My cousin has had them. He described being in intolerable pain, despite how heavily medicated he was.

Good luck, you poor, poor thing.

Alcar...

No, they can quite easily be stuck in there permanently. But when we evolved they were unlikely to be an issue anyway. Different lifestyle, different diet, and of course, we probably wouldn't live long enough either. On top of that, anyone who did get them would soon be eliminated from the population anyway.

I mean like... fifty years ago...

Surgery if you could afford it, horrible, horrible pain indefinitely if you could not.

So....



What happens during ejaculation?

Pebble-ridden semen.

My semen doesn't come from my kidney. Does yours?

Daxter King needs his plumbing reorganised..

Kidney-Cum

Bwahah!

Fortunately, I've managed to avoid kidney stones so far (touch wood). My brother had them a while ago. From his description of the pain, I don't think I want them. Have fun, my friend!

It is said that the kidneys are one of the most, sensitive organs in the human body, "second" only to the eyes and genitals. Stabbing someone in the kidney would cause them such excruciating pain that they will be immediately incapacitated, possibly unconscious.


This does not surprise me. You have stabbed the guy, after all.

So what's the relation between kidney beans and kidney stones?

Plant the stone and it grows into a bean.

None. Contrary to popular belief, kidney beans are not named for their superficial similarity to animal kidneys, but is rather a corruption of the phrase "kid knee beans," harking back to the day when children would be brutally mutilated and their knees used for fertiliser in the bean yards.

What age was this in? I want to know more.

Fifties, I think.

No, I just assumed that yours did. With you always ranting about your bodily functions I figured something was wrong in there.

"What did you do on the weekend while we were away, Simon?"
"I had the stomach flu for a little while, but I feel better."
"That's good."
"Oh yeah, and I talked to a guy from Oddworld Forums about his kidney stones on Xbox live."

Last May:

"So Marcus, what did you do last weekend?"
"I stayed the night in London with some guys I met on the Internet."

November - August:

"So Charlie, where did you meet that rampaging homosexual hobbit"

"*Sigh* The Internet"

It's a bit difficult explaining the presence of people who live far away when you only know them from the internet. It just feels......silly.

Of course, when you do meet, you already know them better than some of your in-person friends, particularly if in real life they are more introverted. Just get their personal mannerisms down in the awkward first moments and it's as if you've known them for years. You have, after all.

Oh, I know. It's just the explanations that are difficult.

I don't bother. I find that the looks on their faces makes the pains of the journey home melt away.

I remember that. Then you left without saying goodbye because you thought we were still asleep, and I thought you’d just gone down to the toilet or to get some water or something.

Really? Who asked you that? :p

Alcar...

How many times do I have to keep apologising for that? It was a total mind flub.

Last May:

"So who are you meeting?"
"Oh, just some friends"
"How do you have friends in London?"
"From a website"
"Oh. Are they gay?"
"Yes. No. Wait! It's not that kind of site! dang"

I love that.

You don’t have to apologize, just don’t expect me to forget. It was ever so cute, after all.

No one ever asked me who I was meeting.

‘I’m going to London for the weekend.’
‘Oh, O.K.’
‘To meet some friends.’
‘How much were the train tickets?’
‘Bye, Mum.’

Sneaking out the next morning without a word is considered cute? I'll keep that in mind.

But you left an adorable message.

My flatmates were oddly at ease with the fact I'd bought a girl I'd just met in person back to my flat to sleep with her after knowing her online for twelve months, but then again they are students.

In fact I think the conversation went something like this...

'Hey Joe, how long you been going out with your girl?'
'Just over a year now'
'Ahh cool, but wait, doesn't she live here in Scotland?'
'Met her on World of Warcraft'
'Ahh that's cool, want to bring her to the Iron Stomach competition down at the union?'
'...'

That is like the nerd's ultimate fantasy.

I have no idea what I wrote now. I really should have stayed, I got so fucking lost the moment I walked out the door.

I can’t find it right now, but you did address it to P+W.

At least I didn't use "Max & Alcar".


Wait, you kept it?

For a long while, yes. I may have thrown it away more recently, or I may just have left it at home when I moved back to uni.

I also have your sunglasses.

Seriously?

I've heard tell that he wears them at night. And then he cries.

Fuck.