I took these from another forum. I think most of them are funny.
You can add your own...
"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to sports like hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such"
Principal Skinner: "Thats two independent thought alarms in one day. Willy, the children are overstimulated, remove all the colored chalk"
Willy: " Iye warned ye Skinner, I told ye that that chalck was forged by Lucifer himself!"
Sea Captain: "Arrr, that be no man, that be a bottomless beast"
Lisa:" You won't let them feed you this tripe!?"
P.Skinner: "And now from the meat council, tripe!"
Burns: "Ahh, Smithers, more bodies for my army of the undead..."
Smithers: "Sir, you should let go of the button"
Burns:" what?, while ill be damn.."
Homer: "God bless those Pagans"
Bart: "Ma'am, I have been badly mis-informed about Witches"
"Let's all go to Flaming Moe's."
"I'm Mr. Plow."
"De-fault!! The two sweetest words in the English language."
Homer - "I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidently proved there is no God"
Flanders - "Well, that can't be right" *looks it over* "Maybe you made a mistake? Nope. Well, can't let this get out." *set fire to paper* *Meanwhile Homer is putting pieces of paper on car windshields*
Aid worker - "So what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?"
Homer's brain - "Don't say revenge...don't say revenge!"
Homer - "Uh...revenge?"
Homer's brain - "That's it, I'm gettin' outta here!"
"I'm Dr. Nick Riviera! And I'll do any operation for only $99.95! And if you come in with a brain tumor, you get a free parting gift!"
"Dr. Nick Riviera, Dr. Nick Riviera, please report to the coroners office."
"The Coroner? I hate that guy!"
Opens door, horde of media outside shouting questions about 'the bodies'::
"Such a lovely day! I think I go out the window!"
Homer: "Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip."
Hank Scorpio: "If you could kill someone on your way out, it'd be a great help."
Homer: "Save me Jeebus!"
Homer:"To alchohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"
Homer: "I have this friend um, Joey Joe Joe shabbadoo, Jr."
Moe: "Homer that is the worst name I've ever heard"
*Guy sitting at the end of the bar gets up and runs away crying*
Barney: "Wait Joey Joe Joe, come back!"
Homer:"And that talking cayote was just a talking dog"
Lisa: "I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad."
Homer: "That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too."
Homer: "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.""
Homer: "Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube."
Homer; "Porckchops, ham,bacon?"
Lisa: "Dad, all those come from the same animal!"
Homer: "Yeah right lisa, a worderful, magical animal.."
Smithers: "but sir, there are two seats in there"
Burns: *inside the scape capsule*" I like to put my feet up"
*Lisa reading pen plas letter*Little girls voice: 'Lisa, I have some terrible news, there has been a coup in my country and..
Strong male voice: "All hial general Krang and his glorious new revolution. Signed, Little Girl. "
Homer : "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!"
Homer: "Twenty dollars? Aww, I wanted a peanut!"
Brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how!"
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Homer: "Whoo-hoo!"
Flanders: We need an excuse to tell our wives!
Homer: OK. 100 flying saucers...
Flanders: No, they'll never believe that!
Homer: All right. 50 flying saucers...
"Marge, you hide in the abandoned amusement park; Lisa, the pet cemetery; Bart - spooky roller disco; and I'll go skinny dipping in the lake where the three sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago tonight!"
Grandpa Simpson: (On being asked if Homer was Communist)
"My son is not a communist. He may be a liar, a cheat, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!"
"He says the tide has turned".
"That means the rebels will soon reach the capital!"
Marge: "Look out for the Shaq-attack"! (throws basketball in Bart's face)
Bart: "Ow!"
Marge: "I told you to look out".
Quotes from The Simpsons
Hello?
Yeah, I saw the one where Homer accidentally proved that there is no God. I believe that he got his IQ up by... was it 30? Oh well, that was funny!
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