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  #1  
07-06-2003, 12:51 AM
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Abe16
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He was being beat up by a slig,he was a mudokon named Frodo He was A scrub like most of them."Alright no more slacking off one more escape and its your head" said the slig.Frodo had so many bruises they all most his vains.He said to himself,"Why did I listen to phleg,Why did I drink the brew too" "Alright come with me you Slave i warned you" Said the slig "(sigh)" Frodo sighed."Boss i got da slave" said the slig again "put him in chains so i can watch him" said Dir. Phleg."So you are mudokon #...umm," he said trieing to remember."Number 2 sir" Frodo said "Oh Abe!Ha ha you think Abe is gonna save you like in the farm ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" said Dir. Phleg "Hi" said the slig "What oh go guard more mudokons." The slig shot the gluk and blew in too pecies."ABE!" said Frodo.What will happen next stay tuned
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #2  
07-10-2003, 07:44 AM
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Kaze
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Hey! That is very nice story! Write more! Really. That mudokon is cute!
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Think if Yoshi and Abe be team?!! Really! Think about it!! n_n ^_^

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  #3  
07-10-2003, 02:18 PM
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Fleech Food
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Consider adding a space after a full stop though, it's makes reading easier.. anyway, your story is pretty good! It's better than my stories
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  #4  
08-03-2003, 06:16 AM
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Abe16
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Chapter2:After abe saved his life two sligs tiptowed and threw a net mover Abe."Run for your life!" Abe called to frodo.The sligs called Backup And the sligs left for frodo leaveing two other sligs to handle Abe.Frodo's Heart was beating fast he had to find someplace to hide,He suddenly found a damp shadow.he quickly dashed in it. "Maybe he went down the brewery hall Jeff!" said Carl. "I'll check in Asliks office, You check the brewery hall" Carl said again. "Roger that!" Jeff said. Frodo came out wondering what to do. Suddenly the ghost of big Face came,"Abe is in trouble, You need to rescue him" "Me! but I'm too scared" Frodo said "You can do it Frodo I belive in you" So Frodos quest had just begun.
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #5  
08-05-2003, 11:54 AM
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T-nex
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It's a pretty good story, but maybe you need more space (,) and (.)

It's agood start, I think it will turn out good
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  #6  
08-05-2003, 07:42 PM
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Abe16
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Thanks Guys I wuv you all!Chapter 3:After Big face dissappeared He still doesn't know what to do.Suddenly someone pulls him to a place, it was Alf pulling him into his secreat bar in the factory when a slig starts coming they opress something and then it turns back into another pecies of the factory."Alf!? eh, What is this place?" "Its my hangout!" bAlf replied "Well i never thought you had one right in the factory !" Frodo said again. "well I have to savbe Abe" Frodo said " Abe?No you don't he always has everything under control" Alf said "Not this time" Frodo said "Well I better go with you, Bye guys" So they got past all the security and in the new stockyards where they were gonna feed Abe to a new snack the fleeches.The slig saw them he went farther and out of the factory.chapter4 tommarow
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #7  
08-08-2003, 12:34 AM
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Abe16
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So I'm Making Chapter 4:This scared Frodo alot He never been outside the factory before, He knew he had too Alf said "Wait!uhhh I'm going back, But if you lose HP Heres Hearbs." "Uhhh , Thanks Al" Before he could thank Alf he was Gone So he tried guessing where the slig went.It was midnight he stopped to make Camp.In the morning he said "Abe!I got to rescue him!" So he went on.He saw the slig go into the mudumo Vault He ewas Toatally Scared But He fased his fears and went in.
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #8  
08-08-2003, 12:41 AM
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Abe16
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Chapter 5:He did a big gulp once he was in He scared a bunch of bats above him Scattering.Once they were gone He heard a Paramite He said "ope i don't waste my hearbs" He heard Bullets Shattering on the ground and a Dead Paramite squeel.He said to himself "I think I heard him That Way!" When he got there The slig was gone."This is a mystery"Fred said From scooby Doo."Hey this is my show!"Frodo yelled Paramites soon heard him "Opps" He ran for his life He hit his head and was out like a light.
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #9  
08-08-2003, 12:47 AM
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Abe16
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Chapter 6:As frodo woke up he saw a shaman and two mudokons."You wouldn't of survied Without us and your hearbs" the Mud said "Uhhgg Where am I?" Frodo said. "Your in the mudomo Hospital.Just be a little more careful and quiet" The Shaman said, "Say you haven't seen a slig with a bag have you?" Frodo said. "Ummmmm Yah he just went to the soulstorm Minning Co." The shaman Said Again "Well I gotta rescue abe He Got caught i that Bag" Frodo said "Well Be careful" Said the second Mud. "I will!" There!
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #10  
08-11-2003, 01:10 AM
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Abe16
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Chapter 7:"Few!I lost him.now where to burry where to burry, Wa!Its dat ****** Mudokon I'll fix him" The slig said loading his rifel RAt-tat-tat-tat-tat! Frodo dogded all the bullets "Crap!gotta go!" Frodo ran with him the slig went into the pipe that lets you in Fee co. Depot.It was deep inside The place cuz it was time for closing Aslik made sure there were greeters everywhere they only greeted the slig while the rest were watching every move anything could make.Frodo was scared he was above t6he greeters tring not to get caught when he finally reached the part where no greeters could reach he saw the slig talking to the newscaster frodo said "Where do you think you're going newscaster?" "Ummm,nowwhere?" said caster "Thats right!" frodo said He tied newscaster up and left him there while the other slig went running to slig barracks.Frodo said to himself "Gulp!if the slig calls for backup I might be dead and poor Abe will be dead for life!But I have too!'' If you don't reply I'll add more to intrest you.
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #11  
08-11-2003, 07:39 AM
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Abe16
Outlaw Bomber
 
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Chapter 8:After A while Frodo was in slig Barracks he was amazed at the tall towers that were there he wasn't looking so he fell into a sligs pen And there was a slig without his pants "Pants Pants!I need some Pants!" Frodo put the pants on feeling weird and grabbed the Gun and put the mask on And was half Mud and Half Slig He shot the slig tring to Run with the pants.It was offical it was on T.V While News caster was free to Tattle Tail Once Again.Sligs were running to the battle station Muds were Fighting the Sligs And frodo ended up fighting too.He was the powerfulest Mud there cuz of the Gun.He killed half the sligs! Reply!
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~

“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

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  #12  
08-11-2003, 08:19 AM
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Hobo
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I haven't read your story and have no wish to but:

Do you not :
a. Have an enter key on your keyboard
b. Have the ability to paragraph?
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