God sake. Everyone's making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
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Anne Frank had some very interesting little annexdotes.
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I never really liked Putin.
I prefer Chamber Pot... |
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With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home. Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it. |
Me and my wife have been married for 60 years. The secret?
Every week, we both eat out at the nicest restaurant in town. She goes on Tuesday, I go on Friday. |
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Because he saw the salad dressing! Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk |
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You clearly have no idea what type of women I'm into, huh?
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I'm afraid that your definition of a "woman" might be incorrect, then
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That may be so, but it's my perception that counts.
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Not sure if these have been posted, but some personal favourites of mine I tell to the ladies when I'm on the prowl:
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic child get for christmas? Cancer What did Helen Keller name her dog? Hurrblurrhehahoshrghuururhghgghhmmmnnnnhhughh What is worse than a dead babie? 10 dead babies Whats worse than 10 dead babies? A semi truck full of dead babies. Whats worse than that? 1 is alive at the bottom of the pile what is worse than that?? Its trying to eat its way out What is worse than that??? He gets bitten by a recluse spider on the way out. ---- what do you call a deer with no eyes? no idea. What do you call a frozen deer with no eyes? still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes on its period. still no bloody idea. Here are some pick up lines: Nice shoes! they'd look good in my pants. and Are you from heaven? because i've got an erection. :hobo: |
Knock knock.
Who's there? Decode. Decode who? Decode in my nose is getting worse. |
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Or were you calling attention to the deer/doe sex mismatch? |
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only primates do have a menstrual cycle. other mammals have estrous cycles. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstruation_(mammal) :
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You know way to much about deer vaginas. And knowing is half the battle. |
Scrabface ruined the thread. Not that it was that great to begin with. But he fucking killed it.
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Oh deer.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh. |
You're as bad as people who try to tell the binary joke aurally.
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I know, posting a video is a little bit cheating, but the way he tells that joke is so good. |
I found this thing.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/e3d764afb...bwlko1_500.jpg Not sure where I should show you guys. |
This is Bits and Pieces material.
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Roses are red,
My name is Dave. This poem makes no sense microwave ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was 3 guys stranded in the mountains and they weren't going to be rescued for 3 days. So they all made a plan that each night one would get the food. So the first night the 1st guy goes out and comes back with a big deer. So the guy who was huntin tomorrow ask for advice on how to catch another one, and the guy said see tracks, follow tracks, BAM!! shot the deer... So the next night the 2nd guy went out and came back with an even bigger deer than the 1st guys, and the 3rd guy was amazed so he asked how he could catch one like that for the next night. And the guy told him see tracks, follow tracks, BAM!! shot the deer... The next night the 3rd guy went out to get a deer and comes back hours later all beat up and bloody, so the the other 2 guys ask what happen. And the guy said i seen tracks, followed tracks, BAM!! got hit by train. |
No.
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