well whatcha know? Abeguy writes poetry!!

[Abeguy]

hey people, out of the sheer fun of it, I'm now going to write some random, un-premeditated, improvised poetry. I've learned that I have a knack for it.



Abeguy writes poetry
Abeguy writes poetry, as you've read above
these are not about cars, tractors, or love
instead these are thought from the top of my head.
no need for backspace, for I'm already ahead.

These poems are for reading, for seeing through eyes.
But not exactly for laughing till you clutch your sides.
They are more for letting steam out, putting my heart on my sleeve.
I'm going to write these till I take my leave.

Abeguy writes poetry, cause he's bored through and through.
I'm tired of this boredom so I'll throw it to you.
Not all poems that follow this one will be like this, I'm sure.
But for getting rid of boredom, writing poetry's a cure.

Ode to an idiot
Ode to an idiot, a moron, a turd.
Most of you have all heard of him, his names more than a word.
This poems about Dino, the monster, the freak.
The guy who had a new identity every frikkin week.

As every incarnation, he insulted, he'd boo,
Most all of us hated his guts, wanted to throw him the shoe.
For all we know he's gone now, not to be heard of again,
But he might be back as Dusan, or Mutual friend.

If not then we are safe now, as safe as can be.
But we still need to watch out for he's very...stealthy.
So now, all my friends, this poem here is done.
But beware, for my boredom has only begun.



I'll be back with more later, I'm gonna take a bath

[E'l Scrabino]

Awesome stuffs, Abeguy!

[Slaveless]

Pure awesomeness. I wonder how you make the perfect rhyming every phrase. And I never knew you made such great poems.

And the 'Ode to an Idoit' poem made me laugh. *Wonders if MF or Dusan really is a multi.*

Weirdly enough, I make poems too. But that's because my teacher said I had to in order to pass her class.

[Abeguy]

Here's a short one Cuz I gotta go to Band Camp

I Gotta Go to Band Camp
I gotta go to band camp, it's only kinda fun.
For the first three hours, through the music we'll run.
And then we'll stop for lunch, and put our instruments on the bus.
And go the the other High school cuz Our practice grid is a mess.

I gotta go to Band camp, I'll wear a hat and still get a sun burn.
Even if I put on sunscreen, that burn is what I'll earn.
So now I'm of to Band camp, TTFN, Till Taters Fly North.
And I'll carry around my Sousaphone just taking what it's worth.

[Bullet Magnet]

I love bizzare poetry, and yours is amoung the most bizzare of all. They remind me of a short I wrote six or seven years ago.

I wish I was a better bard,
Frustration's made my brain go hard!
I'll try and try all day and night,
'Til I get this poem right.

Balls of paper scatter the floor,
Piles so high, you can't open the door!
The sun's gone down, there's no more light:
I still can't get this poem right!


...But yours are much better!

[Spirrow]

Ha, I can't wait to see what Dusan and Mutual Friend say. Ah, I
can already picture it. But I say give me more.

[Dusan]

I'm touched, also i'm curious: u guys really picture me like that?
..I allways add "no offence" when I "offend" somebody...

just to know, I'm original, and I can't be compared with some "dino' guy
Gotta go and read his posts.

Liam (aka mutual friend) is gone.

-me

[Stranger's Girl]

lol, Abeguy. They're all so funny and REALLY good.

[Abeguy]

Ok, I'll admit, this one had a bit of pre thinking. a couple of hours ago at work that is. couldn't get to a comp

Why I don't write for Children
"Why do you ever write poems for children?" some people often ask.
"I know the kids will simply love it, These poems will make them laugh."
"Y'know," I say, "I've tried to write for children, that's no lie."
"But when I try to write funny poems, it makes the kiddies cry."

I write hilarious tidbits about dead puppies, covered in mud.
I even write the cutest little limericks about Bugs Bunny torturing Elmer Fudd.
I don't get it, why the kiddies never seem to giggle,
when I tell them little stories about strangled kittens who will never wiggle.

That. Is why, I don't write poems for Children.

And so they say, "Okay, I see, sorry that I brought it up."
"But what about short stories or articles. The kids will eat'em up!"
"Y'know," I say, "I've tried that too, And I'll explain since you implored."
"I've also tried that story thing, but the childs, well, they got bored."

I'd write amazing thrillers about the monotonus man.
Who fought bad guys with his robot voice, and with a plain, human hand.
But the children never got into it, and I swear I heard a snore.
And so after that little adventure, little stories, I wrote no more.

And THAT. Is why I don't write stories for kiddies.

"Y'know," they say, "Just maybe, The written word just ain't for you"
"Have you tried the movies, maybe the G rated audience would then ensue."
"You just don't get it" I'd say to them, "I've tried the entire batch,"
"I did go into the movie buisness but the parents wouldn't let them watch."

Pubic Pete and Vaginal Vanessa and their adventures I taped and taped.
But when the Movie rating company saw it, the whole idea was raped.
They said it was inappropriate, they insulted the entire project.
And that's when I thought, just maybe, JUST maybe, that for children's media, I was a reject.

So that's my story, Accept it if you want, but that explains my 'tude.
That when I tried to write for children, well, some people are just rude

[Spirrow]

Ah, your my kind of (Abe)guy. Talk about throughing a cat in a
wall when your pissed off with it. Not that you wrote that.

Dusan, what happened to Liam. He wasn't banned, was he?

[Abeguy]

My Job Sucks
My Job, it sucks, it really sucks, it sucks as suck can be
I'm not joking when I say it sucks, I mean it literally.
I walk around a HUGE werehouse, with a vaccum pack on all day.
Sucking up every sq. inch of dust for very little pay.

6 bucks an hour, 8 hours a day, 4 or 5 days a week.
The constant sucking never stops and I am gonna freak!
From endcap to endcap, aisle to aisle, up the dust balls go.
And the little packs of silical gel, I WON'T EAT THEM, I KNOW!!!

My Job it sucks, both literally and not. My job is a huge bummer.
But I will thank God to this day, that it's only for the summer.

Warts
Four on three fingers, one on my thumb, and thats just my right hand.
And Loner Wart that is on my left. I'm as warty as warty I am.
They come and come they never leave, well ok, I'll make one exception.
That one that went a way last week, without a trace, nothing left for inspection.

I wash my hands, I put on salve, but nothing seems to work.
I'll clip them down so they aren't so big, They're annoying, the little jerks.
I haven't tried to freeze them yet, cuz I'm lazy and I'm slow.
How long am I gonna live with these warts? Someone tell me, I wanna know.

They're ugly, hideous, In your face, a turn off for girls I'm sure.
There's only one thing I hope will work, something I pray is a cure.
That crap called wartner, a home freezing kit, may be my only hope.
I might as well go out and buy it, or I'll forever sit here, and mope.

I hate warts, all through and through, they're like some kind of tumor.
I can't wait they are all gone, and believe me, that's no rumor.

[Stranger's Girl]

Wow. lol And Wow again. That's all I CAN say. Wow and lol.

[Spirrow]

(sobs)

This is a beauty. You make me cry. Those poems remind of never-ending
pranking days.

[Abeguy]

Oh God I'm really tired
I got to bed past midnight, and I just awoke at six.
I am so deathly tired, my brain is in the mix.
But I have to wake so early, so early I'm half asleep,
Cuz I gotta prepare for band camp, Thank God it's the end of the week.

An IM poem
Darkitty45: How are you my spudmuffin?
Lifespan61: I'm just fine
Darkitty45: kk
Lifespan61: ta
Lifespan61: so how's it over in England?
Darkitty45: It's doing good
Lifespan61: Woot!
Darkitty45: ah

Lifespan61: Oh crap I just realized the cat's eating my waffle
Darkitty45: lol, my cats are to kind to ever do that thing
Lifespan61: rofl

Darkitty45: Well I got to go do something, so I will brb
Lifespan61: kk

Lifespan61: Hello?

Lifespan61: Are you there?

Lifespan61: Why won't you answer me!?!

Darkitty45: I told you I had to do something

Darkitty45 just sent you a Nudge!!!

Lifespan61: What exactly did you have to do?
Darkitty45: I was in the mood for Fudge

[Stranger's Girl]

lol Again. That's all I can say. lol

[Fuzzle Guy]

They are fantastic. Very, very entertaining.

[Bullet Magnet]

More. More now.


BM want more Abeguys poems!

[Abeguy]

Anywho, I just got home from Synagogue, so I'm gonna do a Completely Non-Synagogue-ish-ish poem.

Here we Go

...
I can't think what to write of
My mind is a big blank
It's like a empty stadium
A very big fish tank.

As I am thinking so hard,
To write a poem for you
I just can't seem to conjour one up.
my brain is sniffing glue.

If this writer's block goes away,
Thank maybe I can think,
Of how I can keep your mind too,
from going down the sink.

EUREKA!!!
That's it! An idea has finally come,
Let's go and type it up!!!
My cerebral flatulence is going away,
It's filling like a cup!!

The thoughts and stories filling my mind,
I can't pick only one,
I'm am now on poetry fire!!
I'm gonna have some fun!!!!

Instasporatica
It's falling, falling like a rock, indeed it's gonna fall!!!
Cows, and Zebras, Muslims too, I'm writing of them all!!!
The adventures that await my mind are far to vast to see.
Buttons, cd's, VCR's, and the NINTENDO WII!!!!

Blasted cubboards in my face, they'll never let me win.
I spent all this time with my face in the mud, Why Won't you let me in!!!
If I'm to spend this lonely night in the unfriendly cold.
THEN WON'T YOU GIVE ME A FUZZY COAT!!! I THINK I'M GONNA MOLD!!!

But they just stand there, giving up, the ghost I see within.
Just floating, floating, up and up, fighting all that wind!!!
It's in Bouncer heaven now, and it is filling great,
He's the one that stands in front of the large pearly gates.

So now I'm left to stand out here in front of this Cubboard's Corpse.
I look above to see my love in space in...all it's warps.
"YOUR NAME IS CHARLEY!!" I yell to him, and kick him in the face.
I am the one, the only one to save the human race.

The Media controls our lives, if your too lazy to see.
But you just sit there on your butts, JUST GUT-DANG LISTEN TO ME!!
If you take all this redundancy then I am going to ask.
JUST TAKE A LOOK OUT OF YOUR WINDOW!!! I'M ABOUT TO LAUGH!!!

Boredom boredom flows my mind, drowning me inside.
It's coming in the boat to fast, I have nowhere to hide.
It comes in, I throw it out, a perfect state of balance.
Poetry is my bucket, one of my many talents.

[Dusan]

u should get a nobel or something :LOL:

it's 1:20, gotta stop stering in the screen.... you to wish me a sweet dreams...

[Abeguy]

ENOUGH!!! TIME for the TOPIC on hand

DDR
Hell in a box,
I open it up,
I plug myself in,
and I am King of the cup.

The arrows fly up and away I go.
Perfects, Marvelouses, and a great or so.
Feet in beat, eyes on screen. I am in a trance.
I'll keep on playing, I'll never get off, I'll play till I wet my pants.

IT'S JUST SO ADDICTING!!! YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND!!
THE PLEASURE I FEEL WHEN I PLAY!!!
The Dance pad is my only friend,
PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AWAY!!!

I sit here in a corner, the Game is turned off,
but it's STILL IN MY MIND!!! I'll laugh and I'll scoff.
YOU CAN TAKE THE PLAYER FROM THE GAME, BUT THE GAME WILL NEVER LEAVE!!!
As I get up, I feel nautious, enough to make me heave.

But As I look, the arrows go up, And I start to feel a beat,
I bob my head, snap my fingers, and start to move my feet.
I'M A DANCING MASTER!! And here I am, standing infront of a crowd,
With the music, I'll dance and dance, the music is ever so loud.

DDR IS IN MY MIND, IT IS WHAT I THINK!!!
I'm NO LONGER CAPTIVE WHEN I PLAY!!
The dancepad is the ground I walk,
The music, will never go away.


(A'holy crap, that's addiction.)



Emulation
I never owned a real game console, till my PSone
never donned the floor with a N64, not a single one.
How would I play the games I loved? How would I finally do it?
There had to be an easier way, a way go through it.

Then one day, While at my friends house, I was on his home PC.
And saw a file labled "SNES emulator" and at once intrigued me.
I asked him what it was, and he told me tall and short.
That for many videogames, PC was a possible port.

And so home I went, onto the net and started my next trend,
I downloaded emulators, and then the roms, there was no seeable end!
I downloaded Sega, Nintendo, and old consoles that now are crude.
I downloaded till I thought I had them all, until I was the gaming dude.

I bought a controller, for my PC that is, and started down Nostalgia way.
Super Mario 64, I beat it in a day!!
And then I went to Sega too, And played sonic till daybreak.
I was on Retro Fire all week, all those games layed, defeated in my wake!!!

But soon the glitter fell away, the rose-colored glasses removed.
It all seemed so boring now, I was no longer in the groove.
I stood up from my gaming chair, and stared back at the screen.
The flashing "Game Over" sign was there, but what exactly did it mean?

Was it all so over? Was there nothing left to play?
I went upstairs and looked out of the window, today was just a day.
But as I started to go to bed, something caught my eye.
My Nintendo Gamecube covered in dust, and I began to cry.

There is so much more to play, We need to stop dwelling in the past.
Don't let the present slip away, I comes and goes so fast.
The current-gen will be replaced, and so will the next-gen.
We need to clutch on to what we have, before it falls into the wind.



*sniff*

[Abeguy]

Just Post already!
I've written my turn, now the task is up to you,
To give me my feedback, make a comment or two.
But your all being quiet, not making a sound,
What do I have to do to bring this topic around?

Why don't you reply? Is my poetry like stale toast?
Then reply with that saying, don't make me double post!
This poem is for bumping this topic pre-mortem
For this Thread was almost all the way to the bottem!

So, please my friends, make the small time to make a post.

[metroixer]

*Takes small time to make a post*

Nice poetry abeguy. I never found poetry to be made in a funny concept. I can make a poem out of the blue but they don't have a sence of humor like you . (See? I just did it right now )