When I saw myself... and catched myself always thinking about the girl,
who didnt want to be with me..., that was so disgraceful and I felt as I have nothing more to offer than that... every other girl isnt as interesting than "that" girl...
So I thought to myself (if I can really think at that time) that I need to change... and that as fast as possible..., so I try not to think about her and at the same time I try to work on me as harder I could...
(It is not her fault, I would do anything for her, I love her so much..., but I dont like the temporary condition, I feel that something big is waiting for me anyway, that is what me keeps going forward, all or some of the time.
)