Just ignore it.

Spiderman

*Spider-Man

I believe both are correct, as at the beginning of series he was called Spiderman

Sheridanmnm would know.

Apparently he can do 'whatever a spider can'.

I have yet to see Spider-Man eat flies.

Just because he can doesn't mean he needs to. I could eat flies.

The actual theme tune says "Spider-man, Spider-man / Does whatever a spider can", so that does kind of imply that he actually does everything a spider is capable of. Which is kind of inconvenient if he has to do them all at once.

Oh well, at least he doesn't have a spiracle.

I have yet to see spiders jump off buildings and swing from webs, but I suppose it'd be boring if spiderman was just a guy sitting in a web eating flies.

One of the MysteryMen was Spiderboy, who was exactly that.

I think if there was a Spider-Man, he'd be more like Jeff Goldblum in 'The Fly'.

Except with spider traits.

I'm just hungry for some bacon. :(

Bacon, again? What is it with bacon? Have you ever heard of this?

Go make some.

Eat it raw too, so it will make you sick. I will be pleased.

Stay on topic, please. None of you are being funny in any way.

OH JEEZ YOU MAKE JOKE I LAUGH AH HA

It kept him happy apparently.

You mean not funny to you, I sure had fun posting it so yeah it was funny to me got a problem with that or are you going to make a false sense of security and ban me just for having an honest opinion on you.

I find you funny now, you have a funny way of showing that I'm welcome here.
No offense, but fuck you if you are ruining my harmless fun.

I know that was off-topic behavior but that part you added on there was not needed.

I'm sorry if you are tempted to ban me but that's the way I feel about that warning.

That's a nice little hole you're digging yourself there.

Take a chill pill, dude.

You were spamming. I told you to stop spamming. I was snarky and sarcastic because that's what I do when I tell people to stop spamming. And now you're telling me that I take things too seriously?!

1. No you didn't, you said to stop being off-topic.
2. snarky and sarcastic to me seems like grouchy and pissed off.

Psssh! I'm just sayain, I didn't mean to go off topic but I like to have fun and party. You seem to me like the fun police yo!

Fight the power!

What’s the difference between off-topic and spam?

Off-topic is quite tasty

It wasn't a personal attack. Fuck's sake.

I think we should just get back to jokes.

Here's one to get the ball rolling again.

A string walks into a bar. The tender goes 'Jackass, we don't serve strings here.'

The string leaves the bar and twists and pulls and deforms himself, ruffles his hair a bit and struts back in, incognito.

The tender goes 'Hey, aren't you that string I just kicked out?'

The string answers, 'Frayed knot.'

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/9461/20366639.png

Oh, cruel Spiderman, your words are poisoned barbs!

---

*Knock Knock*
Who's there?
The Guess.
The Guess Who?

AMERICAN WOMAAAN!

I don't think we're technically allowed to discuss reputation.

On a related note I'm still second and have more than 10k rep.

woo

Perhaps, but negrepping me because he doesn't like someone else is just silly.

---

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

What's grey and can't climb trees?

A carpark.

My pet cat can jump higher than my roof.

My roof can't jump.

Christ, guys. sheridan was being funnier than you are.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bulldozer.

After having sex with a rough *enter infamously known estate from where you live* girl, there's nothing worse than looking down and seeing a split and leaking condom hanging off the end of your cock... especially when you weren't wearing one to begin with.

I would have used Ballysally Estate but no-one would have got it properly.

A 17 year old girl from Collingwood (/infamously known estate) goes in to a Centrelink (/unemployment benefits/dole) office and sits down with an advisor. Amongst the process of filling in her application form, he asks her how many dependants she has.

"Well," she says, "I have five kids."
"Five kids?! I'm going to need their names for the form."
She thinks for a second, and says "Taylor, Taylah, Tayler, Taelor, and Teighlor."
The advisor is confused by this and asks "Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, and Taylor? How on earth do you communicate with them?"
"It's simple! I just go to the back door and call out 'Taylor, it's time for dinner' and they all come in for dinner. Then I say 'Taylor, get ready for bed' and they go up and get in to their PJs"
"But what if you only want one specific child?" asks the advisor.
"That's easy," she says, "I just use their surname."

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ballysally Estate?
God couldn't find a virgin and three wise men.

Three elderly men are sitting on a park bench.

The first man says "I'm 60 years old. I get up every morning dying for a piss, but I can't go for hours."

The second man says "You think that's bad? Wait until you reach 70. I get up every morning needing a crap but it takes all damn day."

The third man says "Wait until you reach 80. I urinate every morning at 8:30 and have a crap every morning at 9:30."

"Well then, what's the problem?" Asks the first man.

"I get up at 10:30."

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

You know what's a good joke?

No, you don't.

What do you get at the end of a joke?

A punchline.