~ Enchilado's Fanfiction Thread ~
 

PROLOGUE:

Dust. The was the primary feature of the ground, which had been lush grassland when they had started the war. Now the dried, cracked ground, flat as far as you could see, was dotted not by trees but by rusty black guard towers, red eyes glinting and glaring at whoever looked at them.

But there was no one now. The war had ended, the rival countries were allies in their latest confrontation, and still the rickety structures watched the battlefield, waiting for the enemy that would never come.

A soft creaking from a dilapidated windmill was the only sound. It groaned as the soft breezes turned it slowly around, and around, and somewhere there might have been the buzzing of a fly, but probably not.

The windmill stood in the midst of ancient tents, ragged with tears, mostly collapsed. Once soldiers had lived here, slept here, died here. Nobody remembered them. The people of today had no time for unimportant figures of times long past.

And yet, these soldiers had had friends, and families, and hopes and fears, and anger and joy and disappointment, and everything else that made them alive.

They had dwelt in these tents for a long time, waiting until the day they were able to leave, to go home. What had it been like, forced to stay here for months, years? What had the soldiers done with all that time? What had their names been?


~well... haven't the time to write too much now... maybe later.
Enchilado

For the most part, it seems quite good, despite how much I disaprove of a majority of your posts. However, the end seems to be heavily inspired by Tolkien...

I don't really know, I wrote this as I went along, and I've never read any Tolkien. I've heard a small amount on audio, but not really listening, and not for ages.


~I'll probably work on this properly, then start uploading it here.
Enchilado

Have you seen the movie Lord of The Rings? A quote, very similar to what you wrote in the last paragraph, can be heard in the movie.

I have seen the movie, but not for a few years. I didn't deliberately quote anything, must have done it subconsciously.

Anyway. I'm working on a plot at the moment, I'll start writing up a new story when I've got some stuff sorted out. I've been writing since I was seven and I love doing it, but I've never been awfully good at storylines.

We'll see what happens.

I like it so far

Sounds great so far, you're good with the descriptions. :)

01
 

Okay. I've got a story thought up (I won't make another thread for it unless someone says I should). Here's what I've written so far, and I will be writing more (constructive or positive criticism is appreciated).






~ PROLODD

http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/5867/proloddhead.png

Picture a big river. Yes, a big, crystal-clear river, winding its way through the misty valleys. Okay. These valleys are walled by low cliffs, and clustered at the bases of these are stunted pine trees. The grass is crisp and green and the mist is loose and drifts about.

On the West side of the river, and up a bit toward the head of the central valley, you should see a Mudokon village. Small round huts and a few very tall watchtowers. The chieftain Ubulum's warhut stands at the Northern end, and a wall is being constructed hurredly (yet still fancily) out a ways from the village to the South and East, with low towers along its length.

Mudokon workers are hammering away, and Mudarchers stand guard at the tops of the towers, glaring out across the river and into the mist, spoocebows at the ready.

In the warhut, Ubulum and his most trusted warriors are holding a meeting. Their voices are hard to hear from here, but you can gather they're not happy. Two elum riders stand guard outside, and worried-looking hunters are standing around, biting their lips insofar as they can and rubbing their hands together, breathing cold steam in the early morning air.

Take a deep breath of the fresh pine scent and head South and across the river. Speed up a little, the mist rushing past you in an exciting whoosh as you zoom along. Dodge that pine tree!

Soon red lights appear in the mist, followed closely by the black forms of glaring guard towers. Grumpy Sligs stand in them, holding big black rifles. They look bored.

Move up higher so you can peek over the metallic black wall. The mist clears away and you see some tents scattered about, snores coming from most. The offduty Sligs don't want to get out of bed.

In the centre of this is a round black house with red eyes and a mouth-like door, firmly bolted so that no one may enter. Someone is talking inside it but we don't know who. Probably someone important.

Now pull back high up into the air. The Mudokon village and the Slig camp are perhaps ten miles away from each other. Mudokon scouts saw the Sligs arriving, but the Sligs are unaware of their presence. However if the Sligs hang around and explore, it's only a matter of time before they're found, and Slig guns are more powerful than any Mudokon spear.

Let's hang around and see what happens, shall we?

I like this so far

Yeah... well... my last two attempts were total failures. The idea of this is I can just keep writing, because it doesn't really have a beginning or an end. I'll develop characters, kill them off and so on, without having to worry about what happens next.

Do you think I should give its own thread, a nice clean fresh one for its very own? Or not? I do plan to keep writing this one because I've already thought up several interested characters and situations and so on.