..."If only I'd kept my stupid mouth shut..."

All you need is...

..cheese! All you need is cheese...

Oh no, I've turned the game into another cheese game.. Mehehehe...

If cheese started to evolve and mutate into superior beings (as if they aren't now), I would....

...get down on my knees and sing hosannas(sp) to its name.

When I woke up this morning and looked at my feet...

...I would think "Wow, it sure it entertaining to stare at my feet"...

If I were to die and get reincarnated as a rock, but remember my former life I would....

... sit there and stare at a computer screen.:lol:




If oddworld forums was shut down I would.......

...despair.

Unfortunately, Mary already had all the socks she needed, so she had to...

Spontaneously combust....
If you discovered a highly advanced race of armpit hairs underneath your eyelid, you would...

...think "What the hell is Majic talking about, if there was hair under my eyelid, it would be eyelid hair, not armpit hair"...

If I woke up and found that my arms could be amutated, and then grow back I would...

...still keep in mind that with the regenerative properties now mine, it does not make me impervious to pain, so I still take good care of my arms.

If any fictional creature could come to life, you would choose....

a pikachu!!! Uh, if you were to become a worshiped idol by accident, you would...

....order them to build a steeple, then go find a gypsie! :lol:

For your magical toaster to work, you need to have.....

...unless you ran after lighting the fuse.

The orientation of cricket bats can reveal...

...the true nature or the Soul.

Unless proper care is taken, butterflies are liable to...

...take over your brain meats!

If I had a flying desk that must be fed 4 times a day, I would...

... would think "Why the hell do I have a flying desk? Tunneling desks are much better."

When pigs really CAN fly...

...bacon will go up. *hears groans* Oh, come on, someone had to say it!

Humpty Dumpty...

...was a damned ignorant, careless but blissful egg who, one day, got up on a wall and fell to his death. This egg shattered into hundreds of pieces on the ground. He will never live again. He's gone! The egg is dead and rotting! In a bunch of pieces, too! Now tell me nursery rhymes aren't corrupt, you bastards!

If my head was forced to be sewn onto my largest enemies neck to keep me alive...

I'd bite him.

The best meal containing aubergines is...

Auberginetastik!!!!(Sorry, don't know what an aurbergine is) If i was given the choice between 200 million dollars or the ownership of a theme park of my choice and the immediate slaughtering of Mike eisner i would.....

/.....wonder who mike eiesneir was and poeorbaly sh##chooese the money!" :D

If I was a Oddworld creature...

TBS

...my survival would be calculated by a complex set of variants including such changables as 'what creature would I actually be' and 'would I survive'. Further complications would be created by the fact that Oddworld creatures are fictional, and so, therefore, I must be also - in which case, my survival would depend upon viewer ratings.

This product may contain...

Tonsils.

Dont swear unless...

...your mum is out of sight.

If I didn't have a choice, I would...

...be forced to eat the goddamned asparagous...

If I wasn't paying attention, my eyes might...

...might not be functioning.

When a computer displays a blue screen, it means...

..."Hit me".

I haven't been addicted to anything since I came off...

The Gloria Gaynor music

Gloria Gaynor deserves a big kiss on the....

Cerebrum.

The problem with bacon is...

.....it smells bad!PU!

The awnser to:theres somthing about Mary is....

it sucks when you get it to crispy.
The reason that people like to piss off suckers is....

...because most suckers tend to be quite tall, and so provide a nice high vantage point from which to piss.

If I ruled the world...

I would ban the AOL lady from ever appearing in an advert again.

I would rather have a 6lb brass paperclip than a...

...12 kilo wooden paperclip.

Cheerily I must...

...get to work and finish the Oddworld Encyclopedia website so that everyone here can enjoy it!

In the event that I meet a ten foot tall platypus I will...

run like hell.

If i were to somehow come across now very poor Bill Gates, begging for money and on the gutters of some street, i would...

I believe they're called eggplants in the States.

Point at him and laugh, safe in the knowledege that the superior Macs will now rule the computer world.

If I had a bucket of tripe and onions, a pink elephant and a tub of hair wax I would...

...take the hair wax and use it to wax the pink elephant's hairs (I presume that's what hair wax is used for), then proceed to prepare the tripe and onions as a tasty, yet rather bland, meal, which I shall call 'Tripe and Onion Meal', with the intention of feeding this meal to the elephant for the rest of its life.

I am very sorry for...