Oh the confusions I've had with english people when discussing such topics as the colour of my school uniform pants or "I lost my pants!"

I'm amused by the way that people pronounce "Collin Powell" as "Cole-in". For God sakes! It's "Coll-in"!

Rich, thank god for you! Nobody else seems to understand that. For the record, Americans do not say "colon", we pronounce it correctly, but for some reason the dipshit insists on being called Colon, so we have to oblige him. If he wants to be named after the organ in the human body in which water is absorbed from solid waste, that's his own thing.

Yes, period means the same thing in America as well. It just means "full stop" in addition. I suppose that's quite odd. I try not to think about it. Normally I don't hide my idiosynchrasies, but I think after a certain point you just have to go with the flow, no matter how stupid and absurd that flow is, lest too much be lost in translation. Honestly, I don't trust my fellow Americans to understand me if I start ending my sentences with "full stops".

Tee hee hee, pants! Bwa ha ha ha! I presume you call them trousers?

Heh heh. I always suspected something to be wrong with my sixth and seventh grade band teacher. It should have been a dead giveaway when he told us to wear black pants to every concert. Pervert!

Cheers.

Indeed.
Although some of your word changes make sense.
USA = Sidewalk. Makes sense, as that's a description of it.
England = Pavement? What the hell!

Yep. It's like a big ol' bowl a mixed nuts. Ya got yer cashews in there, and yer almonds, and ya can't just pick out the peanuts and the filberts, 'cause that ain't no way to live. Ya gotta take the good with the bad. The cashews and the almonds with the peanuts and the filberts. Mmmmyup. Just change bowl to "language", cashews and almonds to "good ideas", peanuts and filberts to "bad ideas", and it will make sense.

Idea. Let us all refer to menstrual periods and menstrual periods, and full stops as full stops, UNLESS they're used in abbreviations such as Mr., Mrs., Dr., et cetera, in which case they will be known as periods. Trousers will be known as pantaloons, and underwear (pants) will be known as "lower undergarments", and bras and undershirts will be known as "upper undergarments", with underwear being used to describe both. And we'll call sidewalks "paved road-flankers". Mm-hmm.

LOL, but I learned that the . at the end of Mr. and such isn't actually meant to be there, as it's not missing any letters at the end of it, if anything, it should be M.r
.

I had to put the fullstop on the second line, because it wouldn't have got my point across on the other, and I can't end without one.

So you're saying Mr. should be M.r? Where in the hell did you learn that?

No he meant "M.r.". But thats wrong because its not two words. Mister would still become Mr. or maybe (at the extreme) M'r

M'r makes more sense. The idea of the full stop at the end of the abbreviation of mister is that it's an abbreviation, so it should have one. In Britain, we're now taught to leave it out of Mr, Mrs and Dr, and I concur.

‘Sidewalk’ only makes sense if it's a pavement down the side of a road. For pedestrianised zones it makes even less sense than ‘pavement.’ ;)

My theory is that pedestrianised areas are described as roads, streets or squares. You needn't refer to it as 'sidewalk' or 'pavement'.
Pavement would be better suited though, as it sort of means 'paved area'.

"Mister" is a shortened version of the latin word "magister", which means "teacher". If you're going to abbreviate a word, it should have a period. Why not?