Funy phrases

Cool Paramite · #1 08-24-2001, 06:44 AM

To enter your funny phrases. Here are mine:

It's not bright to corner a paramite!
I have a good internet connection... when it works.
There is no parental authority, only parental tiranny.

abe22 · #2 08-24-2001, 07:06 AM

Ok
powerlines....amazing

My mum thinks its real funny how 1 day your not famous the next day you are famous then your not any more.

Go through the red light
its green
oh

If you die before you wake ahahahahaha

Why you could even wake up dead tomorrow...
O'well good night

"and i'll take up smoking and give that up"
"good for you son giving up smoking is the hardest thing you can ever do...here have a doller"
"but he didn't do anything"
"didn't he lisa didn't he.... hey he didn't give that back"

I know there not really phrasers but there still funny most of them are from the tv and movies.

Cool Paramite · #3 08-24-2001, 07:56 AM

Thats funny!

One, Two, Middlesboogie · #4 08-24-2001, 07:31 PM

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Joe the Intern · #5 08-24-2001, 08:49 PM

"showers???? we dont need no stinking showers!!!"

"ah! now we see the violence inheriting the system! eh!? now we see the violence inheriting the system!!"

"you will find the grail, in the castle of, aaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh"

MuNcH · #6 08-30-2001, 09:28 PM

there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Bumper stickers:
if you can read this, I can hit the brakes and sue you.

i'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

Handguns don't kil people...

...nearly as well as automatic assault wepons do

UnseenProphet · #7 08-31-2001, 01:37 AM

That's a great bumper sticker!
If you can read this, I can hit the brakes and sue you. *chuckles*

Rozzdouer: Listen, we can explain it all. McGregor, tell him -
Hermit: McGregor? Troy McGregor? Thomas's son?
Troy: You knew my dad?
TOM: Knew him? HE WAS DELICIOUS!

- Final Sacrifice, MST3K

MuNcH · #8 08-31-2001, 04:13 AM

More bumper stickers:

i may be slow but i'm in front of you

i'f you can read this you too damn close!!!

The #1 cause of divorce is marriage

my other ride is your mom

Danny · #9 08-31-2001, 04:37 PM

FORMAT C:? (Y)es, (W)hy not, (O)k, (S)ure, (B)e my guest

Do I BELIEVE in the Bible?! HELL man, I've SEEN one!!!

Error loading GOD.SYS (A)bort or (U)nzip BIGBANG.ZIP.

"Suicide Hotline...please hold."

"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"

10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo.

2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)

2B, or not 2B, or should I use a biro

3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Melvin:squeeking paramite · #10 09-01-2001, 02:36 AM

Heh heh.. very good Rettick.
Unseen prophet-MST3K- one of the best places to get funny quotes(Final Sacrifice and Pod People... very quotable)
Here are some Pod People ones-
Tom:Faster Trumpy, kill, kill!(i think it was tom)

Tommy:now, trumpy put away the food, its time to play.
Tom(as Trumpy)Like hell! more food!

(trumpy is eating peanuts)
Crow:if he sneezes, hes gonna pistol whip that kid with peanuts.

(trumpy's brother is killing someone)
Joel:Alf, no!

now, some more Final sacrifice ones...

Troy:was i like my father?
Mike: (as aunt)no, he was masculine and likable.

and pretty much every riff in that episode.
anyone want MST3K quotes? ask me...

[ August 31, 2001: Message edited by: Melvin:squeeking paramite ]

LuxoJr · #11 09-01-2001, 05:31 AM

Homer Simpson: You can't drive, you're only ten! You're going hunting!

Life is a terminal illness with a 100% mortality rate.

Some guy I overhead during the church services I had to attend for school: **whacks a younger boy over the head** Shut the hell up, idiot! You're in God's house!

A Catholic on the topic of homosexuals being refused communion: Well we let them come inside the church, don't we?

Doc Hawkins from MDK2: I don't need luck! I've got science!

[ August 31, 2001: Message edited by: LuxoJr ]

Danny · #12 09-01-2001, 05:50 PM

this one isn't very good, because i just came up with it myself:

Imagination, the Low-Fat Alternative to Intelligence!

there have probably been an infinite number of variations on that one already...

Silversnow · #13 09-01-2001, 08:56 PM

From my family:

Mum, if I'm ugly, is he dumb then?

Björn: I've got "Sleep with the fishes" on Midtown Madness.
Me: Oh, poor fishes. I hope you used a condom...

From Icewind Dale:

Big, strong warrior: I'm ready...I hope...

[ September 01, 2001: Message edited by: Silversnow ]

Zoolag · #14 09-01-2001, 09:23 PM

I made most of these up myself:

"I'm not gay, but i'll learn"

"I'm not gay, jus' imaginative"

"I'm not gay, jus' adventurous"

"I'm not gay...jus' different"

"I'm not gay...PERIOD!"

"Every time i think of you, i touch myself...in the eye, with a fork"

"It is better not to answer a question and seem dumb, then to answer it and remove all doubt"

Teen Girl: "Mom, i've started my period"

Mother: "It's called a phase, dear"

Woman: "If i had a husband like you i would put poison in your soup!"

Churchil: "If i had a wife like you i would eat the soup!"

Father: "Dont move, he cant see us if we dont move"

Son: "Isn't that T-Rex'?"

Father: "Shit...your right...ahhhhggggrrrrr!"

"The problem with men is they were born with a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to work one at a time"

"Your like a bat out of Hell...wait...you are a bat out of hell..."

"And back at band camp..." (<
Thats all i can come up wiv @ the mo...more shall follow...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Danny · #15 09-01-2001, 10:46 PM

"The problem with men is they were born with a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to work one at a time" - i like this one

it sums things up nicely...

Zoolag · #16 09-01-2001, 11:28 PM

One of my frends sed that one quite a while ago...it amused me so i put it up..
HURRAH 4 N@!!!

Melvin:squeeking paramite · #17 09-02-2001, 12:41 AM

The problem is, Rettick, that I am a male and I wasn't born with either...

Zoolag · #18 09-02-2001, 12:43 PM

I believe that makes u a girl then...ur parents must b really, really confused..!!

Melvin:squeeking paramite · #19 09-02-2001, 06:27 PM

They are...i am niether male nor female. No one knows what I am. I am... mystery boy/girl!*runs*

Oddipus · #20 09-03-2001, 12:48 PM

"Reality is an hallucination that appears due to a lack of alcohol." ... it's even true!

Danny · #21 09-03-2001, 06:25 PM

it all suddenly makes sense...

Sl'askia · #22 09-03-2001, 06:43 PM

I saw this as someones sig on another board:

Error loading REALITY.SYS. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)o back to Unreal Tournament?

One, Two, Middlesboogie · #23 09-04-2001, 09:19 AM

If that said WipEout instead of Unreal Tournament, I'd definitely be able to relate to that one!

DarkHoodness · #24 09-04-2001, 04:46 PM

Some error 404 quotes:

Microsoft DOS v6.22a
(c) Copyright 1981-1992 Microsoft Corp.

c:\>ren thatpage.html hideit.html
c:\>dos laugh
c:\>USER REQUEST THATPAGE.HTML
c:\>WEBSERVER RESPONSE USER 404 ERROR
c:\>cd lecture
c:\lecture>run.exe

<<< // LECTURE v2.0 \\ >>>
<<< \\original code// >>>
<<< \\ by mom&dad // >>>
Were you messing around again? Well, now you've gone
and done it. How many times have I said don't mess
with pages you don't know? Hmm? Well I guess this will
teach you. Next time maybe you'll think twice. What?
It wasn't your fault? Oh. Oh my. Please hold on.

General Protection Fault: Abnormal Termination. Error
EMBARRASMENT at 14023.4332:3765 in module parent.dll

c:\lecture>_

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary,

...Over many a strange and spurious website of 'hot chicks galore',
...While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
...And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour.
..."'Tis not possible," I muttered, "give me back my cheap hardcore!" -

Quoth the server, "404".

Space Quest qoutes comig soon.

- DH

End of line · #25 09-07-2001, 06:40 PM

A bird in the hand...
is worth two in the bush...unless,
:The bird in your hand craps in it.
:The bird in your hand is a wild hungry eagle.
:The bird in your hand has just died from a deadly virus.
:It's a baby bird that just fell out of it's nest, but it's packin' an uzi.
:It's a duck, and its duck season.
:You take drugs and the bird in your hand is in reality:
1:A fresh pile of cow shite.
2:A poisonous snake.
3:An old rusty hand grenade, or worse, an old rusty nuclear warhead.
4:It really is a small rare bird worth $bucks
but not only are you on drugs but you're paranoid and you think the bird in your hand is one of the above so you throw it away.DOH!

And if 'bush' is refering to
that environmental disaster on top of your head that you so desperately call "hair".
That black forest cake without the cake,
That explosion at the slinky factory,
That place that you hire out for 'paintball' sessions,
The place that old nits tell their grandnits about that gives them nightmares.
Well, leave the birds in, at least,
they won't land clear you, now there's wildlife in there.
You can go on the world heritage listing.
Hold your head up high, be proud dot dot dot.

OBTW Joe the Intern said "ah! now we see the violence inheriting the system! eh!? now we see the violence inheriting the system!!"

What a classic python.

Cool Paramite · #26 10-15-2001, 04:22 PM

You will only get this one if you understand dutch: "Voer eendjes geen oorlog!"

abe22 · #27 10-16-2001, 08:04 AM

The 1st word is "for" and the 2nd word is "not" I dont know the other words.
I cant think of any other sayings from movie or tv.

BigBroSig · #28 10-16-2001, 11:20 PM

...the only snack that smiles back...until you bite their heads off.

Gir: oooh, what is it!?
Zim: a hunt...
Gir: (interupting zim) WHAT IS IT!?
Zim: a hunter destroyer.

Zim: Gir!
Gir: yes master?
Zim: what did you do to the telescope?
Gir: Nothing.
Zim: Do you mean something is wrong and it's not your fault?
Gir: I know, I'm scared too.

Girl #1:I don't beleive it because nothing that disgusting can be true.
Girl #2:Boogers are true.

bumper sticker:
If you tailgate me I'll flick a booger on your windsheild.

Jerry springer(stupid quote):
And now for my final thought...

funny joke:
A duck walks into a store..
Duck: Do you have any duck food here?
Store manager: No! go Away!
The next day...
The duck walks back into the store...
Duck: do you have any duck food here?
Manager:NO! And if you come back again, I'll nail your feet to the floor!
The next day...
The duck walks back into the store...
Duck: Do you have any nails here?
Manager: (looks at duck quizzically) no....
Duck: Good, do you have any duck food here?

That's all I can think of. Hope you got some good laughs!

[ October 16, 2001: Message edited by: BigBroSlig ]

Cool Paramite · #29 10-17-2001, 04:40 PM

:

Originally posted by abe22:
The 1st word is "for" and the 2nd word is "not" I dont know the other words.
I cant think of any other sayings from movie or tv.

The 1st word is NOT for "for". It's a word joke. "Eendjes voeren" means feeding ducks and "oorlog voeren" means having war.