...you tickle him behind the ear.

I've got a lovely bunch of...

... magic nose goblins.

I like to lurk in...

Your house.(bwaahahaha)

Yer momma don't dance and your daddy don't...

...side Russian dolls.

Edit: Damn you... Here's another one:
...eat snails anymore.



If I was a video game, I would be...

Middlesboogie and the Chocolate Hovverchickens: This Time It's Personal! (exclusive to the Middlesboogie-o-Matic).

I have a rather large ________ on my ________.

...a video game, presumeably.

EDIT: ooh, it's getting frantic. Let me, then, offer:
...person...mind.

Thorough investigation of crime scenes often leads to...

...discoveries.

Russian Roullette is...

AAAAARRRGH! Ok, I'll answer both.

I have a rather large head on my neck.
(I could see where you wanted us to go ;))

...poking and pulling of various parts of your body.

...perfectly safe 5 times out of 6.

Do unto others as...

...you would have done to your brother/parents/worst enemy.

Gollywogs always look so...

...ber.

This taping of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter...

...I recieved from the Gas Board.

Money comes and money goes, but...

...you can get it back if you're a theif.

If I were you...

...I'd buy a mirror, cuz I can tell you don't have one by the way you dress.

Hey, I just won...

...the Finish the Sentence game.

I'm going to go and eat a...

... a bag of crisps in a Sainsbury's competition (seriously; I did on Saturday... the top prize is a car, though.)

EDIT: (Re: Tom's quezzie) some burnt toast.

When all else fails, at least I'll always have _________ to play with.

My genitals.

My tummy-button tastes like...

... my foot cheese.

Could someone bring me ________ right now?

The Head of Light Entertainment.

I'm willing to bet my collection of pencils that a deep-fried audio cassette would taste like...

...a deep fried audio cassette.

I wish, I wish I were a...

Fruitbat.

The source of all my powers is...

...a secret. :P

I refuse to follow the yellow brick road, unless you...

...make a trail of those orange marshmallowy peanut shaped things leading to it.

Better_____than_____.

...crushed in an industrial accident than eaten by your sister.

I could really do with a good ___ right now.

Erotic flogging from a tiny-waisted girl I know

If wishes were horses, then beggers would...

...ride horses...? I just don't know, frankly.

I saw a piece of cheese grow legs and start to walk away yesterday, so I...

...grew legs too, and walked away with it. (It's one hot piece of cheese!)

If I could be a ____, I would be _____

If I could be alone, I would be afraid

Why, Chancellor, do you even consider any demands from such a bunch of...

...coconuts?

There's a hole in my...

...toe.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a...