nurse continued unsurely. “And he was alone, with no bullet wounds or scratch marks. If he had been shot at, somebody would surely bring back his head, and if it had been a spyider attack, well, there wouldn’t be anything left of him to heal.”

Shandock stiffened slightly. “What do you believe this means?” he asked, as though he had already come to a conclusion.

“Well,” the nurse said quietly, leaning in closer, “I don’t mean to judge people, and we don’t know who he is, but...” she locked eyes with Shandock. “...I think he might be a lurker.”

“A lurker?” Shandock snorted, as though amused. “We’ve made a lesson of lurkers. Nobody would dare resort to such low levels.”

“But what other options do we have to consider?” She pleaded, sounding convinced with her own suspicion. “We have no way of knowing who this guy is Shandock, I’m afraid we might be in grave danger---”

“He’s not a lurker!” Shandock snarled unexpectedly. The nurse flinched back, crestfallen. “There are no more lurkers! I won’t hear any more of this from you, or anybody!” He marched up to the exit. “Or else.”
Shandock slammed the medical hut door behind him, unaware that somebody else had been listening in.

Cyren shuffled slightly from where he was crouched, peeking into the window. His mind was spinning with shock and exitement.

‘A lurker!’


---


Charlotte’s head pounded. She opened her eyes hesitantly, wincing as her vision swirled over her head. The room she was in was small and dark, but cozy. Soft morning sunlight glowed through a little round window to her right, open to let the fresh air in. In the distance Charlotte heard a soft clinking sound, but she didn’t stop to wonder what it was; all she wanted to know was what she had missed.

Charlotte forced herself out of the small round bed where she had lay, her mind clouded. Suddenly she gasped and fell back, her head throbbing painfully. She reached down slowly and felt bandages around her waist. She winced; the injury felt deep down into her stomach, and she feared that her insides had been damaged. Despite the fear of fainting, Charlotte rose shakily to her legs and grabbed her clothes from a nearby shelf. She pulled them on slowly, adjusting her shirt so that the bandages weren’t terribly noticeable, and headed for the door. She forced it open and peeked warily outside.

The hallway was bright and inviting; an entire wall of it was windows, allowing sharp sunlight inside. Faint traces of dust filled the air as Charlotte stepped out.

“Hey!” A grubb said, spotting her. Her ears perked, and she instantly put on her ‘innocent’ eyes.
The grubb was wearing a shock-white medical apron; Charlotte guessed he was a nurse of some sort. “You should keep resting.”

Charlotte played along. “Oh, I s’pose you’re right... I do feel a little dizzy...” She stepped back and closed the door, flopping down on the bed.

Seconds ticked by. Her ears rotated, and her eyes flashed briefly in the dim light. In an instant she rushed to the door and opened it a crack, looking eagerly outside. The snooty grubb was gone. Grinning, Charlotte closed the door behind her, grabbed her rifle (just incase), and crept down the hall, careful to avoid making a sound. She knew that it would be best to rest and heal, but she couldn’t do that; she had to know how the fight had turned out, and why she hadn’t died in the explosion, let alone gotten away with just a stomach wound.

She finally came to the main entrance of the temple, and frowned; she had no idea that she had been there all along. She shrugged and pushed open a window, thrusting her head outside. Charlotte smiled slightly. Already, repairs from the battle were being made; new wood posts were being hammered into the broken battlements, huts were being pushed back up into position, and, as far as Charlotte could see down the wetland, rocks were being quarried. All the outlaw and grubb bodies were gone; all that was left were broken rifles and bent spears, a sad reminder of the bloodshed.

She trotted over to the wide oak doors of the temple and forced them open, glancing around quickly. She took a careful step outside...

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” A voice behind her asked. Charlotte turned slowly. Ophelia was standing near the spiral staircase, arms crossed, foot tapping, eyebrow raised.
“I’d say so.”

“Then why aren’t you?”

“Dunno.”

Ophelia frowned. “Well can you at least tell me,” she demanded, her voice rising in pitch. She stomped over to Charlotte and glared at her. “...why in Odd’s name you ran into an explosive mine seconds before it went off?!

Charlotte growled defectively. “I was tryin’ to kill that thing that was chasing me!”

“That was your brilliant plan?” Ophelia said shrilly. “You almost died! You know how long it took to pry your mangled hide outta that tunnel?”

“My hide’s not mangled!” Charlotte said with a faint whine. “And I knew exactly what I was doing!”

“Sure you did!” Ophelia stomped out of the temple. Charlotte followed behind, aggressively shoving the door out of her way. “How can I trust you after that? If you’re willing to throw your life away over something so stupid and ruin everything me and my grubbs have worked for...” she swung around, glaring at her. “Thats why I’ve decided that you won’t be going on any more trips any time soon.”

“Huh?” Charlotte asked, startled.

“Sorry,” Ophelia said, crossing her arms smugly, “but you won’t be going with Stranger or Mola to find the next steef.”


---


The upper floors of the temple were cool and comfortable; most grubbs like to spent time there when the weather outside was too hot. The walls were light, yellow sandstone, contrasting to the dark marble floors; it made the already-dim hallways seem even darker.

Stranger stopped at the bottom of the staircase leading to the attic. He had been up collecting boombats and bolamites, ammunition he would need plenty of for the upcoming trip. Ophelia had kept the details sketchy, but she had mentioned their next steef target being the one in the marshes. It sounded easy enough, but Stranger didn’t get his hopes up. All of their tasks so far had been tough, and he doubted this one would be any different.

Stranger sauntered on his way, pausing for a moment by the door leading to the elder’s chamber. They had avoided everybody after the events two days ago. Stranger had to admit he didn’t blame them.

He stepped down a flight of stairs and came to the temple’s entrance, only to be nearly knocked over by a familiar voice.

“WHAT THE HELL!” He heard it scream. “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Stranger snorted. Charlotte. What was she bitching about this time?

Stranger ambled over to the door and pushed it open. He instantly regretted getting involved.

“I HAVE TH’ RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL WANT TA DO!” Charlotte yelled. Boy, did she look pissed.

Ophelia stood on her tip-toes to try and reach Charlotte’s height. “I’M THE LEADER HERE, AND YOU’RE GONNA DO WHAT I TELL YA TO DO!”

“Catfight!” Mola cried, springing out from behind a squashed hut. He had a satchel on his shoulder and a freshly-woven hat on his head; he was ready to go.

“Shut up!”

“What’s going on?” Stranger cut in, raising an eyebrow.

“But you ain’t my leader! I don’t take orders from YOU!”

“Oh, I forgot! You take orders from scummy OUTLAWS, who, might I add, DESTROYED OUR VILLAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

“HEY!” Stranger barked in a voice that would silence a spyider. “Shut yer’ mouths! This ain’t the time to be screamin’ at each other!”

“Exactly,” Ophelia said, face flushed. “We can handle this in a civilized manner.”

“Right.” Charlotte said, adjusting her shirt. “Yes, yes we can.” She paused. “I’m goin’.”

Ophelia sighed. “How do I know I can trust you?”

Charlotte perked up. “I killed that chuggler, didn’t I? That was a selfless act of courage ”

“That was you trying to save your own ass.”

“Same thing.”

Ophelia crossed her arms, biting her lip. She seemed to be weighing her options. Finally, she muttered, “One more chance.” before Charlotte could get exited she added, “Just one. Fail this, and I swear I’ll keep you on a leash so tight you can’t even breathe.”

‘That was easy,’ Stranger thought, scratching his head.

“Okay ” Charlotte said, grinning. She clapped her hands together. “Right, what’s th’ game plan?”

Ophelia frowned. She didn’t seem to like her elaborate missions being referred to as ‘game plans.’ “Follow me and I’ll show you.” She said, face still slightly flushed.

She led them through the damaged fortress and past the shattered battlements, averting her eyes from the damage as though it were too much to bear. Stranger looked around slowly, frowning. After all the grubbs had been through; having to live with no water and having Last Legs destroyed by Sekto; the last thing they deserved was this, to have their fortress, their pride and joy, crushed by a bunch of outlaws.

“Here we are.” Ophelia said, stopping.

Docked against the wetland’s shore was a large log boat. It was roughly the size of a ferry and painted dark green, with a broad gold stripe running along its width. The word ‘BARRACUDA’ was printed on either side in tall white letters, and a single cream-colored sail stood in its middle. The bottom of the craft, Stranger noticed, was stained dark brown, probably from years of scraping through muck.

“The plan,” Ophelia said, walking up to the ship and rapping on its side, “is to try and find the steef hiding in the marshes. The marshes are dark and complicated, not to mention dozens of miles wide, so to help you navigate, I’ve asked an expert to help.” She grinned. “Mola’s uncle, Boon!”

“NO!” Mola screamed in anguish, pulling on his hat. “Anybody but him!”

The craft shook slightly as something stepped up on deck. Mola sank to the ground. Charlotte raised her eyebrows. Stranger was unconcerned.

Standing on the deck with one hand against the mast was a grubb. He was surprisingly tall and gangly, with unusually dark skin and glowing amber eyes. On his head was a strange metal hat that looked like an upside down strainer, on his hips was a brown loincloth, and around his neck was a thin black cord with what looked like a chuggler’s tooth. The grubb caught sight of Mola cringing in the sand, and grinned.

“Heeeey there nephew!” Boon said. He sounded like a hick. “Yew ready tah go steef huntin’? Well, not literally huntin’, we’re hear to save em’, not kill em’...”

“Kill me now.” Mola whispered.

Stranger grabbed Mola and hoisted him to his feet. “Quit complainin’, its not so bad.” He growled.

“Now Boon,” Ophelia said, sounding as though she were at her wit’s end with the guy, “You sure you know your way to the marshes?”

“Uhuh,” He said, planting himself down on the boat’s deck.

“Sure?”

“Yup.”

Ophelia shrugged towards the small group. “I guess you’d better go, then.”

With a lot of struggling and a great deal of noise, the three managed to haul themselves up onto the deck. Stranger winced when he realized the practically dececript condition the ship was in, and he glared at Ophelia as though saying ‘this is the best you could do?’

She merely shrugged.

Boon stood up and unfurled the ships sail, humming to himself. Then he took a long wooden pole with a hook on one and pressed it into the wetland’s shore, kicking off from the sand and into the water. Stranger was surprised. For a grubb, he was exceptionally strong.

The Barracuda’s sail caught on a breeze. It fluttered slightly and the ship was pulled along, creating a clear, deep wake in the water. A few fish skittered across its bough and glittered in the morning light, as bright as golden dew.

Ophelia watched as the boat glided effortlessly downstream before turning on her heel and marching back to camp.

Last edited by Moosh da Outlaw; 05-28-2008 at 05:16 PM..
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  #97  
05-28-2008, 10:10 PM
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(Gasp) What's a lurker? What happened to Reed anyway? And Willie? Or all those other guys. Boon=Funny. Reminds me of my own uncle. But then again Oddworld also reminds me of him. I must see the next chapter. I don't have more time to write because I need to go to school in a minute.
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  #98  
05-29-2008, 12:01 PM
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Moosh da Outlaw
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Yeh, school is evil. >:C

Anyway, I just wanted to say an apology-type-thing to anybody who reads this fic. The last chaper really, really, really sucked. It was horrible. I know. But no matter how many times I wrote it, it just didn't turn out the way I had hoped. There was no way I could tie up all the loose ends, in just one chapter, at least. The next chapers WILL be better, seriously. I've got alot planned.
>=D
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  #99  
05-30-2008, 03:36 AM
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Yeh, school is evil. >:C

Anyway, I just wanted to say an apology-type-thing to anybody who reads this fic. The last chaper really, really, really sucked. It was horrible. I know. But no matter how many times I wrote it, it just didn't turn out the way I had hoped. There was no way I could tie up all the loose ends, in just one chapter, at least. The next chapers WILL be better, seriously. I've got alot planned.
>=D
It sure is. But I got to stay home today.

No, because firstly it'll keep us on our toes trying to peice together what's happened and it'll make us read the next chapter in hopes of answers. That last chapter really, really, really rocked. It was great you know. I would continue but I can't think of how to edit your post into a more positive one. Now I wish to see the planned out chapters, a wishing well would come in handy here.
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  #100  
06-05-2008, 01:29 PM
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I won't be continuing this anymore.

Again. >>

I've run into the same problem I had before; I just wasn't having fun writing it. The characters are dull, I can't get Stranger's personality, and i've added so many fan species (and was planning on adding more) that it doesn't even seem to take place in Oddworld. If I don't like writing it, and nobody likes reading it, whats the point?

Anyway, i've realised a bunch of things I should've done; added more info on Charlotte's childhood, developed her character, ect., but I didn't. I really regret that. >:C
I plan on re-writing this (maybe after I finish Epidemic). I have a bunch of ideas for how this should have been put together that will hopefully help me to write a better fic.
So thats it. Its over, thank god. ^^ This really was terrible.
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  #101  
06-05-2008, 05:56 PM
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...(Sighs). You seem to be falling into a trap of paranoia over who reads it. Its fine, there's maybe some repetitive style of commas, but it ain't bad. Splat has a good fic, people just seem to loose interest over time. Its not to do with the quality mostly. If you only do it for the pageviews/comments, then...Yeah. If you don't wanna do it then fine, but don't get too worked up over what people think.
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  #102  
06-06-2008, 03:23 AM
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I'll admit it. The comments and pageviews are a big part of why i'm writing. But what writer doesn't want their work to be read and enjoyed? This is the first fan fiction i've ever wrote, heck, its the first story i've ever written. I jumped into it at first without even thinking of how it would go and only after I was halfway in did I decide the direction it would go in. I don't want to cling to this story just because its my first. Its my first attempt, and I know I could do better if I put more effort in. I want to be a good quality writer.
And besides, i'm not even having fun writing this anymore. I'd rather concentrate on writing Epidemic.
Sorry to anybody who is reading. Its just gotten old. I plan on trying to re-write this in the future, and then I can continue from where I left off. But for now I just feel the need to ditch this story.
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  #103  
06-06-2008, 08:54 AM
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Well... You got a point. Epidemic is actually better than Charlottes Rein even if the begining was pretty dang cool. Especially the Buckner being dead. Around the part where Cyren came in I started to get a little lost... And thereafter caught up again. Then the seige came which was interesting but it sort of destroyed the style of the story.

I hope to see the rewrite, and more on epidemic.

Besides with this one out of the way... More Epidemic for me to consume into my brain's worthwhile of saving section.
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