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-   -   Well....after all...we're men! (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=19332)

The Crappin' Elum 07-02-2010 08:50 AM

Well....after all...we're men!
 
Hey guys! I need you're help cuz I know that u all are much older than me and might know a lot more things than I do,after all I need to listen to my elders,right?
Ok So I'm gonna soon go out with a a girl I kinda love at a movie!(Jesus Christ she wants me to watch Twilight Eclipse *disgusted face*)
She's just gonna bring 1-2 friends and I told her that I wanna talk to her alone after the movies....and she was all like "yeah,sure!" .
Can u give me like tips on what should I do,what should I say,what should I wear?I watched a lot of guides on women and how to flirt and all that stuff,and it sounds good but I wanna hear some tips from you guys!I know I sound geeky but could you please just like help me a bit?
She's natural blonde,green eyes,just a bit shorter than me,she's younger with 1 month than me,and she seems nice,she likes teasing guys but in a fun way!
I like everything about her,I asked her a few times if she feels anything about me or if she wants to be my gf but she said that she doesen't have feelings for me ,u know she only wants to be friends!SO I'M CURRENTLY IN THE FRIEND ZONE!I need to do something that will make her get me ou of the friend zone and put me in the sexual mate zone if u wanan call it like that!
I'm sorry I don't have a pic with her...But I assure u that she's worth it!
So I would appreciate a lot if you would help me just a bit,tell me what u know and what u think it's best!thanks :fuzwink:

Josh 07-02-2010 08:51 AM

Wear a shirt that says 'Suck it or Get Back In the Kitchen'. Bitches dig that.

OANST 07-02-2010 08:53 AM

Popcorn. Bucket. Hole. Penis.

Pilot 07-02-2010 08:56 AM

Don't try to be perfect or else you'll end up being a Dongus with a foot in his mouth who seems nervous and preoccupied. First times always make you nervous, but the finest advice ever given was 'be yourself.' (Assuming at your age you know who you really are)

She already knows you're interested in her because you're going out, right? Hopefully you asked her out and not the other way around.

Wil 07-02-2010 09:00 AM

Invite her to the Sexual Mate Zone of your nearest zoo. If she's looking for the same thing from you that you want from her (penis), she'll understand and accept.

The Crappin' Elum 07-02-2010 09:03 AM

You're forgeting that I'm 13 years old....:[
EDIT*
It's true...I might get horny sometimes...and I might get a bon3r sometimes...but that's all natural stuff It's natural for everyone especially at my age the hormones are beginning to make their job...

OANST 07-02-2010 09:04 AM

Shit. Sorry.

Popcorn. Bucket. Hole. Little Penis.

Josh 07-02-2010 09:04 AM

No sex zone for you then.

:

()
It's true...I might get horny sometimes...and I might get a bon3r sometimes...but that's all natural stuff It's natural for everyone especially at my age the hormones are beginning to make their job...

No it's not. It's dirty, wrong and God can see you. You're going to hell.

Pilot 07-02-2010 09:09 AM

:

()
bon3r

A 3" Rager? :fuzconf:

abe is now! 07-02-2010 09:59 AM

Just put your legs in her thing, then you have won!

Josh 07-02-2010 10:03 AM

Yeah, kick her in the vagina!

abe is now! 07-02-2010 10:04 AM

After all... we're men!

OANST 07-02-2010 10:07 AM

Abe is Now gave the best advice. Do that.

MeechMunchie 07-02-2010 10:07 AM

Turn up with roses. Grow a fine moustache. Learn to fence and buy a horse. Go for something ridiculous and fantasy-fufilling. It may not work but it'll be pretty damn interesting.

OANST 07-02-2010 10:08 AM

Stick your pinky in her butt.

Wings of Fire 07-02-2010 12:07 PM

Put it in.

T-nex 07-02-2010 12:18 PM

Show up with a club?

Mac Sirloin 07-02-2010 12:42 PM

Wear splash pants and a shirt that's too tight. Try to exhale as much as possible to extend your stomach outwards; while she may not comment on it, it's a subtle bit of machismo that will make her look at you and not at the screen. Buy her a very, very large drink, don't bother with what the drink itself is, that isn't the point. When she's about halfway done (check this by picking it up once in awhile and gauging the weight), leave the seats and go get another straw.
Now, this part is extremely important: Put the straw in her drink and only drink when she is is drinking too . Before the drink is done, spill it all over yourself when she's picking it up, tell her it's okay but you'd like her to go and get some napkins to clean it off, as you don't want to track the drink all over the theatre. While she's gone, either bring out your cellphone (if you have one) or put a bluetooth headset in your ear and turn it on. These things are both critical and I suggest you buy them right now, before you finish reading this sentence.
When she comes back, assuming you have the cellphone, gesture at the area of your splash pants that has liquid on it and give her a humble, pleading look. Lead with your eyebrows.

At this point, she will touch you. Don't be alarmed, and keep your cool. After she's done cleaning your pants, (and this is extremely important): DO NOT MAKE ANY EFFORT TO SPEAK WITH HER. Simply answer questions with yes or no or don't answer at all.

If you follow these steps (especially the stomach pushing, drink spilling and no-talking) she will be yours to have and to hold. It's a complicated process and yes, some parts sound silly, but this does work. Do not miss a single step.

OANST 07-02-2010 01:02 PM

That's a whole lot of good advice there. Gosh, we are all just so very helpful. We'll have to remember this thread when it comes time for the forum awards again.

Hobo 07-02-2010 02:03 PM

:

()
Just put your legs in her thing, then you have won!

:

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After all... we're men!

Best posts i've ever read.

shaman 07-02-2010 03:39 PM

:

()
Gosh, we are all just so very helpful.

Nate's been looking for something to Necrum.

OddjobAbe 07-03-2010 12:50 AM

Just a shame Max only posted once.

Ridg3 07-03-2010 03:11 AM

Get really, really drunk and give the I love you speech then focus the rest of your energies into finding your way into her panties.

OR:

Wear a one piece and hot rod your way to victory...women love that kinda thing.

Taco 07-03-2010 03:37 AM

Sit next to her in the cinema and touch her constantly. Remember, no means yes.

Stupid-Limey 07-03-2010 03:39 AM

I like this place already

Sekto Springs 07-03-2010 03:46 AM

:

Remember, no means yes.
And if Naked Gun has taught us anything; yes means no.

MA 07-03-2010 04:52 AM

i didn't read all of the OP, but i assume you want to know where to hide the body, yeah?

Bullet Magnet 07-03-2010 05:26 AM

Present to her a framed, blown up portrait of a woodpecker-specific louse. Girls love that sort of thing, or so I believe.

Josh 07-03-2010 05:31 AM

Play this to her.

PuddiinLOL :] 07-03-2010 05:35 AM

Say you like her .. and flatter her with some compliments (during the film) then at the end ask her out.

Your f*ckin lucky your goin to the movies with her on your own if you like her, your practilcly half way there