Auberginetastik!!!!(Sorry, don't know what an aurbergine is) If i was given the choice between 200 million dollars or the ownership of a theme park of my choice and the immediate slaughtering of Mike eisner i would.....

/.....wonder who mike eiesneir was and poeorbaly sh##chooese the money!" :D

If I was a Oddworld creature...

TBS

...my survival would be calculated by a complex set of variants including such changables as 'what creature would I actually be' and 'would I survive'. Further complications would be created by the fact that Oddworld creatures are fictional, and so, therefore, I must be also - in which case, my survival would depend upon viewer ratings.

This product may contain...

Tonsils.

Dont swear unless...

...your mum is out of sight.

If I didn't have a choice, I would...

...be forced to eat the goddamned asparagous...

If I wasn't paying attention, my eyes might...

...might not be functioning.

When a computer displays a blue screen, it means...

..."Hit me".

I haven't been addicted to anything since I came off...

The Gloria Gaynor music

Gloria Gaynor deserves a big kiss on the....

Cerebrum.

The problem with bacon is...

.....it smells bad!PU!

The awnser to:theres somthing about Mary is....

it sucks when you get it to crispy.
The reason that people like to piss off suckers is....

...because most suckers tend to be quite tall, and so provide a nice high vantage point from which to piss.

If I ruled the world...

I would ban the AOL lady from ever appearing in an advert again.

I would rather have a 6lb brass paperclip than a...

...12 kilo wooden paperclip.

Cheerily I must...

...get to work and finish the Oddworld Encyclopedia website so that everyone here can enjoy it!

In the event that I meet a ten foot tall platypus I will...

run like hell.

If i were to somehow come across now very poor Bill Gates, begging for money and on the gutters of some street, i would...

I believe they're called eggplants in the States.

Point at him and laugh, safe in the knowledege that the superior Macs will now rule the computer world.

If I had a bucket of tripe and onions, a pink elephant and a tub of hair wax I would...

...take the hair wax and use it to wax the pink elephant's hairs (I presume that's what hair wax is used for), then proceed to prepare the tripe and onions as a tasty, yet rather bland, meal, which I shall call 'Tripe and Onion Meal', with the intention of feeding this meal to the elephant for the rest of its life.

I am very sorry for...

...not having finished the Oddworld Encyclopedia.

I promise that...

...I won't stick my finger up there again.

Ohmigosh. What was that noise? I think my...

...water broke! Somebody drive me to the...

... pizzeria.

If I had a quid/dollar/euro for every time I ___________ then I'd be rather wealthy by now.

fell for the "you like seafood?" trick

Wow, that's the 12th time today that I...

... farted (seriously).

I sleep with a...

...female giant panda.(for scientific experimental purposes only;))

Hey guys, yesterday I just met...

...allized my car.

You should always smile...

...(full stop)

Lucy can't dance, but she knows...

...the salsa class is helping her improve, albeit slowly.
Tony always likes it when...