3 hours, from what I hear.

I am watching that stupid show Teen Mom on netflix. Because we like making fun of everyone, and because we don't really want to commit to watching a full length movie most of the time.

But good god, is that show horrible/hilarious. The two pig beasts probably entertain us the most. Ugh, my life is sort of sad right now.

I watched this show on TLC called 'Gypsy Weddings' or somesuch.

Despite the rather insane subject matter, it came across as a genuine effort to shed some light on Romani/Irish Travellers, something I imagine most people don't know much about. It turns out they are about 200% more crazy and incomprehensible as we thought. Still definitely recommend.

Also saw Green Lantern. In 3D. Absolutely the second most lackluster film I've seen this year (right behind Sucker Punch). The 3D was complete bullshit and the entire plot was completely mindless. Also the most barebones script ever.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. It's a hit over here.

Unfortunately. Some girl in my year had a specially made gypsy wedding dress for her prom. I say specially made because it had to be custom fit for her proportions. So everyone got a face full of an un-Godly amount of cleavage spilling from this thing. Trouble is she's probably around the 200 lb mark.

Transformers 3

Really fucking awesome!

Loved it.

I, also, saw the new Transformers movie.

Wasn't as bad as the second one, definitely wasn't as good as the first one, but it was okay. The story? Fucking crap, no one cares about the story anyways though. The special effects and fights? Good. Really good. It's a movie that you enjoy with your friend and laugh at the dumb things and go "whoa" at the explosions and shit.

I did dislike the overuse of the slow-motion scenes and Shockwave's strange worm-like arm or whatever it was.

Overall I'd give it a 6.5/10, it was ok. But the plot can go fuck itself, I guessed the whole "sentinel is evil, omg stop him awptimouss praem!" thing when the movie fucking started, it was just so predictable. And where the fuck is Unicron?!

Oh, also NOOOO, IRONHIDE :<

He had no personality.

The Tree of Life by Malick

astonishing and visually bombastic. yet I found some parts a bit kitschy, but all in all a huge film! I remembered 2001: Space Odyssey while watching this film. (one of my fave)

No, it was actually pretty good this time around.

No you didn't liar, nobody did.

In the 80s where it belongs.

That's right Strike Witch! Your opinion is fact and your ability to work out plot points in advance is insurmountable.

Now go out there and live the delusion.

i watched The Dirty Dozen again because i love Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine and Telly Savalas and you can all fuck off and rot if you say anything against them no fuck you motherfucker shut the fuck up

At least I'm not watching a show about grade-schoolers playing basketball and wearing tight bike shorts JOE

Well, maybe you liked it, but I thought it was one of the most dumbest plots ever.

As soon as Sentinel attacked Optimus and disagreed with working the humans, I knew he was gonna turn out to be the "bad guy".

Perhaps that's true, but they could have at least shown it in the end of the movie or something, I mean c'mon, it's the last movie in the series and it was over 2 hours long. At least show a small scene with it like floating around in space or something, that would've made the whole movie cooler.

Nope. TF4 is apparently in the works.

I streamed an episode of that '17 kids and counting' show the other day, simply because the episode description said that the family takes their kids to a creationist museum full of robotic dinosaurs. It was...Horrible. You know the deal: The Earth is only 6,000 years old, the grand canyon wasn't created by a little water over a long period of time, but rather by "a lot of water over a short period of time" [oh hai noah], man and dinosaurs lived together, etc. Fucking HORRIBLE. But the museum itself was pretty top notch. It's something I would go to just so I could have a hearty day-long belly laugh.

Oh god... this so tempts me to change my travel plans so that I can visit Kentucky.

I'd take jessa and... nggggh

Leave me at the border, thanks.

Kentucky: Come for the chicken, stay for the hospitality. Leave for the religion.

I saw X-Men: First Class it was a decent, fun movie. I liked some characters more than others, but it's a superhero team movie, you're supposed to play favourites.

And Constantine again. I like that film more than I should.

Transformers 3; pretty good I enjoyed most of it but I thought Shockwave *spoilers* was supposed to be the main villain!*spoilers* I feel cheated, thinking about buying the toy even though nothing will ever replace the G1 Shockwave to me ;)

Anyway besides the lack of Shockwave I just felt the whole movie lacked heart just like the other two some of the things Optimus Prime said really bothered me. Buit I thought overall it had the best aesthetics of the "trilogy" by far! I though Mirage, Shockwave, and Sentinel looked really slick. I also felt like this film was closest to G1 of the three, it paid homage to one of my fav G1 episodes (Transport to Oblivion) and it was fun to see that.

But yeah I'm hoping for a reboot now...

Nah, it was more Megatron's Master Plan, the Ultimate Doom, and a bit from Atlantis, Arise! mixed together with the new thing with Sentinel.

I saw Transformer 3.
Here we go.
It was marginally better than the second, but still an absolutely terrible movie. Funnish to watch, but still just a great stanking, stooping turd laid all over anyone who expected better. The girl who replaced Meghan Fox wasn't a terrible actress, an improvement even, but her and Shia Labouef's character's were just so pointless. They were only around as support for the other.

Obviously there were about 500 Million plotholes, but I'm going to avoid criticizing those for now. The first 20-30 minutes are essentially Micheal Bay simultaneously smearing cum on and shitting over the American flag. 'Blah blah blah conspiracy moon robots'. I was waiting for Shockwave to do something cool, but all that happens is he lumbers around, says 'Optimus Prime', eats a building and then gets punched in half.

Every decepticon dies. Megatron gets his head ripped off, Starscream is blinded and then gets some kind of lobotomy, various goons get blown up, etc... It leaves no room for a previous villain. Which means the next movie will either be Unicron or hopefully never gets made.

Speaking of Unicron, guess who isn't present at all? That first teaser trailer shows an old Transformer sitting in space who looks quite similar to Unicron. Nope. Instead it's just Jetfire from the first movie, except now he's a bad guy. Nice writing, Kruger. I feel mislead over this, but at the same time thankful Micheal Bay didn't get his grubby mitts all over one of my favorite Transformers.

Micheal Bay has had 3 opportunities to make these movies, he made one half decent one and then released two of the most god awful, bloated wastes of time and money in the world. You don't need to see TF3. You don't even need to think about it. Want a similar experience to watching all three movies? Get a deodorant stick. Smell it. There's Transformers. Now eat the deodorant, puke it up, and smell that. There's Revenge of the Fallen. Now rereconsume your vomit, digest it, mix the resulting pee and poo together and dump it all over your head and don't wash it off for 150 minutes. There's Dark of The Moon. You're fuckin' welcome.

I lol'd hardcore at the last paragraph, Mac. I would say you should go into the review-writing business, if it wasn't already so fucking saturated by countless blogs and that wank-stain Nostalgia Critic.

I recently watched Martin Rosen's The Plague Dogs. Brilliant film, though I found out afterwards I watched an abridged version that is 20ish minutes shorter than the original. I can't imagine I missed anything too vital though, since 90% of the film as it is was the two dogs aimlessly wandering the countryside. I recommend it, and it's more famous counterpart Watership Down, to anyone who wants to see an animated movie with talking animals that doesn't suck.

BUT BUT BUT ZOOKEEPER LOOKS SO GOOD!

I saw Hobo With a Shotgun. Do you know what that is? It's the most Canadian film ever made. It's a fucking masterpiece. Here, have a trailer.



I'm fond of the Robots that allegedly killed Jesus.

watched the plague dogs a few years ago. i really enjoyed it, bu it was so sad D= ... To think that cartoons can fill me with such serious emotion.


I also wathed Transformers a few days ago... Strangely, I didnt hate it. But I also went in, fully knowing it would be quite terrible and just an FX orgie.

Hobo looks pretty fuckin' tits. AND ITS ON NETFLIX. AND OH SNAP RUTGER HAUER.
The visuals remind me of Condemned, only more colorful.

Also, The Zookeeper. Fuck my anus. I had pretty much no respect for Kevin James as it was, but now he's below absolute zero. That's right, below absolute zero. I bet Lord Kelvin never predicted that something so low that it defies quantum physics would be a porcine C-list actor.

His birth name was "Knipfing". Thats a way funnier name than "James". So much for his comedic genius.

Yeah. :(
I felt so bad for Snitter. He was so hopeful that everything would be okay.

I saw transformers. The only memory of the cartoon I have is of Witwicky's consciousness being implanted into a transformer and hi going mad because of it. So I'm clearly not plugged into the same source of rage as old fans.

As it is, I remember an hour long robot battle scene, which I enjoyed, and a desperate, painful urge to pee, which I did not.

The last hour was the only good part. Everything else, well you know. Deoderant poop and all.

Me and Jordan also watched this dumb little number right here:

This movie just baffled me. 90 minutes, released in 1997, lots of cheesiness. You know.
And then the dog gets hit by a car.
And then it comes back as a comet.
And then there's an Italian.
And then there's like FIVE DINNER SCENES IN THE SAME RESTAURANT. More, even.
And then it fuckin' ends.

Now, how it ends bothered me. The main boy's dog Lucky, well he's dead as hell. He comes back as a ghost dog, hijinks ensue, and then he goes back to dog heaven (as another dumb fucking Particle Illusions comet), decreeing "Never forgut me, Tobes, I'll be watching you even when you can't see me."

And then the kid gets ANOTHER dog. Luckier. It's just...it doesn;t help the grieving process for my beloved Milo.

Oh, and the dog can talk because he's a ghost, and it's just the dumbest voice ever. I mean that. It's an audible lack of intelligence.

Why did you think Sentinel Prime was Unicron?

Why did you even think Unicron would be in this one?

I gave a shit about the production of ROTF, it ended up being everything wrong with film. I figured if I ignored production for Dark, it wouldn't be half bad. I was, of course completely wrong. Garbage in garbage out.

When I saw the first teaser trailer, I was like 'ehh, looks like Unicron, might not be a moon, but he's on the moon. Good enough.' I figured Bay/Kruger would be clearheaded enough not to just reuse the entire character concept of Jetfire all over and try to make you think it was a villain, again I was wrong. Leonard Nimoy should go back to bed and someone should just make a fucking movie where a planet gets eaten already so I don't have to watch these things or answer insipid questions.

So you mistook a normal sized this guy:
http://i51.tinypic.com/2rfu06h.jpg

For this guy:
http://i53.tinypic.com/9j146d.jpg

Not to mention you actually thought they'd use the hokey-est part of the old cartoon show in the film. Wow, man.

I heard/read a rumour that Unicron was involved in the plot somehow when TF3 was in pre production (when Skids and Mudflap were still in the plot). I'm not sure why you're trying to be clever about this when I've made it pretty clear it was both an honest mistake and a pretty harmless one, but then again you actually still like this drek so I guess you're being defensive. No need, kiddo. I didn't like the movie, nothing you can do about it, but then again you're the one who wants to nitpick after I brought up how a family comedy made me distressed about my dead dog. Thanks for that, by the way.

I saw Bad Teacher and Horrible Bosses.

Bad Teacher was pretty damn funny. It relied heavily upon awkward humor, but fuck it, I love awkward humor. Pretty raunchy too.

Horrible Bosses. I really wanted to like it a lot, even though going into it I hadn't enjoyed the trailers that much. It had people I like in it, so maybe I had too high of expectations. Either way, it had its funny moments, but it was slow as hell. It was less than two hours, but felt much longer. I think there was maybe one laugh out loud moment, and the rest were mere chuckles. Also, if you see it dont stay for the blooper real, one of my friends made us and FUCK DAMNIT, there was one moment that made me rage so hard.

Jennifer Aniston was hot though.

Didn't even read it, jumped straight to reply.

Watched Cyrus last night. I dislike Jonah Hill, but I really like John C. Riley and Marisa Tomei, so things sort of balanced out. Based on the plot description, we were expecting a comedy, but it was more of an awkward/drama/wtf kind of movie. Still, Riley is flexing his acting muscles, which is good, because I fell in love with the ogre way back when Magnolia came out. Jonah Hill is more detestable than he ever has been before. He was cast...Perfectly.

We also watched Cedar Rapids, and that was...Pretty okay. Ed Helms makes me laugh with his moon faced/wide-eyed wonder delivery of everything, John C. Riley was an asshole, and Wendell Pierce [from HBO's The Wire] was pretty funny, plus the fact that he kept plugging The Wire made it even better.