What YOU can do to help aliens take over, here
If you really wanted to help those gray-federation aliens take over here, what could you do to make it happen? Here's a handy, sure-fire scheme that's guaranteed to help you win friends AND get girls. Tired of feeling small and insignificant? Then this scheme is for you! (adult discretion advised):
If you completely wanted to sell out humankind to the alien colonizers, you'd join the most conservative Republican faction (like Rove, Abrams, Negroponte and Bushie Doe), then do all you could to steal from the poor, opress ALL people, destroy the US and any decent kind of government, especially the ecology--all the while preaching GOD and individual liberty, the need for the US to protect its own, insular lifestyle. Lie about all government crime so that it gets worse and worse, cause suspicion of all other nations, especially the World Court and the UN, and make sure the US gets as much narco money into its coffers as possible. You would promote narcotics, while pretending to fight them (i.e. FL heroin mug Porter Goss at CIA and former Honduras cocaine mug Negroponte at NIDS), create pockets of outrage that leads to terrorism while pretending to fight it. Use the narco $ to militarize the world, selling US arms to get control of the planet. Above all else: lie about aliens, let them do as THEY choose, without public criticism and drive the whole alien issue, plus government interactions underground. Make sure you look like you lead the most anti-alien faction in government (the cabal), even shoot down an occasional gray (they're expendable--after all, their whole world was sacrificed to conquer them). By being the most anti-alien faction you can both profit by militarization, and help hide the entire alien scheme to control this planet. Then, while it's all secret, let it get out of hand, let the colonizing aliens abduct and promote themselves, base themselves where they choose. Make the breeding program happen, don't wait around for humans to just "evolve." Link up with the richest of the rich, cut deals with the most corrupt in China and Russia, eliminate high ranking enemies of your takeover scheme in any superpower government.
Why stay home and watch TV when YOU could be out there, watching your alien friends run down and nab some of your neighbors' pesky children?
Of course, it would help to ~drop the genetic bomb: get the richest elites to volunteer some of their children to be genetically modified. If they resist, share the profits by bringing them in on manufacture of "captured" alien technology--this will bring rich elites back into your hands. Then get the Chinese to start genetic manipulations, plus a plan of one-year hospital stay for selected babies (so their brains can be enlarged, including the skull case, with sustained genetic amplification). This will cause western elites to begin their own brain enlargement (imagine getting emails: IMPRESS GIRLS--YOU COULD HAVE A BIG ONE!), which separates them from the average rabble. Suddenly, you have a super-intelligent elite that can control the planet easily (with brains that are just 1/5 larger, hence it's cosmetically discreet). They can work with the aliens, who own them completely, their industry, some of their politicians, and this helps aliens sow religious conflict--just like they always have!
And remember, just like our fearless leader, George Bush does, always keep the humans off balance. Never given an inch! Just when they seem to be gaining steam to make necessary corrections, slam them with a different crisis so that they can never be on top of the situation. Then plow from one crisis to another with stop-gap, short-term fear mongering. This will alarm and enrage the people, making them easier to manipulate. Be sure that all elections are electronic so they can be manipulated to keep corruption in power, forever. Get control of the press and feed the people infantile, feel good pabulum, help the aliens insert their operatives among conservative elites, then, just like majic, the entire planet can be made to go critical. But, just before it dies, while it's screaming on the operating table, YOU can help the aliens "save" it! Then disperse humans out into various "scientific" doings with the aliens, making it all too tempting an involvement to just end. Finally, there is a product that lets you use the new alien technologies to MAKE humans believe, to wow them with spectacles.
Have fun with this at parties! Create your own, hybrid enclave to lord it over the humans, coolly, not rudely. Just make sure that your hybrids are smarter than humans--so they'll think the hybrids know better than any human.
*Warning, continued use of this product can lead to certain side effects in about 3% of cases. Symptoms include: blurred vision, roving rashes and sudden, unexpected grins at socially inappropriate times, including secret laughter. If you've ever had a history of alcoholism, cocaine use or difficulty driving a motor vehicle, consult with your doctor before using. Not to be used while eating pretzels.
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