The Young Prince 2

[Abe16]

O.K., I'm working on The Young Prince2

Slam! jonathon's brother Ricardo slammed his fists on the table he was next to. "that blasted kid killed my brother!" Ricardo yelled. "I have to figure out a way to get rid of him! Think think think! And I know how to..." Ricardo said evily. At Luke's castle, he was watching T.V., His mom married a sensible man named Ron, and Luke's new dad was cleaning up the scrab mess. But later at Ricardo's hideout, "Alright boys! we'll leave for the kingdom, at dawn! So get a good's night sleep!"

Early next morning, the morning, the morning clakker screamed out what he usually does, "Cakkadoodledo-Ack!" The clakkker got killed! BOOM!!! "Alright boys! turn this kingdom to scrap!" Ricardo called out. "Ahhhhhhh!" the people said. "huh?What the!" Luke wonderd what was going on.The villagers were running and the armies were marching on to battle. "Son! get up! get dressed and get out of here! Your evil step-father's brother is destroying the kingdom, find the nearest and safest exit! we'll be with you in a moment." Ron said. so luke did so and waited for about 19 minutes, but no sign of them.

"com'on boys! destroy harder!!!!" Ricardo yelled at them. Although Luke's parents were still alive, Luke didn't think so, so he fell... asleep.

That's only one part, wait till you see the next!

[Phat_man]

It's great, but I found it a little harder to follow than the first.

[odd chick]

It sounds like all chaos has broke loose in this opening chapter! It's a good beginning, but I must admit that I liked the beginning of your first Young Prince story better.

[Abe16]

Sorry I haven't been on lately, I was Trieing to beat Munch's oddysee for the 4th time.

Everything was quiet, it had been morning. Ricardo had destroyed the whole kingdom. "Ya! We did it! There! take that! ya filthy muds!" ricardo said. you could see his eyes were turning redder then usual. "uhhhh, huh?" Luke grunted. Luke's paraents were in the castle, beat up and very red. "Mom! dad!" Luke cried. He went passed the burnt door and in the throne room, there was his parents. "Mom! Dad!No! what happend!" Luke cried again. "G-G-Go on!,there is another- city, go there, now!" lukes dad said. Luke packed the things that wern't burnt and walked out of the burned kingdom to the next city.

"whoa, nice city." Luke said. He went to the INN and asked for a bed. "Sure, take a nap. oh yeah, uh, $10 moolah." The clerk said. So Luke slept until Midnight, and boy did he need it. He awoke when the snoring of the clerk began. He left a tip on the counter and headed for a cozy spot, and fell asleep once again. The next morning he was awoken by busy streets. "he decided to eat one of his tastey homemade scrabcakes, and did, when.... "Yeah! alright boys, if anyone finds out, pin it on a mob of angry paramites and scrabs!" Ricardo said. "Right boss!" the sligs answerd. "Uhoh," Luke said. He wanted to punch Ricardo so hard his teeth fell out. Luke walked over and decided to take a punch. "Hey Poo brain!" Luke taunted. WHAM! "Owwwwww! what the hell! Come back here!" Ricardo yelled. Luke ran and ran and ran. until he reached a brick wall. he ha d no choice but to try to jump it. "Uh!" Luke grunted. he made it! "where is the little punk!?" Ricardo said. "Phew that was a close one, huh?" Luke said.

I'm tired, I'm going to bed, i'll write more.

[odd chick]

There is only one thing that bothered me about that chapter-what exactly happened to Luke's parents? Did they live? Did they die? You never specified what happened there. Other than that, it was a decent chapter. I want to see where this story leads because I think it has potential.

[Angel-FoX-crescent]

I hope Luke's parents are cool as it would be a bummer if they have gone "sniff"

Cool work abe16 ^-^

[Phat_man]

Your leaving too many of the actions out and it's making it sort of confusing.

[Abe16]

Sorry, I'll try to make it less confusing.

"A blimp? Out here! must be the poo brains. Eh, what the heck. I'll fly it." Luke said hopping on. "Wait till I find that little- WHAT THE HECK! Someones flieing my BLIMP!" Ricardo screamed shocked. "Well dont just stand there! use yer jetpacks! And the rest of you, destroy this town, but first, call reinforcements." Ricardo said again. Fwoosh, fwoosh, fwoosh, fwoosh! "Hello!!? yeah its me! we need reinforcements!" A Minion said. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! Four building went down already! "Uh,*click*" Luke studderd. That button made missles fly out! "Ahhhh!*Boom!" The minion blew up! Boom, boom, boom! The three other minions blew up as well! "Yeah! I did it! oh ya! Wha-!" luke said. The blimp was out of gas! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!Uh!!!!" Luke fell! bjut was caught by his parents! "Mom Dad! You're Alive!" Luke cried out, but just then, it all went black. BAM!



Before Luke knew it, he was locked up in a cage ith his parents locked up too. "uhhhhhhhh, wha-what happened?" Luke asked. "hehehe, why you're in the lair my brother once owned, but that doesn't matter now. You are going to be , ummm, how should i say this? Disected by my vykker friend." Ricardo answerd. "I have already taken over the kingdom and city. nothing else you can do!" Ricardo yelled at them. Luke soon noticed he can bend the bars! While Ricardo lauighing and drinking brew, he quickly bended the bars that held his mom and dad. They thought they could sneak out, but a chant supressor and a camera spotted them! "Alert! Alert! 3 Mudokons trieing to sneak ou!" the alarm said. "What the heck! Come back here!" Ricardo yelled. Luke and his parents ran through the halls trieing to find the exit. But what they didn't know was that Abe was trieing top find something to blow this place up!

"Uh!" Luke bumped into Abe! "Hey y-you're Abe! the savior of the mudokons! We need you're help escaping!" Luke cried. "well first we have to blow his place up!!" Abe said. They ran through the halls and found the boiler room. Abe turned the wheel and they all jumped into he well they were next to. "Wait, someone set off the boiler!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ricardo yelled. he and his squd quickly ran into the wll. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! the place blew up. "Grrrrrrr! follo those footprints!" Ricardo commanded.

There! phew!I make more.

[odd chick]

That chapter was a little better than your last one. And I'm glad that Luke's parents are still alive. Nice work, Abe16.

[Abe16]

Thanks Oddchick.


Ricardo and his troops were following the footprints made by Luke,Abe and his parents. Unfortuneatly where Luke was heading was A forest filled with paramites, scrabs and rapid fuzzles! "SCREEEEEEECH!" A scrab screeched out loud. "uhoh! we're toast!" Luke said. "yodoyodoyodoyodo.." Abe chanted. "Yahhhhhhhhh!"Wham,wham wham!,! "Ack!" the evil minion mudokon was dead. "Run!" Abe yelled. They ran past the hungry scrabs and paramites! "Go on! I have a plan! " there he is! get him!" Ricardo said. "yodoyodoyodo, Roooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!" abe screeched turning into the shrkull. "What the heck!" Ricardo said suprised. And Abe ran off. "uhhhh, what happended?" A minion said. "Dont just stand there! Get him!" Ricardo commanded.

Luke got caught in a scrab trap! "hehe! got ya now scrab bait! what!! a mudokon! better then a scrab!" The slig said. the slig locked Luke in his jail car. "Help!!!!" luke cried. "com'on! we have to save Luke!" Abe said. "So, what do you have for me now..." a glukkon asked. "I have a mudokon! of all the luck!" the slig said. "Good. i will see to it that you will have a promotion." The gluk said. "Yes!" the slig cheered. The slig went back to the camera monitors. "ah, almost to the president of security!" the slig said. "Yodoyodoyodo." abe chanted. "Yahhhhh!....Ack!" the slig exploded. "com'on! we're almost there!" Abe said.

"I wonder where no. 19744463456 is." the glukkon wonderd.
There. I know its short, but I have lots of other Ideas.

[Greeter]

Cool Story! Abe16!

[Abe16]

Okay! here goes!

"Do you think he's alright?" the dad asked. "Dont worry, i usually get him out before they turn him into lunch." Abe said. "LUNCH!" Luke's parents screamed. "Hey! what was that!?" The gluk asked out loud. "uhoh! shhhh, he can sence fear." Abe warned. "r-r-really?" the queen asked. "Naw, but it sound catchy huh?" Abe said. LOL. "Yodoyodoyodoyodoyodo." abe Chanted. "Yahhhhhhhh!!!, ACK!" The glukkon blew up! "Com'on, he's over here." abe said. "Abe, mom, dad, you came to rescue me!" luke said. abe slapped the lock and it came undone. "Owwwwww!Try slapping a lock with your bare hand!" abe said. "we have to get out of here! but how!" Abe xonderd. "How about that emergency exit?" Luke said. "Oh, that would work too." abe said. "Look! It's them! get'em!" Ricardo commaned. "Uhoh!" Abe said. "I thought we lost them!" The king said.


Half a mile later, three of Ricardo's men were down, either tired from running, or being eaten by a paramite or scrab. Only two men and Ricardo left. Luke thought, and thought, and thought while running. Then he got it! He took his marbles from the pocket from his loin cloth and threw them on the floor! "see ya next fall!" Luke teased. "Woah!OW!" The two men were out. Now it was only Ricardo and them, And boy was that road long! Soon be, The king, queen and Luke had climbed up a tree. "Ha! Ya scared of me!? Ya should be!" Ricardo taunted. just then a loose branch hit ricardo on the noggin. "hehe, mommy, my choo-choo train fell in the piano." wham. stars were soon over Ricardo's head. "quick, he'll be up in couple of seconds." Abe said.

They soon made it to the next city, and went to INN. "Ya, we would-" Abe was stopped. "Yahoo! It's Abe!" the clerk said. You and your friends can stay free!" the clerk said. "uh, thaanks." Abe thanked the clerk and they all went to bed.

Ya, i'll write more!soon.

[Phat_man]

Much better. This shaping up to be one awesome story.

[Angel-FoX-crescent]

Cool as always ^-^

[odd chick]

Sorry I didn't reply sooner-I was doing school work. Those were nice chapters, Abe16. I especially liked this part:
"uhoh! shhhh, he can sence fear."
"r-r-really?"
"Naw, but it sound catchy huh?"

Great job with this story, Abe16! It's starting to get even better!

[Abe16]

Thanks!

The next morning, Abe awoke to the smell of bacon, (from a scrab), Eggs, (laid by a clakker), and some fresh orange Juice. "*sniff sniff* Yum, what's that smell?" Abe asked. 'Oh That's the smell of breakfast. see we dont make breakfast that often, but since you saved me from Rupture farms it's exceptable. i'm No.99." the mudokon clerk said. "uh, right! I remeber you!" abe lied. Abe shared his breakfast with Luke, the queen and King."So, does this town lead to the kingdom?" the queen asked. "yeah, you should see it, the king and queen went missing. And its townsfolk are trieing to clean up the mess that ouccerd three days ago." The clerk explained. "oh, well i'm going anyway." the queen replied. And they left for the kingdom. soon, Ricardo came in with a gun he stole from a slig! "Hey! did ya see four mudokons around here!?" Ricardo asked violently. "yes, uh they went to the direction of the kingdom over there." the clerk answerd. "Grrrr, they will pay!" Ricardo said.

One of the villagers reported seeing a big red-eyed mudokon with a gun, and the queen, king, the prince and Abe walking toward the kingdom. soon, they reached the Kingdom! "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!" the mudokon villagers yelled for joy! "the QUEEN IS BACK!" One of the villigers said. "NOT FOR LONG!" Ricardo said thus making me put flaming smilies over this part. "... Go beat'em up!" Luke said. "hey! that's my line!" abe whined.LOL. BAM BAM BAM! "Grrrrrr! Get off ofme you worthless weak mudokons! OW!" ricardo flamed. Luke had thrown a rock at Ricardo's head! Then, the vykker, through a sawbone and missed on purpose as a threat! "So! Who wants to get fixed!" The Vykker said while getting out a saw bone and snoozie gun.

Luke quickly got his snuzie and shot 30 pills and him, then he fell asleep. 'Yaaaaaaa! we bad we bad!" Everyone there said. Thus putting Ricardo in jail, and Abe moving on, and everything returned to normal... Or Did IT!? Read The Young Prince 3! Coming soon to a forum near you.

[odd chick]

That was a nice story, Abe16, but this story , just like several of your other stories, was too short. I know you probably get tired of hearing that from everyone, but that chapter went by so fast. It felt like there was really no climax because it all went so fast. But other than that, it was pretty good. I can't wait to read your next story.