Astronauts VS Cavemen
 

Who would win in a fight between astronauts and cavemen? The astronauts can't have guns before anyone asks.

A thread like this was just closed. Allow me to sit back and laugh as I wait for Majic or DI to destroy you.

Well mods, this thread was not intended to be spam, it is supposed to explain that even with advanced technology are we really superior to primitive creatures? And you could at least have voted for something you tight bugger!

I think this was well phrased and a good point and where did I hear this somewhere before.

In some cases technology counts for nothing showing that we can only over come our own primitiveness in our minds.

Stupid question.. but probably a caveman. Just plain brute force.

Just like what Bionic said, cavemen just use brute force. I doubt they actually care about pain, where as an astranaut would be like " please don't hurt me with that big club".

Cavemen did not have just brute force, they were humans who lived in caves. They hunter with spears and slings, and sometimes fought each other.
Even though the Astronaughts suit would be cumbersome and would slow him down, his suit could probably protect him from a slings rock and may even turn away the flint tipped spears. Anywho, the astronaut would most certainly win - he has a gun.

The only way the caveman could win was to smash the astronauts head through the helmet whilst the astronaut was sleeping. However, this would be unlikley because cavemen, like us, have consciences and morals.

The cavemans point of action would be to either run away through fear of the strange being or to attack by throwing a spear or rock in a sling. The caveman would have a very slow rate of fire. He wears only leather and fur if in the winter. In a hot summer he would possibly wear nothing or only a loincloth type dresswear - which would serve as no protection from the incredibly fast bullets.

The caveman would not fear the gun so would not try to avoid the bullets. The caveman would probably also not be hostile when sighting the astronaut. Rather, he would be curious, and the astronaut would kill him with ease.

Lucipher specifically said they have no gun's

Cavemen have primal instinct to their surroundings and know the land well. If this fight was to take place in the wilderness, caveman would be victorious.

Where is the fight taking place?

-oddguy

The astronaut could know martial arts. Increased technology brings about increased communication and hence movement of ideas, such as Eastern fighting techniques.

Bah. Cavemen spent their whole life fighting. And humans have become more peaceful nowadays due to both technological advances and social advances. Thank God.

The Monkey........

The astronaut since they will be fighting in space and without space suit or training the cave men would die.

I say the astronaut because he can do everything the caveman can plus things he can't. Don't go all brute strength argument on me because astronauts are no pansys. They can't afford to be spineless weaklings because if the screw up in the tiniest way they're dead, the crew is toast, and a billion dollar piece of equipment goes up in flames. Also, if the caveman is just fighting with caveman stuff the astronaut can use advanced weapons with super alloys and stuff. Say the caveman does go after him with the club, big deal. It'll take a while before even the best wooden club goes through a solid gold helmet. Meanwhile, the astronaut whoops the caveman's arse with a NASA Brand(tm) Titanium Mace. Oh, you have a sharp piece of hickory? Say hello to the Stihl Caveman Splatterer.

I thought the fight was man to man with no weapons. Also, nobody will tell me where this fight is taking place. That is a big factor.

-=[oddguy

I am going for the cave man for a number of reasons.

1. The underdogs always make for a surpriseing come behind win.

2. Never underestemate the power of a primative being. This type of scenerio has been addressed in Star Wars Return of the Jedi. You had the advance technology of the galactic Empire go up against the primative small fury Ewolks of the Forest Moon of Endor. Little did the Empire know that such a small innocient and pramative race would destroy them and proove to be an awesome force in the end.

3. The cave man in a space scenerio would simply observe the rituals of the preditor called the astronaunt and by chance he would sort of climb in a suit by acceident because he doesn't understand how to work anything he just climbs into it. Drifts out and sees the Astronaut and pretty much with brute force rips the Astronaunts suit befor the Astronaunt has a chance to fire.

If its in a ship the cave man is moveing around like a monkey swinging and jumping everywhere. And once again by chance the lazor will miss him he would then attack from behind.

In the forest well now the Astronaut is on his turf. I don't care how advance your technology is the primative will always find a way to destroy it in the most sympleist of ways.

The only thing you need to destroy the most advance technolgy in the Universe is nature and its wounderful things like trees, rocks, water etc etc. Never underestemate the primative.

Wow! I guess anything can be solved by Star Wars! :rolleyes: Case Closed! :p

I do think the fighting style of a Caveman would be quite unpredictable, and the Astronaut would have a tough time taking him down.

-=[oddguy

Wtf, why the hell does everything think Cavemen were blod-thirsty animals? Why does everything think they are stronger than we are? Since when did they have more muscles?
In a one v one, the Astronaut would still win without a weapon. He has had lots of training and has to be very fit to go into space. The caveman could be a runt or really old or really fat.
The caveman does not know any fighting techniques (without weapons) and would merely use fists and hands to claw and punch. The astronaut will have learnt many fighting techniques and would easily kill him.

No they don't.

In space, there are no spare spacesuits floating around.

puh-lease. The caveman is not a flamin' monkey. he is a human who lives in a cave. He will walk like normal - the astornaut would kill him.

Yeah, cus noawadays we don't have forests, or know what a forest terrain is /sarcasm
Who says its the cavemans forest where he lived? The astornaut would also be a better climber of trees, with all that training and all.

yes, you can destroy technology with nature. But technology kills nature muuuuch faster.

No, but at least be a realist...

Present day man knows ways to kill, whereas primitive man would just swing around in rage.

It's tough to say who would win. I'd be freaked out if this primitive beast was lunging at me, but I'd probably kick him in the loincloth.

Although, we don't know how much cavemen would resist pain. Nowadays people are somewhat wimps when it comes to pain. How would caveman react to a swift kick in the pants? Would he fall down and cry, or would the pain enrage him even more?

-oddguy

Wrong. Present day man is afraid of killing. Someone pisses you off at school. What do you do? Swear and argue(Well most people would). What would caveman do? Rip their head off.

Caveman is not afraid of death, due to disease and wild animals, it's a much bigger part of life than it is today.

wrooooong. Caveman had morales and were afraid of killing - much like we were. For killing humans they were often sentanced to death of shunned from their tribe/caves.
And thats what a caveman would do.

of course he is. Diseases weren't such a big problem, because they didn't have all the imported things we have now, but they still feared death.
They were human, y'know.
They knew how to take care of themselves in the wild with animals. i.e. carrying weapons. But they still feared dying and their doctor-status people often had a lot of work to do.

I think some people are substituting cavemen for insane gorillas

paramiteabe, I agree with you. The Ewoks my be primitive, but they fought really good against the Imperials. They used traps and stoped those AT-STs (walkers) easily. But I didn't like one thing there. If an Ewok died, it was showed for minutes, but if an Imperial died...

...Uhm, back to the Cavemen vs Astronauts again. Sorry.

Well, I can only say that there were a lot more cavemen in the past than astronauts in the present. The astronauts would be out-numbered. :D

Screw the ewoks and the caveman. Astronauts are easily as tough as the toughest caveman. Plus, hardly anyone here is taking into account the Astronaut's superior intellect. Better planning=victory. Keep in mind that this is a battle, probably out in the open in the wilderness, not a mugging.

Ok look at another example to proove my point is right on a primative being like a cave man winning. Oddworld is a great example. You have the primative Mudokons overthrowing advance cultures like the Magog.

So what the Astronaut maybe far more superier but that means shit in a situation like this, And the underdogs always make a come behind win that is a true fact. The cave man will win because he will damage the technology by smashing it. He has hunting skills which makes him stealthy when it comes to attacking.

Dude, you just don't get it. Brute force will not work against the astronaut. You seem to think that a few good smacks against 24k gold is going to do something. It isn't. It will not do dick. Armor+Superior Weaponry+Better intellect=a caveman can-kicking.

Oh sure what ever when the cave man rips out the wires and cables or jumps on top of him and pretty much turns the suit into junk then tell me that.

And I forgot to mention that the Cave Man won't just have his club he would use his enviorment around him. So still the cave man will win your wrong!

Strip each combatant down to just their being. No weapons...no suits. Just two fighters in a 100x100 white room that is completely empty with no way in or out.

Now tell me who would win. This jungle and space stuff is getting...

-oddguy

*changes mind*

Spaceman, as the training programme for space flights is very tough, and so the spaceman would be muscle bound, and have the intelligence.

Yes.

precisely.
I disproved all your points Pa, and then you stated the exact same ones... AGAIN!

Edit: Well, I wouldn't say I disproved em as such, but you just state the same stuff again and don't even try to argue against what I say!
Incredibly frustrating.

Ahahahahahahhahhaha! Oh, PA, you hippy you.....

You people really do under estamate the power of simple beings like cave men?

Wow I really feel sorry for you since you seem to think that all of man made technology of our world can beat a simple being such as a cave man. You know what that sounds like? Its sounds like you would hear that a gust of win is comming and say "oh its only wind!" When in about a few minutes it turns into a serious disaster like a tornado.

Never under estamate the small, the primative etc etc because for one thats being unwise.

Another thing...astronaut would know he is in a fight, when caveman would just be confused. I do imagine that caveman would be territorial though.

-oddguy

We have adapted to not need such bulking bodies in present day meaning less physical strength true they train but I still think an astronaut would be weaker and they generally aren’t trained to kick the crap out of cave men so most their training would go out the window.

Well, let's take Oddguy up on his suggestion. 100X100 room, no weapons, just a mano-a-mano brawl. Its still clear that the astronaut PWNZ! He is in peak physical condition from constant exercise and a strict dietary regimen unlike the caveman, who is struggling around on an unbalanced diet and gets little to no exercise. The astronaut has thousands of years of fighting techniques and and strategy on his side while all the caveman has is power. But even the caveman's power is suspect: Most cavemen were relatively peaceful and ordinary but stupid humans, not these muscle-bound berserkers with the strength of demi-gods as certain pro-Caveman forces would have you believe. Caveman=Wuss

Ahhhh. You're so goddamned infuriating!!!
You fool. Again, you don't try to disprove anything, you're just giving the same statements again.
This is what it appears like:
"That colour is blue"
"No, actually it is red. Mix it with white and you get pink.... see?"
"That colour is blue."
Its exactly the same! You just state your "fact" again and again and then you feel sorry for me/us?! It is I who feels sorry for you, PA. You have have ignorant and implausable views for many things. You appear to be a radical christian (I hope at one point in your life you discover that God doesn't exist. After death or before...)

You don't seem to understand the fundamentals, or you just ignore them and continue stating your shit.
The caveman is not nature, you fool. It is not a tornado. It is a bleedin' human being who lives in a cave, wears animals hides and uses flint tools (technology!).
The astronaut will have had much fighting training! The most the caveman would have done is thrown spears at animals and ran distances (and who doesn't run?)

The caveman is NOT simple "thing". He is a man who lives in a cave. When both the astronaut and caveman are naked, what is the difference? Well, PA, I'll tell you: Only their Hair Styles. Nothing else.
Who is likely to be stronger. The one who has trained with high tech machinery, training which has been perfectly over many generations of scientists working out how to build the body up to the maximum. perhaps he is even on Streroids.
Our caveman, on the other hand, has had not fighting training, except that with spears and slings. His excercises have included manual labour and running.
The astronaut is about the strength, speed and fitness of ten or more cavemen. With steroids, even more.

The astronaut may well have studied many fighting and military techniques from throughout the ages to perfect his strategy. The caveman is basically going in blind in this respect.

Tell me, PA, how the hell can the caveman win?

Edit: yet a-****ing-gain, I find myself trying to prove my point. I have done this at least 2 other times, yet you dont reply to it, you just state your "facts"! AHHaAh, so infuriating!

*is reminded of [as]'s "Flying Shark vs. Flying Crocodile" bout*

Man, I argued with me friends over that one for days. Shark got pwn3d, too! Viva la Crock!

Nobody listens to me.... :fuzsad:

Oh and of course a flying crocodile would win I mean a shark is only an effective killer in water and still has gills but a croc can breathe air.

Just because you don't like one Christian doesn't mean all of them are bad. I'm Christian and we seem to get along fine.

-oddguy

Yes, as long as you guys don't preach no one will judge you, it's the preaching that really POs people.

And I'd have to say astronauts would win. I only say astronauts because I just did a 50 page paper on neanderthals and I currently hate anything that has to do with cavemen.

I've been guilty of preaching on here a couple times in the past, but I try not to get myself in those situations now.

-oddguy