Quotes from The Simpsons
 

I took these from another forum. I think most of them are funny. :D You can add your own...

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to sports like hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such"

Principal Skinner: "Thats two independent thought alarms in one day. Willy, the children are overstimulated, remove all the colored chalk"
Willy: " Iye warned ye Skinner, I told ye that that chalck was forged by Lucifer himself!"

Sea Captain: "Arrr, that be no man, that be a bottomless beast"

Lisa:" You won't let them feed you this tripe!?"
P.Skinner: "And now from the meat council, tripe!"

Burns: "Ahh, Smithers, more bodies for my army of the undead..."
Smithers: "Sir, you should let go of the button"
Burns:" what?, while ill be damn.."

Homer: "God bless those Pagans"

Bart: "Ma'am, I have been badly mis-informed about Witches"

"Let's all go to Flaming Moe's."

"I'm Mr. Plow."

"De-fault!! The two sweetest words in the English language."

Homer - "I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidently proved there is no God"
Flanders - "Well, that can't be right" *looks it over* "Maybe you made a mistake? Nope. Well, can't let this get out." *set fire to paper* *Meanwhile Homer is putting pieces of paper on car windshields*

Aid worker - "So what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?"
Homer's brain - "Don't say revenge...don't say revenge!"
Homer - "Uh...revenge?"
Homer's brain - "That's it, I'm gettin' outta here!"

"I'm Dr. Nick Riviera! And I'll do any operation for only $99.95! And if you come in with a brain tumor, you get a free parting gift!"

"Dr. Nick Riviera, Dr. Nick Riviera, please report to the coroners office."
"The Coroner? I hate that guy!"
Opens door, horde of media outside shouting questions about 'the bodies'::
"Such a lovely day! I think I go out the window!"

Homer: "Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip."

Hank Scorpio: "If you could kill someone on your way out, it'd be a great help."

Homer: "Save me Jeebus!"

Homer:"To alchohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"

Homer: "I have this friend um, Joey Joe Joe shabbadoo, Jr."
Moe: "Homer that is the worst name I've ever heard"
*Guy sitting at the end of the bar gets up and runs away crying*
Barney: "Wait Joey Joe Joe, come back!"

Homer:"And that talking cayote was just a talking dog"

Lisa: "I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad."
Homer: "That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too."

Homer: "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.""

Homer: "Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube."

Homer; "Porckchops, ham,bacon?"
Lisa: "Dad, all those come from the same animal!"
Homer: "Yeah right lisa, a worderful, magical animal.."

Smithers: "but sir, there are two seats in there"
Burns: *inside the scape capsule*" I like to put my feet up"

*Lisa reading pen plas letter*Little girls voice: 'Lisa, I have some terrible news, there has been a coup in my country and..
Strong male voice: "All hial general Krang and his glorious new revolution. Signed, Little Girl. "

Homer : "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!"

Homer: "Twenty dollars? Aww, I wanted a peanut!"
Brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how!"
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Homer: "Whoo-hoo!"

Flanders: We need an excuse to tell our wives!
Homer: OK. 100 flying saucers...
Flanders: No, they'll never believe that!
Homer: All right. 50 flying saucers...

"Marge, you hide in the abandoned amusement park; Lisa, the pet cemetery; Bart - spooky roller disco; and I'll go skinny dipping in the lake where the three sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago tonight!"

Grandpa Simpson: (On being asked if Homer was Communist)
"My son is not a communist. He may be a liar, a cheat, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!"

"He says the tide has turned".
"That means the rebels will soon reach the capital!"

Marge: "Look out for the Shaq-attack"! (throws basketball in Bart's face)
Bart: "Ow!"
Marge: "I told you to look out".

Hello?
 

Hmm, Burns said 'What? Son of a bi..." on the BBC.

Heh, I was shocked when the good ol' beeb started allowing such words as 'bastard' at 6pm. Tsk! Still, now that Channel 4 has bought the rights to The Simpsons as well as Enterprise, we're never gone see either in Britain because of T4's careless attitude.

Truth is, there are hundreds of hilareous quotes from The Simpsons - some are even easter eggs, and take a while to find.

Re: Quotes from The Simpsons
 

I haven't seen those yet..:(
BBC2's showing The Simpsons every weekday at the moment (I presume they'll be doing this until their licence runs out) but they're only showing old ones...I hope C4 makes better decisions than BBC2 did...

They show simppsons everyday here :D... though i foreget to wach it...

My favorit... a new one though...:
*Homer presses the power button on his new computer:*
Computer text: To start the computer, press any key.
Homer: Any key, any key...wher'es the any key?
Man, this computer work is hard... i think i will order a tab.
*presses tab key*
AH! No time for that, the computer is staring!!
--------------------A WHILE LATER-------------------------------------
Computer: You got mail...
Homer: AH!

Here is a quote from Barney on the Simpsons

:lol: Yeah, I saw the one where Homer accidentally proved that there is no God. I believe that he got his IQ up by... was it 30? Oh well, that was funny!


:) ........ :D ......... :lol:

Ah... but you have forgotten my personal favorites...

1. Urge to kill rising...
2. My God! It'll kill us all! Woo hawl la hoo glaven!
3. Duff Man! Can't breath! OH NO!
4. Oh, I am ever so pissed!

Homer: No TV and no beer make Homer...
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!

Oh, I just love that one! :D Because the Duff Man is so awful. They're now showing the old episodes again in here and that one came.. was it last week....? :)

"Mmmm... Organised Crime..."

Points for C4:
Will show new episodes.

Points against C4:
Has shown careless disregard for schedueling when showing Futurama.
Adverts.

"Take this candy men" - homer throwing a explosive can filled with fizz-rocks

"Za?" - bart after milhouse tells him that he can see him in a fortnight

"It's not gonna happen - marge's classic line

"smithers, theres a rocket in my pocket" - burns

"Duff man, cant breathe, OH NO" - Duffman after moe sticks a duff sticker on his face.

"Hey, you just stole my employees! I like that" - the cooky lady that the simpsons work for in spring break

"Now where's that kid with my latae" - homer after talking with mel gibson

"are you hugging the tv!" - homer

"this is why i dont talk that much" - carl after insulting everyone and making them cry

Scheduling? What's that? We ARE talking about the same channel, here...? ;)

I think you're being sarcastic here, but I'll take the opportunity for a rant...

Channel 4 doesn't care about certain programs at all! BBC put The Simpsons and Buffy on at regular times, then C4 bagged Futurama and Angel and put them on at totally random times, like in the middle of the night or while I'm at college! It's just not on! I never got around to watching either of those two series because of Channel 4...

It could be becuase Angel and Futurama are just spin-offs of Buffy and The Simpsons. Well, Futurama isn't really a spin-off... but... well... I suppose I really don't have a point after all... :(

Damn me and my insrutable ways.

I LOVE the Simpsons. I think they're the best show.
Here's some More:

HUH It's Drinking the water hehe it's going back for more.

Hay He's not happy at all He lied to us through song I hate it when people do that!

Millhouse: *Knocks on the door* Do you have my teeth?
Marge: Uh...No

I don't want to kill you but I will.

I'm not gay but I'll learn.

In chocolate land
HUH Chocolate Half Price!

I like them ones.
I am Mr Burns Blah Blah Blah Do t

more
 

(Homer is holding onto a sky writers plane and kicks the tank with the gas in it or something)

Piolet: You crazy idiot, you'll kill us all!
Homer: Corection, i'll us both!

(homer is buying a computer)

Homer: now is this the best computer and always will be?
salesman: why certainly.

(Apu is sad about being an immegrant)

Homer: Man Apu, you love this country more than i love a cold beer on a hot christmas morning.

(Homer just drank all the beer so Barney will stay sober and Homer is drunk

Barney: What a friend, you took 6 silver bullets for me.
Homer: You take that back.

(Homer looks at his website)

Homer: Oh man, my ticker is actually going down.

"i know i dont talk to you much but please, SAVE ME SUPERMAN" homer

New...changes...brewing in Duffman, What...would...Jesus do! Duffman Oh yeaaaaaah!

Quote from Simpson's Road Rage ad-

Marge: Homer your driving like a maniac!
Homer: Oh Marge, roads are just a suggestion, like pants.

Homer: Kids,let's go home.
Bart or Lisa: We are home.
Homer: That was fast.