MAN CUTS OFF OWN PENIS IN LONDON RESTAURANT

[Mutual Friend]

Breaking News! From Tuesday.

Man walks into a swanky, suspected Italian-named restaurant whereby he rushes to the kitchens, gains possession of a knife and cuts off his own schlong. Doctors were unfortunately unable to re-attach the stabbed-out member, but are left with the moral decision of what to do with the man's giggle stick. Presumably he no longer wants it... but is he really in any state to make such a choice?

Full story here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

I think there are a lot of important issues bubbling under the surface of this apparently hilarious story which need to be discussed, with as many different terms for a ram-rod utilised as possible.

[Cullen Heath]

Oh, yeah, sorry. I just felt that I didn't really want it anymore.

[6-finger-fred]

ROFL!

That is seriously screwed up..

[SeaRex]

...

Oh... kay?

[Bullet Magnet]

Left to his own devices, he would have had a fry-up afterwards, and the issue of what to do with the "item" would go away.

[Mutual Friend]

Well, if we take this act to be a furious, incandescent expression of the modern emasculation and erosion of the Male Figure, which I think we all do, consuming one's own purple helmeted junket plunger would also consume the issue itself. Then what would be the point to the Man Victim or the world at large?

No, better to have it dangle literally and figuratively in people's faces. Let THEM eat at the Table of Tallywhacker. Bet it don't taste so sweet.

But you raise an interesting point, nonetheless.

[Patrick Vykkers]

Sounds like an excellent punishment for sex offenders, Free Republic members, and mullahs.

[Mutual Friend]

Haha! I was going to mention the whole paedo-thang, but I couldn't be bothered to dig up that old piece of idiocy.

Good on ya, Pat.

[Nate]

I read in an article a few years back that the best penis-reattachment surgeons are in Thailand, where it is common for jilted wives to dewang their husbands.

[Bullet Magnet]

Thank you, Nate. I will cherish this information to the grave.

[skillyaslig]

Ugg, that must of hurt quite a bit...bet the other costumers couldnt get out fast enough.

[Leto]

I thought it was that age old link with the guy providing stepbystep instructions on how to cut off your own penis, complete with pictorial instructions.

Anyone else remember this?

[Nemo]

Don't remind me.



I've only just gotten over the nightmares.

[Havoc]

Doctors were unfortunately unable to re-attach the stabbed-out member

Unfortunately? No I'd say we're all quite fortune this idiot can no longer breed.

Havoc

[Voodoo Hand]

This from the article,

"This happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing for the many customers and staff in the restaurant at the time."

"distressing for the many customers"

This would have to be the understatment of a lifetime .

Could be that the nut case came back because he wanted to leave A TIP

[Jordan]

Crazy guy. Who hates their manhood enough to chop it off? Oh well, no masturbation for him.

[Zerox]

Most of your posts have been most amusing. Teh lulz.

So what's happening to the man? He's stable, but is he going to be charged, or what?

And I think we'd all like an actual logical reason why he may have done this. Which there isn't one. Well, I can't think of one, can you?

[OddjobAbe]

I read in an article a few years back that the best penis-reattachment surgeons are in Thailand, where it is common for jilted wives to dewang their husbands.

You have to be joking! My uncle's got a girlfriend in Thailand!

[moxco]

What a Moron. No sex for him.

[Mutual Friend]

He can still get shafted fine, though. If he wanted to.

[Laser]

hmm,interessting
thank christ it wasn't a macdonalds or they'd be fishing out a deep fried penis

[Jordan]

hmm,interessting
thank christ it wasn't a macdonalds or they'd be fishing out a deep fried penis

McDonalds would probably chop the thing up and serve it on a burger, knowing them. I've heard so many rumours of them spitting in the food.

[moxco]

McDonalds would probably chop the thing up and serve it on a burger, knowing them. I've heard so many rumours of them spitting in the food.

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictu...s+New+Nuggets/

Sorry for going off topic. -.-

[Chubfish]

Lulz at the deep fried penis. But that news story sounded really random, I mean is it every day a guy walks into an Italian-named restaurant and finds a knife, to only cut of his own penis?

[Patrick Vykkers]

.

Could be that the nut case came back because he wanted to leave A TIP

That reminds me of this joke about a leper and a prostitute.

[zimfromBM]

Hmm what a strange man. (First post btw)

[Nate]

That reminds me of this joke about a leper and a prostitute.

Or the one about how you pay a mohel.

[Munch's Master]

Look, if this guy's stupid enough to hack off his own lower horn, he deserves any non-sexual or painful results. I mean, who with a sane mind takes a knife to their own schlong? If you do it to somebody else, then maybe there's some snaity behind your violent unhinged wang-chopping behaviour, but still...

And first person to get the reference in there wins something.

[Patrick Vykkers]

"Spanish Fry", semifinal episode of Futurama's fourth season.

[Hobo]

MAN FINDS CAPS LOCK KEY. PRESSes it. That's better now isn't it?