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  #1  
09-03-2006, 05:30 AM
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Blind The Odd Pair *updated*

I’ve had the idea for the Odd Pair for a week or two now, Originally the Mud was a female called Iris, and then I found out that Sam was the only female mud ^^; Anyway I’m still getting a feel for these two so here’s a little drabble of how they first met. ( Even though a drabble is meant to be 100 words and this is 4 times bigger. ) It takes place a few hours before Abe’s Exodus starts.


The Odd Pair – Blind – 400 words

He swung his pick striking hard rock.
He pulled it free releasing loose rubble.
Swing and pull, swing and pull.
He felt though the rubble, sorting sharp rocks from the minerals he had been told to ‘look’ for.
It was night, not that he could tell, all he knew was the mine, Day and night meant nothing to him. However, that didn’t mean he didn’t know he should be asleep right now, that in a few hours the other mudokon’s will be forced out of their pens and back to work and the chance for the brief escape from pain and toil will be over, but he was behind quota, and he didn’t want to be beaten again.
Please not again, he’d work hard, he’d catch up, please just stop hitting –

“Hey you!”

He froze in fear. It was a slig, but he hadn’t heard him coming, and silg’s made so much noise when they walked.

“Get over here.”

The mudokon put down his pick-axe and walked over to where he heard the slig.

“Woah woah lookout! Stop you moron!” The slig yelled. “Are you blind or...oh stay there.”

He waited, he waited for a long time, but he couldn’t hear the slig leave, didn’t hear the mechanical legs of gear and pistons, didn't smell the scent of oil and lubricant, only the slap of flesh against stone, and the smell of a leather mask when the slig came back, the voice much closer this time, and to his left instead of ahead of him.

“Come here.”

The slig seemed relieved when next spoke.

“I got a deal for you........Are ya dumb as well as blind!” Anger echoed from the solid mine walls “Answer me!”

“O-okay...” His meek, shivering, answer barely carried though the dust choked air. “A deal?”

“Yeah, I got eyes, you got legs, I lead you out of here and you carry me. Deal?”

“Out?”

“Yeah out you idiot...” The slig sounded like fear and almost snapped patience. “I’ll take you where there’s no sligs.”

“No sligs? No one to hit me?”

“That’s right I’ll take you where there is no one to hit you.” The slig said in a mocking tone of voice. “Now do we have a deal?”

“Y-yeah!”Hope flew though the air and cheerfully bounced off rock.

“Not so loud!”

“O-okay.”

“Now let’s go.”

“Okay.”

“Hey come back here and pick me up idiot!”

*********************
And thus a ‘beautiful friendship’ is born. XD

Last edited by Oddpaw; 09-04-2006 at 11:11 AM.. : Fixing mistakes
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  #2  
09-03-2006, 04:32 PM
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I'm exited. I really want to hear more! Very well written, great job!
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  #3  
09-04-2006, 12:52 AM
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THIS is a cool beginning !
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  #4  
09-04-2006, 01:19 AM
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Good job, Oddpaw! Sounds exciting.
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  #5  
09-04-2006, 04:45 AM
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Blind The Odd Pair part 002

Thank everyone for commenting!

:
I'm exited. I really want to hear more! Very well written, great job!
Thank you! ^______^ I’m glad you liked it since It’s kinda hard to write from the POV of a blind person.

:
THIS is a cool beginning !
Thank you XD I was going to start with how the Slig lost his pants...but I haven’t figured that out yet ^^; (Opps I shouldn’t have admitted that.)

:
Good job, Oddpaw! Sounds exciting.
Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. Let’s hope the Slig doesn’t almost kill the poor Mudokon again. ^_^

I guess this means I have to come up with more then? (ACK! They don’t even have names yet! o_0 )

****************

EDIT:- New ficlet!

****************

The odd pair - Lost - 445 words

All in all it had been pretty easy.

Walk this way, walk that way. Not THAT way you dolt!

Easy, but still tiring

Climb here, there’s a ledge below you climb down too it

And nerve wracking.

The sound Pistons and gears the smell of leather and oil. Keep still, keep quiet.
Keep still Keep still Keep still


“Quit your gibbering they can’t see us in the dark here.”

But nothing worth having is ever that easy to get.

“Git ‘em!”

“Of course, hearing us it something else all together.”

The sound of something running towards them that wasn’t the noisy maniacal gate of a slig or the quite tread of a mudokon

“Crud RUN!”

Growling barking snapping jaws, clawed feet scraping on the hard ground, hot breath on his ankles.

“Turn left, no left you idiot! LEFT!”

The sligs panicked orders went unheard over the roar of blood in his ears and the beating of a panicked heart in his chest.

“Shite Jump!” The slig let go of the Mudokon’s shoulders with one hand to whack him over the head. “You hear me? Jump!”

Snapping teeth and snarling hot breath

“Jump when?”

“...NOW!”

For one terrifying moment, there was nothing, he had lived most of his life by feel and now there was nothing under his feet, and nothing for his grasping hands to hold.
Then there was sharp soild real rock under his fingers and his shins slammed into a rock face.
The howling of doomed slogs falling to their deaths floating up from below .
And his head was buffeted by blows as the slig climbed up to safety leaving the mudokon behind.
The slave pulled himself up onto the ledge too.

“WHAT THE ODD WAS THAT YOU MORON!”

The mudokon flinched.

“I-I didn’t want to die.”

Slap

“IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DIE”

Another punch and the mudokon is shivering awaiting the next blow.

“YOU’LL DO AS I TELL YOU!”

A blow that never came.
The sound of shifting pistons and grinding gears were far more important, and the slig was crawling his way back up to the mudokons shoulders.

“Move it Eyeballs.”

The mudokon obeyed after all he knew no better really, he’d been following orders all his life.
But after a while he slowed down and eventually stopped.
Not because he was rebelling against the orders he had been givin, but because he hadn’t been giving any more orders.

“I-I...I am going the right way aren’t I?”

The slig didn’t answer for a long time. “I don’t know, it’s heh heh too dark for me to see.”

***********************
And now the Mudokon has a name! (Well sort of...)
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Last edited by Oddpaw; 09-06-2006 at 06:10 AM..
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  #6  
09-04-2006, 08:46 PM
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Cool! I liked that.

I'm wondering what happened to the Slig, though... Well can't do anything, but wait to read on!


Great job!
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  #7  
09-05-2006, 03:11 AM
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Wicked fanfic, a nice pairing of a Slug and a Mudokon, I can't wait to read more!
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  #8  
09-05-2006, 04:15 AM
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Ahah, this has potential! Very interesting, looking forward to finding out more about the slig, and what the two of them will do if and when they get out!
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  #9  
09-05-2006, 07:16 AM
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Cool story, Oddpaw!

:

“I-I...I am going the right way aren’t I?”

The slig didn’t answer for a long time.

“I don’t know, it’s heh heh too dark for me to see.”
This made me laugh .

Too dark for me to see... oh, great...!
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  #10  
09-05-2006, 11:13 AM
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Sorry no new part yet, but I can announce that the Slig now has a name, and no I’m not going to tell you it yet. XD

:
Cool! I liked that.

I'm wondering what happened to the Slig, though... Well can't do anything, but wait to read on!


Great job!
Thank you ^_^ I’ve written his past now, but I don’t think it’s dark enough. (Odd I normally make things too dark.)


:
Wicked fanfic, a nice pairing of a Slug and a Mudokon, I can't wait to read more!
Thanks, It’s an Oddworld ‘buddy movie’ ^_~ I’m half way through the next part now. ^_^


:
Ahah, this has potential! Very interesting, looking forward to finding out more about the slig, and what the two of them will do if and when they get out!
Thank you. ^___^ I know what happens when they get out, it’s getting them there that’s I’m having trouble with. XD


:
Cool story, Oddpaw!



This made me laugh .

Too dark for me to see... oh, great...!
*Evil grin* Now it’s the Slig’s turn to find out what it’s like to be blind. I’m glad you liked it.
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  #11  
09-05-2006, 03:33 PM
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“I don’t know, it’s heh heh too dark for me to see.”

Wait... is this the Slig saying this, or the Mud?

I thought that it ws the Mud, but after you saying that 'it's now the Slig's turn to see what it's like to be blind', I'm having second thoughts.
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  #12  
09-05-2006, 10:30 PM
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It was the Slig who said it .

Great shtuffs!
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  #13  
09-06-2006, 06:11 AM
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Wait... is this the Slig saying this, or the Mud?

I thought that it ws the Mud, but after you saying that 'it's now the Slig's turn to see what it's like to be blind', I'm having second thoughts.
E'l Scrabino is right, it's the slig that said it. *Edits post to make it clearer.*
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  #14  
09-12-2006, 03:52 PM
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Son of a something! I must have more of this story!
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  #15  
09-13-2006, 10:38 AM
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Blind Son of an odd damned Steef! I’ve updated!

This was hard! I wanted the slig to have done something REALLY bad something that would make me hate him, but I just couldn’t do it *Sob*

Ah well at least I’ve finally finished this part. X_X (How can something so small cause such problems ^^; )

The Odd Pair – Dark – 408

He really really didn’t want to die. That was the Sligs sole motivation, he didn’t want to die. It had only been an accident. A misfire.
He was a young slig, desperate to climb the ranks enough to get a gun and then a remote outpost where he could sleep the watch shifts away with his beloved arsenal at his side.
A pretty simple, and common dream.
But it was his.
At least until that brew drunk mudokon had tried to attack him.
He’d shot the idiot of course, that’s what sligs do.
But the gun had malfunctioned.
It kept firing until the magazine ran out.
By then two sligs and his commanders favourite slog were shot to death.
He got demoted for the death of the Sligs and had as punishment lost his beloved gun.
But when his commander found out that his slog was dead too.
That had earned him a one way ticket to his mothers dinner plate.
His legs had been taking off him and, now even weaker than the snivelling Mudokon worms he used to order around, it seemed like he was doomed.
At least until the slig guarding him had fallen asleep and he had figured out that sneaking away was easy without loud maniacal limbs to give you away.
Getting past the guard was easy, but getting out of the mine would be much harder and although he hated to say it, he hated to even think it.
But he couldn’t get out alone.
So why, why had the first living thing he had found been this stupid, blind, worse than useless mudokon!

“So what do we do now slig?”

An -annoying- stupid blind worse than useless mudokon!

“I have a name you know Eyeballs!”

“W-would you rather me call you my your name? A-ah, er, what is it?”

A -nosy- annoying, stupid, blind, worse than useless mudokon!

“Harass.”

“What do we do now Harass.”

“I don’t know! I can’t tell you which way to go, I can’t see! How do you stand it?”

“Stand what?”

“Being blind.”

“I never had a choice, but it’s not that bad. I can still hear smell and feel.”

“You are an idiot you do know that don’t you?” Harass snarled nastily.

“Yes Harass I know, I’m stupid.” But I’m not the one afraid of the dark.

“Hey why are you walking! Stop it! Stop walking before you take us off a ledge or something!”
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Last edited by Oddpaw; 09-13-2006 at 10:40 AM..
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  #16  
09-14-2006, 12:39 AM
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Hmm, interesting story I like it. Keep them up it's cool.



:
So why, why had the first living thing he had found been this stupid, blind, worse than useless mudokon!

...

An -annoying- stupid blind worse than useless mudokon!

...

A -nosy- annoying, stupid, blind, worse than useless mudokon!
These different comments between the texts made me laugh .
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  #17  
09-14-2006, 10:25 AM
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I really like that story, Oddpaw. I never could get such a fantasy to write a tale like that.
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  #18  
09-16-2006, 11:06 AM
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Same here.
I bet it becomes pretty interesting.
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  #19  
09-21-2006, 12:31 PM
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Tis very good. Bit like some of my old stories. Give us more, MORE!!!
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  #20  
10-22-2006, 12:00 AM
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Hey what's up, Oddpaw? Where are the new chapters?
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  #21  
10-22-2006, 04:42 PM
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Honestly, man. It's been like a month.
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  #22  
10-23-2006, 01:50 AM
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...so what?
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  #23  
10-24-2006, 01:06 AM
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But Creepy Doc's right, I wonder what happens next in this story too.
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