HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're a bloody good artist! You have inspired me to create my own series! ( Not of Evit :P)
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This is a great story!! But I'd better go buy a dictionary to understand those really complicated words.. I really like the way you... write.
Ever played Planescape: Torment, by the way? |
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and i will posta pic of Evit soon. |
ok chapter...um, which was it again?
Pluk Pluk Pluk... What was that? He turned, water was dripping off a leaf. He had been walking for days now, how many? He had lost count. "he sits in the water, the water was crisp and cool, it caressed his feet like a blanket of satisfaction. But ahead lied dark skies, the Caloriaoain black market #8, the area of the Oddilus bounty hunters! "One EsssssssTrrroy mattticc Airrr gunnnn" hissed the cloaked figure, "that kinda dope is heavy pal, you got the right green?". The figure placed 500,000,000,000,000 Black-Tongue moolah on the table, "Thisssss should fillll the dealllll" he hissed. The clerk reached back and pulled out a large gun, The Estroy-matic air rifle. "If anyone sees you wit dat, yous didn't get it from me!" wispered the clerk, the hooded figure sharpened his blue glowing eyes and slid away into the rain. to be continued..... |
THAT'S IT SO FAR! I just read the whole thing and it's great, and also suspenceful. Hurry up with the new chapter, and Evit pics!
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chapter....er
this one has a title: NEGLISONIAN, AND SHARON.....TWO WONDERS BEFUDDLED. "HI", said sharon hangin from the tree. "Evit" walked by, hardly noticing her, "whats your name?" she asked. "Evit" stopped, this questions answer was also a mystery to him, "Evit" he said. "Evit? well im sharon" she said hyperly jumping in front of him extending her hand. Evit walked by again. "your not too polite are you" she nubbled. "go away, i have not the time to play with little girls" he said, "im not little! i'm 13!" she answered like a 5 year old. "whatever, go away" he said, he turned...she was gone. Evit kept walking, but there was something strange, he had two feet but they were making noise of four. He stopped. No sound. He started to walk again, and still there were four feet. He stopped and looked down, his feet were stopped...so what was that noise? He turned around. Nothing. Meanwhile the cloaked figure known only as Neglisonian skulked through the rain his peircing blue eyes reflected on the rain drops like blue high beams, "fffind the bannndagged one ssssss" he hissed to himself. to be continued..... |
EVIL MONSTER, STOP KEEPING ME IN SUSPENCE!!!
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dude my scanner's busted, just marvel at my wrieing skills until its repaired!
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Gomen nasai. I must of missed that bit in the second chapter. Comes from reading more than one fic at once, while chatting....
Mistoffelees: If you keep that up, your head will implode, and I'll laugh. ....Misto, muses only come out when the author is writing a story. Misto: Well I've been following you around everywhere else, adn I've been here before. *sigh* I'm going to return to my review now. Misto: Ok. I noticed a few spelling/grammer errors in that chapter, do you need a beta-reader? It could help a lot. Most of the time I need someone to do mine, 'cause I wrote them at 1 am or something, and they look really bad. |
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OH SHOOT ME!
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hEY sligslinger!!! wHEN dOEs tHE nexT cHAPtER coME OUT???+++?????+???++???+++?++??
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dont worry bout chapters im workin on my own site now i guess building a site is almost as hard as makin a book of a whole character geezz
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chapter.....
FIVE HANDED BULLETS "ICHO" said Kevin, BANG! He shot his gun he corkscrewed from his cloak, kevin draws his second one hand gun, the turn and spin his hand lay harshly on the hammer. "backlo up to my sedt" he said releasing the hammer and pulling the trigger, trees fell under his great weight. "very well done, Kevinnn! You're hirrreeddd" hissed Neglisonian. The 50 stories of Kevin was massive, humungous, but had a job to fill with the shell-headed Oddilus, Neglisonian. Meanwhile Evit walked through the woods endlessly being poked and picked at my Sharon who was the one following him before, "why dont you talk, if you move those bandages maybe you could talk better" she said gleefully. "NO! Go away!" Evit shouted, but she still followed. RUMLE RUMBLE RUMBLE, the ground shook violently, CRASH, Kevin towered above them both with his red glowing visor peering through the rain. "Bannndeged one hsss" hissed Neglisonian riding a-top the sky-scraping beast. "I havvve beeen sent to killll you!" he hissed, "Why? Give me an answer!" Evit screamed, "not until you ansssswer one of myyy quessstionssss hsss" he hissed, Evit agreed. "who are you?" he asked, this questions shot Evit's mind into shock, his eyes sank as if something had aged him 1000 years in an instant. "I dont know!" he shouted as if from the depth of his lost soul. "a vague anssswer, i detesst the uncertainty that makes you what you arrrre!" he hissed as Kevin drew a 300 foot shot gun from his cloak, BANG!!! to be continued.... |
BANG! WHat happens to EVIT! Poor little bugger! Don't kill him! He's so young! HE needs to find his identity! Good Chapter BTW!
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Quite good, you are good at building supsence. Keep it up.
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IS your scanner fixed yet sligslinger? I wanna see Evit! Thanx!
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Evits Oddysee....continued
well, for some reason the old thread was lost so i brought i back for your enjoyment
Chapter...???....do any of you remember?!?! |
After getting his bearings, Evit grabbed the bodies and threw them in a pit. A pit caused by the tremendous shaking of Kevin, but what was this sudden strike of amnesia, he couldn't remember what happened, it was crippled and blurred. Evit wiped the sweat from his bandaged forehead, were these his friends, or his enemies. "Are you a nnew user ere rer" a voice echoed in his mind, hammered into his malleable memory, was I a new user? What could this mean? What is a user? It was that girl, that girl who followed him, annoyed him, now she's dead, she hurt kevin, killed Neglasonion, killed herself. None of this made sense! What was going on!? Evit looked up and saw the bandaged man from before, he remembered him, he remembered him well, who was he? where did he come from? one thing, the one thing that really punished him, confused him, and bewildered him....was her species, what was she?
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maybe some art will make you speak, then again it may make you speechless:D
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Ooh, a mummy :)
But that chapter made me a bit confused... I think you've jumped ahead a bit. Or is it just I who have missed something? |
you missed something, thats no mummy, that's Evit!!!
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I know it's Evit, but it looks like a mummy. And I didn't mean the picture, I meant the chapter.
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Sorry that I was not here to try and find this for you sooner. I will merge your other thread with this one, so you can just continue from this thread.:)
Once again, sorry for my delayed help with finding your thread for you SS. Edit: I have merged the two threads together. It also appears I had some problems trying to reply to this thread to revive it. But after a few tries, and a little extra time, my efforts were not in vain.:fuzsmile: |
luv ya Al!
"bloody hell!" shouted jeth, "me caps all ke-bobbled" he whined fixing his hat. "oh come off it old bean, that hat's been ke-bobblin for a fort night now" said patriot. "read the posters have you not?" asked jeth "oh indoobatately, a humorous joke no doubt. do you agree?" said patriot "yes yes indeed i do, however the way the are written you'd think they're true, oh bit it's just fiddle faddle, flotsom and jetsom in my head" jeth chuckled. posters saying Neglasonion was killed, many beleived it was a joke, but just as many new it was true. Now everyone was afetr "the bandaged one", he was wanted. Evit walked through the woods, he had come up with a beautiful choir song he hummed to himself. he called it the Crolaithe, he had heard the name before, he thought it was lovely, so he thought of it often. Bellview 9, the sign said. Bellview 9? what was that? ..... to be continued....... |
Bellview Nine
After Evit had approached Bellview 9, he touched it's metallic framework. The cold, hard metal felt so unnatural and evil among all the wilderness through which he had been traveling. After stepping up inside he saw a large assortment of disconfigured trees and plants, ahead among the small wooden footpath was an opening, to what seemed like a boundered porch of this mysterious structure. Evit stepped into the sunlight watching his step on the rickity footpath, The sun was so bright in comparison to the small, dark fourier from which he had just emerged. Taking gentle steps on the path was crucial, below it was what seemed like a cesspool or bog, festering with skeeters and disgusting swamp slime no doubt. Evit tried holding his breath as long as he could, the hideous stench that rose from that grotesque swamp burned and ate away at his bandaged nostrils. He had to stop and gasp for breath, the path was too long and he could not hold his breath for extended periods of time, the very air he breathed seemed to coat his throat with slime. Evit gagged, he had to run to the other side before he lost breath completely, but this bridge was not a sturdy one. The slightest harsh movement was most likely to send it and him toppling down into that terrible cesspool! Evit took his chance and ran in sort of a hopping motion, hoping to get more distance without touching the planks too much. Evit after about his twelfth hop landed on a weak plank that broke under his foot. Painful splinters peirced his toes and ankle as his hole leg quickly sank through the board. Evit clenched his fist and squinted his eyes at the pain. After panting heavily he slowly pulled his leg out and looked up to see that solid land was only a few more feet. He rose up carefully and ran to safety. The land, though solid, still seemed to have multiple wooden footpaths all around, Evit stood between to small Metal walls about 12 feet in height and 10 feet in length, on them was the enormous insignia of the Magog Cartel. Evit had never seen it before, but somehow he knew what it was and what it meant. He stood there baffled, staring at the large red and black symbol with awe. This insignia was rusted and covered in graffitti but Evit had the strange feeling that there was someone still there. The large metal plates that surrounded the wood paths looked broken, bent, and old compared to the wooden planks. Brown grasses, weeds, and moss grew out and on the plates. Evit walked around the large area marveling at it, it seemed so empty yet so full, so old and yet so new. It was a mixed feeling indeed. Then he heard a sound, like a single footstep in grass, that Chhhhh sound, Evit turned quickly in the direction he heard it to see nothing. Then a door rushed open and hundreds of people crowded in! What was happening!? People of almost every species were there; Khanzumers, Sligs, Vips, Traders, Mudokons, Chroniclers, Gailters, Luggs, Oddili.....just about every civilised species, but the way the crowded in sure didn't seem too civilised. They hastily set up kisosks, stands, and tents where they would sell their various items. This old place had become an ideal marketplace for travelers and city-folk alike. Evit walked through the crowd being pushed and shoved, many shop managers aswell as shoppers had completely filled the place in a matter of minutes. Should Evit get out or find something useful, but what would be useful on his journey? to be continued.... |