Some story of some sort

[Adder]

Firstly, I'm not the sad bastard who calls himself Adder, rather I'm his unfortunate "friend"/Managing Editor of http://www.gamerseurope.com who was forced to post this. So mods/admins, I'm aware of the IP discrepencies.

He left this message:

Hello, everyone.

This is my first attempt to write something on Muds.
The first part of a story that might go on forever, or until the next phone bill follows.
Please express your views (unless they're too negative <:-[ ).
Slán abhaile! (that means goodbye - non-Adder person)
did I mention, I'm Irish???
Also, I got all 28 Muds out of rupture farms. d%^)

If you were wondering about the aurora, that's mine - my god-like status has that effect on people within a three mile radius. I can sell you sunglasses at €35 each. Or go blind - whatever.

As for why I didn't just post the file, you've got a PHP error, so someone around here's not being very professional:
Warning: stat failed for C:\WINNT\TEMP\php2916.tmp (errno=2 - No such file or directory) in D:\InetPub\oddworld\forums\admin\functions.php on line 1688


I'll be off, I think I've made my presence felt by the masses.

(Adder says "Wanker to friend")

My name is Carin. I'm just another Mud slave to everyone in Scrab Cake Factory #307.
The great rebellion began close by in Rupture Farms, everyone knows about it, even the sligs.
"Wanted: Abe" posters appeared about 2 months ago. I want to be free, who doesn't, but the cost is too high. I'd rather live a slave than die, or worse, trying to be free. There's 10 fools I
know who are trying to escape. There were 15, I saw what happened to the other 5. You don't forget it something like that, when a glukkon tries to make sure no one else follows their example. And even then, that was a selfish act, 15 friends not caring about ANYTHING but themselves.
I'd hate to see what happens to Abe, if they ever get him.

It started when I was forced to work, over 10 years ago, so I'll shorten it.

I knew there were condemned areas of the factory that sligs loafed off at, any mudokon nearby was soon beaten. I accidentally stumbled on one as I was trying to avoid a big-bro slig who hated me (Long story, maybe in Part III you'll find out). It would have been better if he got me. 5 sligs gave me one hell of a beating, even hung me from my mouth staples, just low
enough so that my feet barely touched the ground. The agony spread all the way to my shoulders, the skin pulled tight and muscle felling as if it was being ripped. Luckily, the big-bro had seen me try to hid and when he saw 5 of his own loafing off he gave them all a few digs. Then he turned to me and cut me down. "You tell anyone 'bout this, you'll be lookin' for your head in one of the meat vats, y'hear me, arsewipe!" "Yes, sir", I said quickly. "Why you still hear? GO!"
He whacked me with his gun in my back. I almost fell, lucky I didn't, they would of jeered and
beaten me. I ran top speed, well, I hopped quickly, one of my legs felling dislocated.

Before I even got away there was an announcement for a "worker" meeting. I thought someone must
have picked up a grenade, last time one went missing we were given no food for 10 days, turned
out a slig had pushed the button once too many and forgot to tell anyone. (Why did glukkons make
grenade machines that mudokons can use anyway, why not use a slig fingerprint or something?)
Anyway, they paraded 3 of the escapees out on stage. Then our sales rep. gave a speech:

"It has come to my attention that some of you that work for us are not happy with your
conditions" If it wasn't for the sligs nearby I would have passed comment. "Let me assure you,
if you don't like your conditions they can get worse! Just like what’s about to happen now.
These shits behind me tried to sneak away into a crate of Scrab Cakes. Of course, they
were found and captured"

"Now", he turned to face them. "Who else was in on this pitiful attempt for an escape, well?!".
The captured just stood still. "Not gonna talk?! Okay, hey 51879b get up here!" A slig quickly
showed up. I noticed he had a chisel and hammer, so did the captives. "Lets see if you can talk
at all. The middle one" The slig stepped towards the one in the middle, his name was Quitel. I
knew what was coming. He put the chisel on Quitel's sternum. Quitel trembled with fear and tried
to move back. That’s when I noticed his legs were chained to his associates. He fell backwards.
"No!, please no! I...I'll tell you anythi" "SHADAP!!! Do it!" The slig let the hammer fly.
CRACK
The blood-curling scream that came from Quitel almost made me sick, never mind the spray of
blood and loud sound of bone splintering. He fell to the ground and rolled in pain. The slig
grabbed him and forced him to his feet, then kept him standing. He was trembling in shock, I
knew he would die from it soon, if he was lucky. His breast bone was totally split, the rip in
his skin stretched for a while, the bones pushing against it. Then his chest sprung open, skin
shredding, until a void of about 4 inches was left oozing blood. His guts started seeping out,
falling on his feet.
From when I had to clean a paramite, I recognised his heart, like a red slurg pulsating rapidly.
All the sligs were loving it. One of them beside me said "2 brew says he dies in under a minute" "You're on!"
Quitel was held up for almost 30 seconds, it felt like an hour to me, trembling and bleeding,
shaking, howling in agony.

The other 2 stood as still as they could, knowing worse could happen to them.
The sales rep chuckled and said "That's enough, get that b@$t@rd outa here"
The slig unlocked the centre lock of the chain and dragged Quitel trough the crowd.
When he passed right by me, I could see his eyes still darting in pain, heard faint whispers
of agony rushing through his bloody mouth. His eyes looked into mine, he sighed.
He knew I thought he was a fool for trying to escape. I noticed he wasn't looking AT me,
his eyes had stopped moving, he died realising he was wrong.

"Now, who else was part of your gang. You tell me, I'll just shoot you, don't and you'll end up
worse than your shitface of a dead friend"

[Stripe]

Can't wait! You must write more!!

[Adder]

Thankx, I've got the plot 4 next section.

[Splat]

That was making me shudder and cringe! Lots of gore and a little to much detail! Can't wait for the next chapter!

[The Red Muse]

...brrr... scary! But, I kinda liked it tough. Keep writing!

[sligster]

JEEZE!!!!!! So much blood.......So much gore......So much detail......THIS IS MY KIND OF STORY!!!! PLEASE WRITE MORE!

[Adder]

Dia duit! gach duine.
Here it is, the second gore fest

One of the other captives looked nervous. His name was Resbunt, he was Quitel's best friend. I didn't know the name of the other mudokon, just another fool to me. The glukkons also saw Resbunt's worry. "You, twitchy. Got anything to say? I mean, before I kills yeh" "Nnn...no sir" "TO BAD", he turned to the slig. "Do the other one" The slig stood in front of the unknown captive. Whatever his name was, he spat straight in the slig's eye. "FOOL", shouted the sale rep., all the mudokons were cheering, except Resbunt who looked like he was going to pass out. "You think you can get us all", said the spitter with pride. "We don't have to take any orders from yo-" He never got to finish. The slig rammed his knife into his neck, straight through his windpipe, but purposely short of his spine.

His face started to show the pain, changing colour, his mouth flapping trying to utter a howl of pure agony. "Spin it" The slig obeyed his glukkons master. The sound of air bubbling through the blood was awful. The mudokon sunk to the ground and started shaking. "Now, through his skull" Even for a slig it took effort, the first blow only splitting skin. On the second the slig tried using more than just his hand, he got his gun and used it as a hammer.
Again he failed. "Forehead you arsewipe" The slig obeyed his master, like a slog. A great cracking sound rang out when the gun butt landed on the knife. I could see the crack under the skin, it stretched back for 3 inches. The shaking, which had turned into a spasm, suddenly stopped. The slig laughed, like a slog with a bone. I've always hated sligs because they don't bother to get their own rights, they just abuse mudokons like me.
"Then there was one. You as stupid as the others or do you want to die painlessly?" I looked at Resbunt and was surprised. He wasn't shaking or sweating, he wasn't nervous or anxious. I guessed his mind cracked at the sight of two of his own falling in agony by a f***ing slig and a wanker of a glukkons. "I...I can't...I...Ye-es", was all he could say.

"You'd better, unless you want to end up worse!" I hoped Resbunt had cracked enough for him to forget the others, 2 brutal killings was enough for me. "He wanted to do it, I asked him not to-" "WHO", shouted the glukkons. "Karnor, he made me join. So did Wentral. I only wanted to get...to get... to die in the tank." The two named mudokons froze, sligs didn't know all our names. Stay still and they never have to. One took a risk, he tried fleeing. "SHOOT"

BANG

It struck him low, knocking him to the ground. His howls of agony showed he was pegged in the stomach. His screams stopped only to condemn Resbunt. The other mudokon might have got away, if the glukkons wasn't so smart. "Where's the other one, the one who made you join" Resbunt pointed to a mudokon in the front row. "HE...he......why did you DO that?" Before Resbunt broke into crying the mudokon had been captured. He was Demrof, not a friend of mine, but no idiot like the others. "I didn't do anything. I swear. Please! He's...he's gone mad!" I knew he was telling the truth, he wasn't proud, he didn't struggle. The two sligs who held him walked away. He did the same, not resisting. Every mudokon noticed this, I think the glukkons did also, he never passed comment. "You, take that slurg away", said the judge facing Resbunt. "Put him in a high cell I'll want more out of him, later"
For once I thought I saw a glukkons display sympathy.
If Demrof said his name, the sligs would retighten his staples.
They wouldn't want any excuse for a glukkons to discipline them.

[Splat]

Poor mudokons! That was sick! I hape demrof gets away with it ! I wonder what theyre gonna do with Rasbunt. Cant wait for the next chapter!

[Adder]

[/I]"Once more onto the breach dear friends"

I never saw Domrof again. I saw Resbunt, if it was still him. A corpse was found in the cooling vats. It had sighns of massive torture, broken bones, no skin, face burned, mouth sealed shut by a red hot iron rod. I doubted a glukon would go that far.
As I stared at him being removed, a thought came into my head.
"YOU DID THIS, CAIRIN. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT"
It wasn't my voice I heard, if I even heard it. It was like it was placed in my head. I looked around at the other mudokkons, a small croud, maybe 10. None of them were paying me attention. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a blue leg step behind another vat.

"Abe is here!?"

"What'd you say, arsewipe" It was that big bro who hated me.Just my luck(!) "Nothing!", I said quickly. He didn't buy it. "Then what do you say NOW" He brought his railgun swinging around, straight to my side. I fell heavily, rolling over a few times. I heard a crack but ignored it. "Not enough!?! Have another!" "N..." He shoved the but into my chest before I could finish. Crap, he wanted a scream and I'm winded I gasped for air, kneeling infront of him, hoping it would do. "That's more like it, scared as a slurg" He spat on my face, then walked off laughing. Once he was gone I noticed the pain. Okay, that's a broken rib.

It was then I was certain, trying a rebellion to escape without the help of the sligs was useless.

I can still remember how it started, the big bro's hate for me. I was still in my rebelion stage, young and nieve. I was working picking rib cages clean. He was still an ordinary slig, but he got his stim-pack soon after. As a joke I threw the sturnem, sharp enough as it was broken, at his back. My aim was terrible and I caught his left hand. I still enjoy the memory of him screaming, but not that much. The finger furthest from his thumb was slissed almost totaly through. His friend, another ordinary slig singled me out as the thrower. "You're gonna pay for that, you...you little arsewipe!", said the injured. He ran to a medic-lab. Next time I saw him, he was a big bro. "REMEMBER ME?! YOU WILL SOON!" He grabed me, threw me to the ground and then held my neck down with his monserous, scared hand.
I blacked out, but woke up with a lot of bruses and a broken leg. My rib was broken, it swelled out into a huge brown lump, bulging for almost 2 inces out of my chest. It was my fault he hates ME more than anyone else.
(But I learned from it, sligs are cowards without a stim-pack. He kept singling me out from then, always me.)
I awoke in a worker medi-hut. It was just a group of Mudokkons who had to stop bleeding and make sure we could walk, breath, and work. "He's awake", said one of the 3 I could see. "Good, get him out then", said another. I tried to speak "What...about...my...leg" It hurt to breath, but that didn't matter to much. "Shuddap, you no good slurg" I looked at the second, a look of query on my face. "You gave away our leader to he sligs, you wanker!" Abe? "No. HIM. The ONE" How did he...I must still be asleep "He doesn't even know HIM, how could he tell", said the one who was silent until now. I was glad someone was on my side. "Fine", said the second, the leader i guest. "Splint the leg and get'im outta here"

That was only the start, all muddokons avoided or shunned me. This left me open for more beatings by the sligs. It was just as I was being beaten for the third time in one day, about a week after my leg broke that I remembered.
[I]Who the hell is Karnor? Resbunt mentioned him, but pointed at Demrof.
Where IS Demrof anyway?

[Splat]

that was really freaky ad confusing, WHATS GOIN ON?!Whos gonna die next? Will Abe come? Should we start runnin and screamin yet (not a good idea for me, ive got my sisters labtop on my lap)? What the fuzz will happen next? Give me an answer now! Please!

[Adder]

Sorry it's taking so long for the next part (writers block).
I'm also going to post a newer version on my website...as soon as I find webspace.

[Splat]

Here are some ideas that might get through your block,
Blood, pain, Abe saving the day, hesitation, more pain, more Blood, screaming, daring rescue.
Any ideas yet? (And heres a hint, plan a story in your head before you start writng it. If you do this already and you just cant think of how to lay out the next chapter, then no offence)

[Adder]

FINALLY, it's done!(Well...this part anyway) All I need now is a title, any ideas are welcome.

Part 4

Karnor...Karnor...Why is it so familiar???
It haunted me for weeks, but I had little else to do. Everyone shunned me. If I find him, if it's a person, I wonder if he'll help me.
"DON'T COUNT ON IT" "Who said that?!" There was no one around me. "Who's there?" I searched for anyone in the storage room I was in. Nothing but scrab cakes.
"HE WILL GET YOU, CAIRIN" Wait, I heard of HIM, but where? "THEY DID NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE SAYING. HE WILL RISE ABOVE ALL, CAIRIN. YOU WILL BEG FOR MERCY"
They can't. But they are reading my mind. How?!? "THAT IS NOT ALL I CAN DO. TRY THIS SLICE"
The pain came from nowhere, like a bomb inside my skin, exploding near my shoulder. "Aaaaghhh!!!" "THINK OF HOW QUITEL FELT! YOU KILLED HIM" What?! I didn't "YOU DID. BY TELLING OF US YOU MADE US KILL HIM. OTHERWISE THEY MIGHT HAVE KILLED HIM"

"You made him insane to save yourself!?!" "YOU MADE US. HE WAS PURE, YOU ARE CORUPT." "How?! What did I do?!" "HE SAW YOU WHEN HE DIED. HE KNEW IT WAS YOU. I SEARCHED THROUGH HIM. I FOUND YOU, CAIRIN. I SAW YOU GIVING HIM INTO THE HANDS OF THE GLUKONS"
"What!! I didn't do anythi-" The pain stuck again, worse this time. I rolled on the ground in an agony that should not have been there. Get out of me! I had to vision of my enemy. I had to grab his mind out of mine.
"ABE IS NOTHING COMPARED TO HIM. YOU CANNOT HOPE F...MERCY" Push it away, PUSH IT AWAY It was helping, he was losing his grip. I found myself shouting: "I WILL NOT FALL TO YOU. I DID NOTHING WRONG. YOU WILL CROUCH TO ME...KARNOR"

I didn't realise until later that night what I had said. Karnor left me alone after that, well at least for that day. I tried to mumble or scatter my thoughts to hide myself, how many could read me??? Karnor was wrong, but who else would he tell?
How many thought I was to blame for 2 or 3 deaths?!

I knew one think: I had to find Karnor. Was he the leader of the ten that were still alive and trying to escape?
A few days passed, and no one tried to possess me. Everyone looked suspicious to me, I was going insane.
I became paranoid, even the sligs could tell. The tended to whisper when I came near, or walk behind me to really piss me off. One good thing was they didn't beat me as much as they used to.
I was sweeping a corridor the next time someone entered me.
"CAIRIN, I WISH TO HELP YOU" Not again!!! LEAVE ME NOW
"NO, YOU WILL COME TO ME"

Pain engulfed my whole body. I couldn't try to escape his hold, all I could think of was the pain. I blacked out.

It stopped. I had been moved to another area, I didn't know where. There was a cell in front of me, with a single mudokon inside. He had a metal belt twisted around his chest, making him breath short heavy breaths.
"You...ca...to...hel...me...Cai......I...nee...you" He kept stopping to breath in.
Poor sod. He can't even TALK with that thing on his body
"Ple...hel...me......Le...me...in...you"
What??? "Cairin, help me to escape. I'll save you if you help. Please, let me become you." GET OUT!!!
I stumbled to the side, I could feel him shift out of me, then float back in. "You must help!" No! But this will stop you.
I stepped quickly to the side and punched where my chest was a moment ago.
"N..." I winded him, if that was possible. He had to struggle just to gasp like he used to.
"C...you...can...t...do...t" He stopped trying to speak, concentrating on breathing instead. It was then I knew who he was!
"Demrof! It's you, isn't it!?"
"Es......please...the...out...si..d...nee...me"
"Outside? What do you mean? Did some escape!?"
"No......I...have...co...d......nee...to...sen...mes...age......I....sho...you"
He entered my mind again, slower this time, making sure I allowed it. He showed me his past, all the rebellious. "No", I said in disbelief.

I thought there were around 15! There was a huge group, at least 50 all standing around...

HIM

[Splat]

Wow, creepy!

[Adder]

Okay, I realy need a title. I just got a domain at blinkster.com/adder (anyone know how to upload?)

Please anyone, evenb Admin.s, help me with a title!!!

[Splat]

if you tell us whats gonna happen we might come up with a title. On the other hand you could just not give it a title then edit one in when you come up with a good one. A title aint that important ya know!

[Adder]

Okay, I got the domain for my website. This story is the greater part of it. I still need help with a title. ANYONE got an idea??? (Splat, the reason I can't tell you the plot is I don't know how this story will end. I've already thought of 3 endings, and I doubt any one of them will be a final draft. To quote: "The river will flow where it will, I cannot change it's course."~Larex)


Part 5

Cairin wasn't showing me his past as such. He gave me his memories. After I saw HIM in front of the crowd I saw how he got their attention. Not something you'd see every day, just to get attention anyway. He walked into the room, I think it was in the mudokon "residence", and stood on a crate in the middle of the room. A few people turned their heads to look, then turned away. Then he turned blue. There was a gasp, every single eye was on him, people too frightened to speak. Then he told everyone why he was there...or rather, let them know. I guess he was able to send thought telepathically like Demrof had done to me. He walked out of the room. Everyone looked at each other, most followed him. "Karnor, you not going?", it was me, I mean Cairin, that said it. KARNOR! Where is he? But Demrof must not have seen him either. I heard no reply and saw no one. Damn! Who the hell is he!?!
It's weird. From then on I knew who HE was. I couldn't remember not knowing HIM.
He had basically explained of the RIS (some Mudokons who had escaped). Once they were out, they sent messages in past sligs. Now that a code had been made, they needed it to be used for security. They didn't want to end up setting a meeting place only to find out the sligs knew.
I knew why Demrof had to be free, he had the code. Unfortunately, I also knew how he was tortured. I could fell the pain, hear his feeble screams, smell the scorched flesh of his back. He didn't just posses me, he opened my mind, and gave some of his to me.
"Now you know, you must help me" How? "I can control you fully. Let me, just to send the message" What will become of me while you do it? "I don't know"
Then how can I trust I'll be safe?
He paused. It couldn't have been at a worse time. All I could do was stare at him and wait. It seemed to stretch on forever, me anxious to find out, him breathing heavily.
"If you help me, all of us might get free. If not RIS might destroy the next who tries to contact" Then why don't I send the message for you? "The code is harder than you think, and writing it isn't the problem. It's too hard to sneak past the guards without knowing them. You wouldn't stand a chance"
"I know you'll help. Look around, nothing but broken down rebels. They don't come here to question us, Cairin. They wait until we crack, then while we're raving mad they gather info, then kill us. But that doesn't mean they don't guard us. You can't escape from here without me, I know you'll help." Blackmail. Nice. Tell me how to posses, then I'll let you...use me.
"No...It can't be learned. You must know how, you need to be able to tap into your minds power." Wait...
A memory flashed in my head. It nagged at me for a while before I knew what it was. No, you can transfer what I need to do to do it. I know you can.

Another horrible pause, longer than the first.

"I gave you too much information. Well...more than I meant to. You know me now, Cairin, the real me. I can't keep secrets from you."
But you already know how to do it, you just can’t remember I'll give you time"
Another image flashed in my head, a bad one. I saw a mudokon, skinny, almost dead, strung up on a wall by two ropes around his upper arms. I stood looking through a small door opposite him. In the tiny room there was no opening for air or light. Then I noticed the tubes.
There were 2 of them, one looked empty, the other pumped a grey slush like porridge through. They both went in his mouth. I stood there, staring, not able to help him. The image lasted for a second, but I knew a lot more about it than from looking at it.

What was that? Cairin just stared at nothing for a while. "Your future. The guards are coming Cairin. And they think you're more a threat than me" His heavy breathing turned to a sickly chuckle. Then a door opened behind me. I turned and was met by the butt of a gun.
I came around in a small room, stretched out on a table with a blinding light above my head. "What..?"
"Hey boss, he's awake", said a slig to my left. I tried to sit up, only to discover I was tied down. "Good"

The second voice came from a glukkon.
Oh shit!
"Now, how did you get into the rebel cells? Well?!?"
"Um. I...I don't know" "Wrong answer"
Then it began, the second worst time of my life. I guess the slig got an instruction. The middle of the table I was on lifted upward, forcing my arms and legs straight and my back to arch painfully. It stayed there for a few seconds before lurching suddenly. It felt as if my spine was breaking, my shoulders ready to rip straight off.
"AAAAAAGGGGHHH"

[Splat]

Ow!

What i meant was tell us what happened in the chapter. But hows this:

Unwelcome glimps!

If you think its rubbish, sorry. But the chapter isn't. How do you come up with these things?

Note: If you do write a new story decide whats gonna happen in it before you start writing, it makes it easier.

[Adder]

No, this isn't the sixth part (sorry!), i've hit a major block in writing this part.
I'm trying to tie up most lose ends and end this story in 6 parts, so I've got to get this just right! If you can't wait, I've re-written most of the other 5 parts on my web-site (Cairin's Tale ). The plot's the same, but all the major holes and gaps have been filled!
This will not be the last of Cairin and the other characters, I'm more than likely going to write more, I just have to end this story.


(On an unrelated note, I'm amased this thred is still open! I doubt anyone's been coming here for quite some time. And they complain of crowding!)


Once again, sorry for the delay!

~Adder

[Splat]

DELAYS ARE EVIL! BURN THE EVIL DELAYS!!!

[Adder]

"And it keeps going without halt, forever growing till sea consumed." ~Larex
"Well, I finally got to an ending, not the ending. But I am going to stop writing on Cairin for a while, to recuperate my ideas.
Also, I'm running out of river metaphors.
Maybe I'll make it a trilogy..." ~Adder


[size=large]Part 6[/size]

The one thing you never get used to is pain.
"Now. How did you get past security"
It was hard to speak in the agony of being bent backwards.
"I...I...don't know. I...went...into...aaaahhh! A...trance....
I didn't....know...how...I...got...there. Ple...please!!!"

"Do you think he chanted... like Abe can?" said the slig, a slight worry in his voice.
"He'd better not have. No, there were too many sligs around. One acting suspicious would've been killed. Remember, 'no mistakes, kills make cakes' "

"Please, I know- AAGH!!!" my left arm sprung out of place.
"Demrof! It was Demrof! Please stop! He brought me there."

"Ahhhh... Fool, giving up so easy. Where is this Demrof?"
"He...he was in the cell in front of me...Please, stop. STOP!"
There was silence for a short time, the only sound coming for my own whimpering.

"Um. Should I release him, boss?"
"No. Let him pay for his traitor-like ways for a while."

"Please, no!"
But my plea fell on evil ears. As the glukkon walked away, the slig made the table center rise higher. My other arm was ripped out of its socket. I was in too much agony to scream this time.
The slig stayed, laughing at me, for a while as I lay there bent backwards in agony. He must have got bored so he hit the release.
The table went straight to flat. So did my body. He left me whimpering, quivering for a while. There was nothing I could do but lye there crying. I'd more than likely die, and I'd probably killed Demrof as well.
The slig brought his gun down, again, on my head. Once more I was plunged into darkness.

I awoke to see a light. No, it was more an inferno coloured white, in front of me. I couldn't move, couldn't think. I just lay there, or stood I'm not to sure, stareing. I stayed like that for a while, then it changed. Something happened, I was suddenly falling through a forest. Tree branches were ripping at my skin, hurting me less than I thought they should have. The ground rushed up. I forced my eyes closed...
And saw Demrof.
"Cairin...I'm sorry" He lifted his head to look at me. He was just standing in the room, looking at me.
I stared at him for some time before saying "Why?" His face was different, but I couldn't realise why.
"I'm sorry..." I blinked. He vanished.
"What happened to your other eye?!" I shouted as soon as he had gone. That was it, his eye was missing...Wait! How could I not notice that!
I rubbed my face to try and clear my thoughts...

"I never thanked you" I stared at him in disbelief. Partially because of what he said. Partially because he, the big-bro who hates me, had just appeared.What? Thanked?!
Where am I?
"After you cut me, I kept getting slagged by all the other sligs. After a while I cracked and ended up killing one of them...
One who was going to be promoted to a big brother slig. They decided to give it to me instead."
Wow...I made a slig kill his brother. Cool! I was listening while trying to piece together how I got there.
"Anyway, I know what the glukkons want to do to you. It's not good. Heck, I doubt Abe would get much worse." He paused, as if thinking deeply. I'm in a cell. And looks like I'm tied to the wall. Crap, what next.
"I'll probably get into shit about this but I don't care." He raised his gun. "Thank you."
His finger twitched. "N..." I didn't even get to finish the word. I felt the hot bullet on my forehead, then the pain as it drove into my skull.
A horrible crack filled my ears.

A wave of pain washed over me, my thought flashing by my eyes all at once. There was a gap that I could distinguish, but couldn't recognise happening:

I had a mudokon in a headlock, I didn't know who. He knew I could snap his neck, or even make him suffer. I had decided a dead enemy was better than risking his escape. I reefed on his skull, trying to twist his head off. My arms were shaking under the strain. Just...another...inch...

A wave of pain, and back to the slig. He just stood there, gun still raised, but my eyes soon clouded over.

Another wave of pain, then somehow relief. Relief as nothingness consumed me. I felt, saw, heard...
Nothing. Not even darkness, just a total lack of everything or anything. The void and abyss, as one. Blank of thought, of sense, of light, pain, as if everything had slipped away.
And it stayed that way...
Forever...

[Splat]

THat was a great story, sad ending, but great. Very well written, great ideas, wish it was longer but very good. Now I'm going off to be depressed at such a depressing ending.

[Adder]

Originally posted by Splat
That was a great story, sad ending, but great. Very well written...

HA!!
After re-reading this version I am amased at the number of plot holes.
As for a longer version, check out the web-site. I added some small parts that might improve the overall plot development.

Thank you, Splat. You've been wit this story since the start!
^.^

[Splat]

Yup, and it was really very sick all the way...

Why did it have to end? WHY?!!!

Wierd, I normally hate gore and such!

[Adder]

Actualy, I had to end this section in a rush, and I'm not that happy with it now.

I just couldn't let it keep going on, and on, and on.

I'm more than likely going to come up with a different ending though...
I'll keep you informed!