Games on oddworld

[General Drippik]

These mudokons, what do you reckon they do for fun? The natives anyway. They speak english, so they can talk to eachother. What sort of games would they play? What if they hed playstations, and there was a series called, "The Earth Quintology"? Like, a playstation game about a human. That'd be cool.

[Xavier]

I saw abe playing playstation... in an advertising
I know they like to play cards

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

I play the Oddworld games a lot, and my brother used to joke that Abe probably plays 'Anna's Odyssey', but I don't think it'd be 'cool' if the Oddworld creatures had console games, especially ones about humans.

It says on the official site that Sligs like to play cards and other betting and gambling games, but I didn't know that the Mudokons liked them. I'd imagine that native Muds have Elum races and showjumping, and possibly a form of Elum Polo (played on horseback on Earth). They probably have a ball game of sorts, like the Aztecs' Tlachtli.

Abigail once said that Sligs might play some of the more violent hitting-balls-with-sticks type games, like Hockey or Shinty. I quite like that idea, but the more upper-class Sligs like Lulu's valet would probably play Lacrosse. I'd imagine the Sligs, and possibly the Muds, like Bowling or Skittles as well. If Oddworld has monster-truck events or demolition derbys, I'll bet the Sligs buy most of the tickets to those as well.

We know that the Glukkons love casinos, and on the old version of the official site we were told that Aslik was a fan of Mudokon tossing.
Emily once started a fic about native Glukkons, and she reckoned they'd play Reapsworth, which is like a giant version of darts, played with spears.

[Xavier]

something to not forget...
there are lot's of tv show for lazy people like: "Name That Trauma"

[Gluk Schmuck]

Originally posted by One, Two, Middlesboogie
[...] Aslik was a fan of Mudokon tossing.

Really?

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Yes. He mentioned it in an interview about his autobiography (I, Aslik).

*sigh* The old site rocked... I tried looking for it on archive.org... but they don't have anything beyond the splash and what's new pages.

[Xavier]

how does that site works?
it looks intresting

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

www.archive.org - type in a site that no longer exists and it'll show you lots of the old content that used to be there.

For several years, they've been archiving the net! (Lotsa terrabytes!)

Someone on a WipEout board I visit found the old Pysgnosis site there, and I managed to grab lots of WipEout images off it. I tried typing in 'www.oddworld.com' hoping to find some of the old info, but to no avail.

[Xavier]

sounds nice...
but nothing works for me

I think it's a brilliant idea

[Oddsville]

Yeah, I treied it as well but to no avail. I think that there was something else in the web address to that site besides 'oddworld' but I can't remember.

[M.O.M]

in a greek advert i've seen abe play football

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

He he, really? What was it an advert for?

[Xavier]

football?
I have to know more?
when was it?
what about?
where can I find infos?

[M.O.M]

u see abe and all the other mudokons in his team gathered round him(bigface is there as well, hes the goalie), abe tells them the strategy(in english) the whistle blows, abe gets the ball passed to him and he starts to run towards the opposite team(sligs) he starts dodging them he shoots and buts it top right corner
then it comes up a logo comes up advertising a greek drink

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Seriously? It sounds as though you're making it up.
What's the name of this drink? Does it have a website?

[M.O.M]

honest to god i'm not making up, i think the drink was called raki and i will try and find a website about it for you

[Xavier]

ahum... wasn't that drink called SoBe instead of raki?

[M.O.M]

I thought it was raki

[Xavier]

at this moment I don't found anything about that drink on the internet.

but I'm still searching

it exists: http://www.raki.com/

[General Drippik]

I would have thought it was advertising soBe aswell... Oh well. I seriously doubt they play football(soccer) on oddworld. And it's pretty obvious glukkons gamble. Everyone of them has a fortune 5 times as big as bill gates.

[Xavier]

Originally posted by General Drippik
I would have thought it was advertising soBe aswell... Oh well. I seriously doubt they play football(soccer) on oddworld. And it's pretty obvious glukkons gamble. Everyone of them has a fortune 5 times as big as bill gates.

Only the GLockStrars do...
I don't think a Pud has so much money

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Whoo-hoo! Success! I managed to find that interview with Aslik in archive.org. I misremembered, though; it's some extracts from his autobiography, not an interview.

Liner Notes
"As the Vice-President of the omnipotent SoulStorm Brewery, VP Aslik is at the height of his career. Brew Production is at an all time high and the profit margin just seems to get bigger with each passing quarter. He is besieged everyday with letters from Glukkons all over Oddworld asking the same question: "What's your secret?" Rather than answering these letters for free, VP Aslik decided to demonstrate just how business savvy he is by authoring a book and CHARGING for the answer."

Prologue
"Ya know, it ain't easy makin' the most cherished drink in all a' Oddworld, but it's really all about love of the product for me. I still rememba' with almost uncanny detail how I knew THIS is what I needed to do wit' my life. I was a yut' - can't remember how old I was - and some guy and I were watching this group a' Mudokons drinking bottle after bottle of da Brew. Now, I think this guy was somehow related to me, but I'm not sure...anyways, we were sitting there watching these crazy Mudokons and the guy, he sez 'As,' he sez, 'there's a way to put this to work for us. Watch.'"

"Wit dat, he went over to the group of gangly green 'tings - and stood with arms crossed in front of the SoulStorm Brew dispenser! I'm not really sure how the whole 'ting ended, but all I know is that I heard 'im yell 'All a ya!' and 'Work' and before you know it - Boom! All a' those Mudokons are doing the work this guy and I were s'posed to be doin'! I asked 'im how he did it and he said, 'It's all about the Brew, bonehead. Didn't you hear a word I just said to them?' I didn't, but it didn't matter. I just knew that 'dat Brew did good stuff. I fell in love that day. But I still can't remember who 'dat guy was."

Chapter 1: Management Theory
"Durin' my formative years, I learned two different theories of slav - er, employee management: The Violence theory and the Addiction theory. I thought to myself 'Hey, why not mix dese two things into one theory?" I already saw what the addiction was able to do when I was wit dat guy and those Mudokons as a kid. Just imagine what could be done if you could back 'dat addiction up wit' violence! Talk about a productivity boost! And that's when I started work in SoulStorm Brewery..."

Chapter 3: Leisure Time
"If my time in 'da business world has taught me anything, it's that you need to play just as hard as you work. If you don't, you'll burn out quicker than a Mudokon in a tear extractor (wink wink, nudge nudge, knowwhatI'msayin'). All joking aside, playin' is serious business...it allows you ta' burn off the steam you collect during a day at 'da office. Personally, I'm a big fan of indoor, arena-style Mudokon tossing; it's so much more violent than that outdoor stuff! I've also been known ta' give one a' my Slig middle managers a 5 minute head start in one of the forests of Mudos and then chase after 'im wit' an electrical shock device...."

These tips for better, more successful living and so much more are waiting for you! Do you wanna be successful? I thought so! So what are you waitin' for? Just get out there and do it! All a'ya'!

[Xavier]

is that official...
is it?

Xavier fall off his chair of joy
Thank you soooooooooooo much!

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Darn right it's official! It no loger exists on the site, but I (and probably Max as well) can remember when it existed.

I found some more good stuff... this is an advert for a Mudokon Tossing event:

The Ninth Annual Mudokon Toss 500, sponsored by SoulStorm Brew
This Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Come join in the fun at the Mudos Arena for Mudokon Tossing like you've never seen it before! It's sure to be a hot contest when returning champion Mike "The Mudokon Slayer" meets up with scrappy newcomer, Mills "The Mudokon Maimer"! Be one of the first 50,000 there and get your free foam "#1 Hand" sporting the always-pleasing SoulStorm Brew Logo. As always, guests under 12 get all the SoulStorm Brew they can drink for free!
"A Celebration of Debilitating Addiction," at the Glukkon Museum of Modern Technocracy, sponsored by SoulStorm Brew.
We here at SoulStorm Brewery are firm supporters of the Arts and InHumanities. As such, we're proud to be the principal sponsors of this intriguing look at what makes the population of Mudos - from Gen. Molluk, right on down to that rat fink Abe - tick. It's all about producing a need and then milking it for all it's worth ... truly breath taking and a must-see if you're in the area.

"The First One's Free" On-Going Promotion
There are some "firsts" in life that should always be special: Your first day of work for any of Molluk's corporations; Your first Paramite Pie; Your first existential epiphany during which you're confronted with the face of your own worthlessness. 'Til now, these firsts always came at some type of personal or financial cost ... but - thanks to SoulStorm Brewery - at least one of those firsts can be free. Announcing the indefinite continuation of SoulStorm Brewery's "The First One's Free" campaign. Any Oddworldian can go experience one of life's greatest pleasures...and not have to spend a penny! * "When we started the 'First One's Free, campaign a couplea' years ago, we didn't really have high hopes for it," explains SoulStorm Vice President Aslik. "But it's become apparent that our customers WANT that first drink for free...and as long as we know they'll keep coming back for more, we're more than happy to give it to 'em!"

* The first SoulStorm Brew is free. Every additional SoulStorm Brew will cost approximately _ more than you can afford. When your tab runs to an amount to be determined by us, you will be sent to the SoulStorm Brewery to work off your debt in misery.

So what are you waiting for?

Act Now!

And this has nothing to do with this topic, but I enjoyed it. This is an article by Dr. Chester Payne (one of the three Glukkons in the AE FMV, on whom Abe eavesdrops before destroying the Brewery) about the healthy properties of SoulStorm Brew:

Carbonated Mudokon Tears
Dr. Payne says: "Sodium - and lots of it - is the key to a well-rounded diet. And what better way to get this dietary requirement than from the delicious tears of the hapless Mudokons?"

Bone Fragments
Dr. Payne says: "A lot of people think that milk is the best thing to strengthen your bones. I say nonsense! As the old expression goes, 'Bone begets bone' ... you need to ingest bones to strengthen your own. And, oh boy, does SoulStorm have bones!

Lots of Preservatives
Dr. Payne says: "The staggering number of unpronounceable preservatives in SoulStorm Brew ensures that our Brew will ALWAYS be fresh, whether you pick it up one day after it leaves the Brewery, or 1 decade. Also, the preservatives bind with your genetic material and make sure you leave a pretty corpse that doesn't decay ... ever. You'll be forever beautiful!"

Nutrition Facts
Serv. Size 1 Can

Calories: 10,000
Dr. Payne says: "Today's Oddworld Inhabitant - particularly the Mudokon - is a hard worker. And as we all know, you burn calories when you work; since the average Oddworldian works about twice as hard as its biology normally allows, you NEED all these calories to keep you going. No worries about getting fat ... we'll make sure you work it off!"

Total Fat: 500 g
Dr. Payne says: "Despite what the more 'mainstream' physicians like to say, fat is good for you. It powers you the same way it powers our trains. And Oddworld needs its Inhabitants to run like our most reliable locomotive ... so stop yer whining about 'clogged arteries' and 'heart disease.' Fat's good for you. Period.

Sodium: 8000000 mg
Dr. Payne says: "A diet high - extremely high - in sodium is essential to a well-rounded slav - uh, worker. I said worker. Hypertension Shmypertension. Just drink it!

Protein: 0 g
Dr. Payne says: "I'm currently investigating several cases where people who ate stuff with protein in it spontaneously combusted. That's right, they ate this stuff - that was supposedly 'good' for them - and then burst in to flames, leaving a pile of ashes in their stead. Until I can definitely prove that protein wasn't the culprit, my official stance is that Protein is BAD for you."

Sugars: 6000 g
Dr. Payne says: "In addition to aiding in the development of good teeth, Sugars work with your overall calorie intake to produce LOTS of energy. More energy equals more work. More work equals bridge. Bridge equals more money. More money equals more power. More power equals more Brew. Wait a minute ... what's money again?"

Contains 0% of RDA Vitamins
Dr. Payne says: "I can say without the use of hyperbole that the RDA is populated by a buncha' quacks who wouldn't know a good meal if it hid outside in the parking lot, waiting to give them e Coli. Also, they revoked my medical license, so they're just straight out jerks.

[Oddsville]

I remember that, I had it all printed out and saved with all the other stuff I printed so I could use it to brief up on my Oddworld knowledge whenever I needed to, but then I lost it.
Hey, can you see if you can find the page on Bill?

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Yes, here it is:

Name: Bill the Mudokon

Age: At LEAST legal working age (we promise!)

Occupation: Necrum Miner

Hobbies: Playing hide-and-go-bump-into-walls, Mining for unknown stuff, Drinking SoulStorm Brew, Mining for unknown stuff, Did I mention Mining for unknown stuff?

Family: None to speak of.

Achievements: Uhh, he's managed to stay alive longer than just about everyone else in his work unit?

Favorite Album: "Tommy" ('I can really relate to it,' bemoans Bill)

Favorite Movie: "Locker Room Towel Fights: The Blinding of Gary Driscoll"

Why his manager chose him: "Vice President Aslik tol' me to pick one, so I picked one. Now FREEZE!"

Quote: "Why's it so dark in here?"

[Oddsville]

Yep, I remember that page dearly. *Tears come to eyes* I remember when I first found that page, I was so excited. *Sigh* Bill's the greatest, thanks Middlesboogie!

[Xavier]

Thank you soooo much
so much "new" info for me
you are the best, can I have more please?
More
MORE!

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

To get back on topic, here are some possible 'games' for those working in Cartelian offices:

Beating around the bush
Jumping to conclusions
Climbing the walls
Swallowing your pride
Passing the buck
Throwing your weight around
Dragging your heels
Pushing your luck
Making mountains out of molehills
Hitting the nail on the head
Wading through paperwork
Bending over backwards
Jumping on the bandwagon
Balancing the books
Running around in circles
Tooting your own horn
Climbing the ladder of success
Pulling out the stops
Adding fuel to the fire
Wrapping it up at the day's end
Opening a can of worms
Putting your foot in your mouth
Starting the ball rolling
Going over the edge
Being on the same page

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Okay Xavier, here is another one; the company policies of SoulStorm Brewery:

Safety
"Your safety is important to us at SoulStorm Brewery. With so many moving parts and doohickeys, accidents are all too easy. Which is why we take the precautionary method of sewing your eyes shut when down in the mines. We want your eyes to stay put, not to be thrown to the ground like a marble by a piece of wayward cave ceiling...and with your eye lids firmly covering them, we never have to worry about THAT happening. Thank goodness!"

Hours
"All Mudokon employees of SoulStorm Brewery are expected to work as long as his Slig manager feels is appropriate. Employees who fail to appear at work before the time assigned them by their manager will be immediately terminated (with EXTREME prejudice). Further, if employees fall asleep on the job, they will immediately be smited in any number of unpleasant ways. "

Breaks
"We don't give breaks. "

SoulStorm Brew Employee Purchase Program
"Mudokon employees can elect to have their hours of work used to purchase more SoulStorm brew rather than to pay off their existing debt. In fact, we encourage this. Ask your manager for details on enrollment (on your own time!). "

Consumption of SoulStorm Brew
"Slig managers have established acceptable periods of SoulStorm Brew consumption by their workers. Typically, these periods are around a minute long. If you take longer, you will be considered asleep and dealt with appropriately. "

A Word on Greeters
"SoulStorm Brewery accepts no responsibility for what may happen if you get in the way of one of our security machines called "Greeters." Let's put it this way: steer WAY clear when you see that metallic smile (note to workers in the Necrum Mines: you're best bet is to listen for a rusty, creaking noise...if you hear it, take cover!)."

Fugitive Incentive Program
"Periodically, SoulStorm Brewery is besieged ne'er-do-wells whose soul intention is to mess up the production of Oddworld's most beloved beverage. Employees who aid in the capture/termination of these fugitives (cough, Abe, cough) will be rewarded with lots and lots of SoulStorm Brew (we swear!)."