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-   -   The Joke Thread (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=14081)

Lord Vulcher 06-28-2006 10:35 AM

:

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

You're the right sort of person for my forum. To go there click on the link in my signature.

Lord Vulcher 06-28-2006 10:36 AM

:

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

You're the right sort of person for my forum. To go there click on the link in my signature.

Lord Vulcher 06-28-2006 10:36 AM

:

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

You're the right sort of person for my forum. To go there click on the link in my signature.

used:) 06-28-2006 10:38 AM

Wow, great job at clicking the post button three times.

Lord Vulcher 06-28-2006 10:39 AM

:

Wow, great job at clicking the post button three times.

Oh no! Will a Moderator please delete the last two posts?

Statikk HDM 06-28-2006 07:05 PM

Anybody know any Yo Momma jokes? My favorite has to be
"Yo momma so stupid when yo Daddy said "I wanna eat your pussy!" she broasted the cat.

used:) 06-28-2006 07:18 PM

I love Yo Mamma jokes, I hate Ur Mom jokes. They're not even jokes, they're just a stupid pop culture replies to anything people say these days.

E'l Scrabino 06-28-2006 11:42 PM

:lol: Oh gawd, i'm dieing from laughter!

But i gots a joke! But...heehee...i...hahahaho...*dies*

A hunter successfully kills a deer and brings it home for dinner, but he knows his kids are picky eaters and won't eat it if they knew what it was.
So near dinner time, his son say, "Dad, what's for supper?" and the dad replies, "You'll see..." and half-way through dinner, his daughter this time says, "what are we having, Dad?" and the dad says, "I'll give you a hint, it's what Mummy sometimes calls me." "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING ASSHOLE!" screams the daughter!


Good, eh?

Lord Vulcher 06-29-2006 07:08 AM

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:lol: Oh gawd, i'm dieing from laughter!

But i gots a joke! But...heehee...i...hahahaho...*dies*

A hunter successfully kills a deer and brings it home for dinner, but he knows his kids are picky eaters and won't eat it if they knew what it was.
So near dinner time, his son say, "Dad, what's for supper?" and the dad replies, "You'll see..." and half-way through dinner, his daughter this time says, "what are we having, Dad?" and the dad says, "I'll give you a hint, it's what Mummy sometimes calls me." "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING ASSHOLE!" screams the daughter!


Good, eh?

Now that is funny.

Statikk HDM 06-29-2006 11:12 AM

Asshole: Its whats for dinner! :D

E'l Scrabino 06-29-2006 07:14 PM

Yay people like my (stolen) jokes :D!

A factory decides to hire a new CEO, just to shake things up.
The new CEO is the real deal, and he wants to show everyone he means buisness. So whilst he's walking through the factory, he sees a guy leaning on a wall while everyone else is working, so the CEO thinks this is the right time to show everyone that he takes no crap, and asks the guy on the wall, "How much do you earn in a week?" the guy then replies, "$100.00 a week, sir." so the CEO then digs in his pockets, pulls out some money and hands it to the guy, "Here's two weeks pay now get out of here and don't ever come back!" so the guy grabs the money and walks away, never to return, and the CEO asks one of the workers, "You mind telling me what that guy was 'sposed to be doing here?" "Nothing much," says the worker with a sheepish grin "He was a delivery guy from pizza hut!"

Good or what?

Daxter King 06-29-2006 10:22 PM

Scrabino the first joke was hilarious, but the second not so much.

Lord Vulcher 06-30-2006 04:51 AM

You're going to be great on the forum El Scrabino.

Statikk HDM 06-30-2006 04:18 PM

Duly noted in my sig. If this place had a draft I would have traded up for him.
What do caviar and Michael Jackson have in common?
They're both black and come on little white crackers.

skillya_glowi 06-30-2006 08:24 PM

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:lol: Oh gawd, i'm dieing from laughter!

But i gots a joke! But...heehee...i...hahahaho...*dies*

A hunter successfully kills a deer and brings it home for dinner, but he knows his kids are picky eaters and won't eat it if they knew what it was.
So near dinner time, his son say, "Dad, what's for supper?" and the dad replies, "You'll see..." and half-way through dinner, his daughter this time says, "what are we having, Dad?" and the dad says, "I'll give you a hint, it's what Mummy sometimes calls me." "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING ASSHOLE!" screams the daughter!


Good, eh?

She calls him venison?

Kimon 06-30-2006 09:04 PM

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She calls him venison?

She calls him "Dear", silly.

E'l Scrabino 06-30-2006 11:33 PM

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Duly noted in my sig. If this place had a draft I would have traded up for him.

I don't understand that :fuzconf:

:

You're gonna be great on the forum, E'l Scrabino...


Indeed i shall...


And so this isn't classed as :spam:, i shall post a joke!

Two cowboys come upon an indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground, "See that indian?" says one cowboy to another, "Yep" replies the other, "Well, he is listening to the ground, he can here stuff from miles in any direction!" says the first cowboy, then the indian looks up, "Covered wagon" he says, "About 2 miles away. Have 2 horses, one white, one brown with white spots. White man, woman, and child. Household effects inside."
"Wow!" says one cowboy, "He knows what kind of wagon, how far away it is, what colour the people are on it, how many people and horses, the colour of the horses, and what's inside the wagon!" "Ran over me about half an hour ago." says the indian...

Statikk HDM 07-01-2006 08:39 AM

Religious Theme Days at Amusement Parks(Saw at Fark)
On Amish Day, they just take the signs and put them in front of a hay field and pretend that that's where the park has always been.

On Catholic Day, you must have this many kids in order to ride.

On Jewish Day, everything's so expensive and it's so hot and the lines are so long and they call this a bagel?!?!?!?

On Raelian Day, the lines are short and the refreshments are free.

Aryan Day and Mormon Day are held concurrently. So far, no one has noticed.

OANST 07-01-2006 11:41 AM

Only problem with that joke is that the Raelians aren't the poisoned kool aid people which is what that implies. Other than that it was pretty funny.

Havoc 07-01-2006 05:50 PM

I love Yo Momma jokes!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! They had to evacuate the beach because she wanted to roll over! BOOM!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! When she takes a dive in the ocean, the entire eastern shore will be whiped out!

Mutual Friend 07-01-2006 05:55 PM

My mum died due to complusive overeating. :(




Nah, only shitting you. She's alive and well. She is fat, though.

OANST 07-01-2006 06:03 PM

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I love Yo Momma jokes!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! They had to evacuate the beach because she wanted to roll over! BOOM!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! When she takes a dive in the ocean, the entire eastern shore will be whiped out!


Yo Momma is so stupid that she laughed at those jokes.

Havoc 07-01-2006 06:05 PM

My Momma probably would!

OANST 07-01-2006 06:28 PM

Daaaammmmmnnnnnnn. He called his mamma out!

used:) 07-01-2006 06:37 PM

Yo mamma's so fat, my cat spent all of its nine lives trying to get around her.

Yo mamma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

OANST 07-01-2006 07:01 PM

How do you stop a baby from drowning?





Take your foot off of its head.

Leto 07-01-2006 11:43 PM

You are full of them, Sir Oanst. :happy:

Mudoko_Jedi 07-02-2006 12:48 AM

yo mamma is so fat we ran out of fuel swerving round her in our car.

yo mamma is so fat the only thing stopping her going to see a diet recommender is a door.

yo mamma is so fat she has her own atmosphere.

yo mamma is so fat youre dad was having sex with her and he rolled over five times and he was still on top of her.

Lord Vulcher 07-02-2006 04:31 AM

What are the simalairities between Michael Jackson and a knife?

Answer: They are both dangerous to children.

Mutual Friend 07-02-2006 05:45 AM

:

What are the simalairities between Michael Jackson and a knife?

Answer: They are both dangerous to children.

That man was proved innocent. Why can't you people leave him alone?!

Boom boom.

Lord Vulcher 07-02-2006 05:49 AM

:

That man was proved innocent. Why can't you people leave him alone?!

Boom boom.

Sorry, I never knew you liked him.

Mojo 07-02-2006 12:32 PM

Yo momma is so fat, she has shoe size CANOE!

Yo momma is so fat, that when she fell in down the Grand Canyon, she got STUCK!

Yo momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes of film!

Yo momma is so fat, when her beeper went offm people thought she was backing up!

Yo momma is so fat, when you climb on top of her, your ears pop!

EDIT: Ba-dum TISH!

Lord Vulcher 07-02-2006 12:39 PM

When the forensic scientists did an autotopsy on Michael Jackson's body, what did they find on his head?

Answer: Made in China

Leto 07-02-2006 05:59 PM

Yo mamma so fat, when she sat on a park bench she was engulfed in a river of semen.

Lord Vulcher 07-02-2006 11:57 PM

Listen, I'm starting to find all these yo mamma jokes a bit boring. You practicaly have a whole page of them.

Mudoko_Jedi 07-03-2006 01:24 AM

whats the same between michale jackson and a playstation.

their both made of plastic and kids turn them on.

Lord Vulcher 07-03-2006 01:42 AM

If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a building, which would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette: because the blonde stopped to ask for directions.

E'l Scrabino 07-03-2006 01:52 AM

Blonde jokes now? I'll haf to think some up...
Oooo! Got one!

Two blondes were walking down a street, and one of them was carrying a big bag, one asked the other, "What's in the bag?" The other said, "Chickens." "If i can guess how many chickens there are in the bag, can i have one of them?
replied the one without the bag, "If you guess how many there are, i'll give you both of them!" "Well, i think you have three..."

Mudoko_Jedi 07-03-2006 02:21 AM

lol

Patrick Vykkers 07-03-2006 02:39 AM

Yo Momma Quintology
 
Yo momma's so fat, I had to take two buses and a train just to get on her good side!
Yo momma's so ugly, Halloween is the one day of the year when she DOESN'T have to wear a mask!
Yo momma's so fat, she went to Japan and they thought she was Godzilla!
Yo momma's so old when the Big Bang went off, she said, "You kids turn that damn noise down!"
Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked in front of the T.V., I missed all the Star Wars movies!