No, Maid, that's the least you could ask from an over-corrupt enterprise
led by me. I'm not going to let your spirit wither away so fast. I'm sorry, but you are fired. Just kidding, but you lost the job. Would not want to risk losing you to a chunk of meat. (But we can still benefit from you in all stages of your life.) Ah, great, now I'm going to need a new Tester. Hey, Creepy Doc, people trust you. How would you like the job. A handsome sum for success, and a death sentence (by the food) for failure. I'll await your answer. :
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Spoose Chockies
Yellow Centre with the essence of mint. One bite will give a bursting, crackling sensation. Nothing like you ever tasted before. Eat them and how have the powers of possessions and they have medical purposes too. Nothing can be any sweeter. CAUTION: Too much can rot the teeth and seriously affect the digestive system. |
Ninjaxe Munchies.
Ingredients: One Ninjaxe. Take your basic Ninjaxe and slice into bitesize chunks with a rusty chainsaw. Eat. :lick: |
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so where should I sign that contract? :D |
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Aww... however:
-Munch fries -Glukkon pops -Elum chops -Mudokon O's... |
Mudokon O's?
BLLllleeeeeggrhhrhhgh. So far, the most appetizing creature on Oddworld seems to be either the Paramite or the Elum... And when I say appetizing, I mean it in the loosest sense of the word. |
Fried slurg with a garlic sauce, served with a side of scrab and meech chili.
...mmm, I just made myself hungry. |
then have this:
Giant Purple Slegburgers: 1 lb. ground giant purple-assed sleg meat. 2 oz. gabbiar 2 tablespoons of vykker's labs' food coloring agent purple number 43 1 oz. vykker's labs' special meat-binding agent number 7 |
Eh to lasy to read whole topic. Sorry if some of my ideas were already used :p.
Paramite pie! Put a paramite in a pie and you're done! Scrab cake! Put some scrab guts in a frosted color cake and you're done! :D It's so original :rolleyes: :lol:. |
Just for your knowledge, Guyect, sligburger, steefburger and probably slogburger has already been created. But thanks to Alcar and his first failed attemp at upgrading the forums, half the posts in the thread have been deleted so you probably won't find them all around here.
On the other hand here's a whole new range of Spire Brokerage's latest products. Paramite Puffs. Paramites just went another step forward. Scrab Patties. Your mouth will be howling like the Devil of Hellcry.(Or something like that.) Bolamite Burgers. Even the ladies don't back away from these irresistible treats. Meetle Munchies. Isn't that a new twist to your food?! Slig 'N' slogs FINEST ready-mixed meat for fat and lazy American guys. Quote by Hardees narrator: "Naturally you could go to the store, buy it seperately, and mix it at home...but then you would have to buy it seperately and mix it at home. Guys. Slig 'N' Slog's. Spire Brokerage. |
Mudokon ice cream!
(...even Rupture Farm is the only factory which could make meat ice... yummy :p) |
You've also been late for the job lately, Creepy Doc. You know, I
would love to give you a raise and handle your retirement contract and such. Mmmm, Doc Brownies. (salivates) Creepy Doc: You're getting more gross every time you post here, Spirrow. Spirrow: Yep, that's the price to success. _________________________________________ This message brought to you by: Maid Munchies "Mmm Mmm, it'll cost her more than an arm and a leg." |
But srsly...
Glukkon Glace Cherries.
TREASON! |
Did you mean "glazed" cherries. So what's the recipe list.
New list: Stunkburger. It's not what you think. Meechburger. We found the very last decomposing scraps in a corner and spiced it up for you. Elum Slabs. (crickets chirrup) |
I've got some more ideas of products:
Mountain Brew. Sounds sorta familiar New Soullite Porta-Brews. Be Warned: Not much more portable than the original. Slog Pops. Salty and chewy. Elum pudding. Slimy and slurpy. Meep Mash. Advised for young children only. (They are more likely to choke on it.) |
Don't bouble post (sorry,I couldn't resist correcting somebody for once :p)
EDIT: Sorry,I didn't see the date.Damn I'm ****tarded |
Double posting is okay if there are several days between posts. In that case, editing wouldn't help as it wouldn't bump the thread up.
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I do it like that all the time if several days or up to a week has passed.
I know it's not against the rules. |
Sausage juice. Yummy!
or Gastric juice. Hmmm! :) |
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ON-TOPIC: Ummmm... pooh-burgers. With perhaps piglet relish. |
Oh, I was addressing ANGRY ELEPHANT as well, not you, Nate.
Since when did you like to eat Disney products. And Creepy Doc, what is "Gastric Juice"? It almost sound as crazy and delicious as Mountain Brew. (see far above for details) |
Mountain brew? Eww, urgh, that's disgusting.
Gimme a Scrab Juice. |
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And I have no problems with admitting that I just went to my own bookshelf to find The House at Pooh Corner to check the spelling of his name. :p |
Well, you did add another word "piglet" to your post which would make the
thought pop up immediately, Nate. Bullet Magnetburger: Ingredients: One Bullet Magnet Use any resource that's not metal on Oddworld to chop and batter his meat into raw burger meat. Press, grill, and eat. BEWARE: Do not use metal tools against him when he's alive. He may manipulate it with his magnetic powers and turn it against you. |
Eh, it was obviously a Winnie the Pooh reference. My objection was the Disneyfication of a wonderfully British brand.
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I taste best flame grilled! :flames: |
(stares up at BM's head hanging from the wall)
HEY! Your not supposed to be talking. Shut your trap. (fires metal bullets at his head) _____________ Let's just say your head was severed but you were still alive. That's just plain crazy. |
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll shut up then. :dead:
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Dah, you were supposed to send the bullets flying back towards me.
And then I'd pull Nate up front and...well you get the point. |
Roast Spirrow
Ingredients:One Spirrow Take the spirrow and smother it with a pillow.Cut it's head of and roast the body.Cover in sauce and serve. Mmmmmmmmm Spirrow |
I wrote this lovely whistle-blower transcript on the paramite pie recipe thread, but while I was writing, Max closed it. Ah well. Here it is, in all it's disgusting, too-much-information glory.
Well, they call them "homestyle" but that is clearly a ruse. The Paramite Pies they make at Rupture Farms are not like the ones I would make at home. Firstly, I suspect there is very little paramite in the pies. Probably not more than five percent. After all, supply is limited, and I don't think that it could keep up with demand, or thae actual number of pies they churn out. The rest is probably filler, perhaps grisle and marrowbone, slogmeat (the general public aversion to slogmeat is a clear indicator that it is probably present in the RF Novelty Meat Products), and , let's face it, the odd clumsy slig and mudokon. Now this is where the Magog Cartel's links with the Vykkers Conglomerate are invaluable. Expect pies (in fact, all their products) to be chock full of Vykkers crap. Baby Chow, Gum Rot, probably Butt Flo, and Odd knows what else are loaded into RF products. This preserves the "food", not so that the khanzumer can keep it stored for a long time, but so that the Glukkons can sell it to them, no matter how old it is. It could also be part of a conspiracy to get them addicted to the pies, and to the Vykkers additives. Now, the gravy... let's not even go there. Nope. No way. The pastry probably has the least hideous secrets of all. Your basic pastry, glazed with honey from the bees' nests. Oh, and a disturbingly high mercury content. Yup. RF's secrets are out, and now RF is out to get me. Just count yourselves lucky I didn't tell you about the scrab cakes! Or the Meech Munchies. Or *shudders* the "Elum Chubs". come to think of it, the Mudokon Pops were probably the healthiest product being sold. Well, not for the mudokons, obviously... |
This would probably make the health teacher at my high school faint ;)
Well, what could I make? I have the perfect one for you guys. Glow-signal Cake Perfect for sending secret messages to relatives stuck in jail! Ingredients: Basic cake mix Chocolate Fireflys (only the ones from Rupture farms stock yards!) Firefly training skills A heat-proof plastic bag Procedure First, spend your time training the fireflys to form a message of your choice when you chant. Next, actually tell them the message. Recommended ones are escape plans, how to make a weapon, or tips on keeping 'Bubba' off your ass. Then, when they have it down, cover them in the heat-proof bag. Make the chocolate cake mix. Pour into huge pan, putting bag with fireflys in halfway into pouring. Then cook the cake, and deliver it to the relative, whispering for them to chant when the guards aren't looking! Whamo! A secret way to send messages to friends! |
But if they can chant, can't they just possess?
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Ah, Bullet Magnet, I thought for a moment you were suggesting Paramite
Pies were loaded with vykkers' deposits. And I catch your drift about using products like Butt Flo in the food. It not only is a simply way of loading the pies easier, but there aren't much ways to sue RF if you don't have constant loads of crappa gushing from your arse and a case of gum disease in your mouth. Don't forget, Mitsur, chanting and the forming of fireflies in the game made an awful lot of noise. Just the same as one might give a plastic with word fireflies-you can also give a small slip of paper. Meanwhile a small list: Paramite Pasta. Small baked chunks of paramite mixed with saucy noodles. Paramite Paste. It's the all new portable paramite in a tube. Fleech Flubber. Chews like rubber. Scrabbits. Ground up bloody scrab flesh boiled in hot water for hours until dissolved. A flavorful drink. |
scrambled scrab legs mixed with liquidised mudokon arms with a paramite steak stuffed with steef. with meep gravy.
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Rupture Farms? RF is quite unprofitable, it's a large stinking pile of scrape so I would probably sell it off and organize smth new... and with professional employees instead of mudokon slaves.
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RuptureFarms is profitable, or how else would they have chewed out the paramites and scrabs that much as to wipe them to the brink of extinction?
Afterall, Abe did happen to say in the beginning of AO that it was the "biggest" meat processing plant on Oddworld. But that doesn't mean it's the only one on Oddworld. Which reminds me on a new product: Bullet Boyz Double Steef and Cheese Subs. Addictive. :
for eating Bullet Boy. How did you know I was a bird, Angry Elephant? |
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