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Ahhhh, Young Love 2

Posted 01-18-2010 at 10:06 AM by OANST
When I got off of work on Friday, April told Abbey to tell me about her boyfriend. I look at Abbey, and she just looks away and says "My boyfriend is Brendan". Brendan hasn't been to school in about a month, so I say "Oh, is he back?". She says no. I'm a little confused, so I turned to April who whispers, "I'll tell you later".

Later comes around and April tells me that Abbey was kissing a boy at school. Apparently, some of the other girls had dared her to do it. Also, the kid was in a higher grade. Now, I'd like to say that I thought this was as cute as when she first started telling me that she was in love, but it kind of bothered me a little bit. No reason in particular. Nothing that I can put my finger on, other than the fact that my little girl is growing up before my eyes.

April also tells me that when Abbey was telling her about it, she said that she would tell me, and Abbey just started balling, begging April not to tell me. I didn't want to upset her or anything, but I also wanted to hear about it from Abbey, so I go sit down with her and ask "What happened with your boyfriend, today?".

She looks at me for a minute and says, "Nothing". I just keep looking at her, and she says, "I don't remember his name WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING". I chuckle at this, and keep asking. She then tells me that they played hide and seek, tag, and other games, and that they held hands. "Oh, yeah?", I ask. "Did you do anything else?". "Wellll, we hugged", she replies. "Anything else?", I ask. "He kissed me", she finally says. Then she starts offering more information, "First, he kissed me on the cheek, then on the mouth".

I just wanted to go hide in the bathroom.
Total Comments 41

Comments

Wings of Fire's Avatar
BREAK HIS KNEECAPS
Posted 01-18-2010 at 10:16 AM by Wings of Fire

OddjobAbe's Avatar
This was all made worth it for the image of yourself huddled in a bathroom. There's something terribly comical about a distraught grown man unless it is myself. Then it becomes a horror.

I felt a similar feeling when I was about twenty, only it involved pornography and a very young cousin.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 10:46 AM by OddjobAbe
Updated 01-18-2010 at 11:00 AM by OddjobAbe

MA's Avatar
make sure to lock yourself in. i would. bloody hell.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 10:58 AM by MA

Havoc's Avatar
Wut, wait how old is she these days? For some reason I keep thinking your daughter is like 3 or 4, lol.

Then again, she probably was when you first mentioned her here. Hm, time sure flies.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 11:16 AM by Havoc

OANST's Avatar
Actually, she wasn't even born yet when I first started coming here.

Anyway, she is six.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 11:20 AM by OANST

used:)'s Avatar
That sure sounds awkward.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 12:48 PM by used:)

Wings of Fire's Avatar
BREAK HIS FUCKING KNEECAPS
Posted 01-18-2010 at 12:59 PM by Wings of Fire

Daxter King's Avatar
If I would've known it would upset you, I would not have done it.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 01:07 PM by Daxter King

MA's Avatar
:
BREAK HIS FUCKING KNEECAPS
YOU'RE IN GLASGOWE NOT OIRELAND IRA DO THE CAPPIN 'ROUND HERE
Posted 01-18-2010 at 01:13 PM by MA

Strike Witch's Avatar
On the mouth? I'm not sure if I like the sound of that at six.

mostly for hygenic reasons.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 01:33 PM by Strike Witch

Sekto Springs's Avatar
I remember back when kids were kids until they were like 13.
Now they're dressing like whores and using cellphones by 10.

Fucking post-9/11 America and it's crappy crapness.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:09 PM by Sekto Springs

Wings of Fire's Avatar
:
I remember back when kids were kids until they were like 13.
Now they're dressing like whores and using cellphones by 10.

Fucking post-9/11 America and it's crappy crapness.
There's this thing called tact.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:12 PM by Wings of Fire

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
:
Wut, wait how old is she these days? For some reason I keep thinking your daughter is like 3 or 4, lol.
Brendan had first dibs, pedo.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:15 PM by Mac Sirloin

Sekto Springs's Avatar
:
There's this thing called tact.
I was clearly joking you humorless little tit.
My superior American humor is no match for a Glaswegian. Go slice up someone's face.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:22 PM by Sekto Springs
Updated 01-18-2010 at 02:24 PM by Sekto Springs

Wings of Fire's Avatar
I dispute the usage of the word 'clearly' in this context.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:25 PM by Wings of Fire

OANST's Avatar
Kids have played doctor forever, and I doubt that will change anytime soon. However, I did request that she refrain from doing anything more than hugging until she is at least 30. She agreed. All is well.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:28 PM by OANST

Sekto Springs's Avatar
:
I dispute the usage of the word 'clearly' in this context.
I MADE MY POINT.
CULTURAL BARRIER.
GO HEADBUTT WITH YOUR FELLOW DRUNKS.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:33 PM by Sekto Springs

OddjobAbe's Avatar
Superior American humour?

Bullshit.

I think that the British win here.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:41 PM by OddjobAbe

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Americans wouldn't know funny if it bit them in the balls.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 02:46 PM by Sekto Springs

MA's Avatar
now you're getting it!
Posted 01-18-2010 at 03:20 PM by MA

Sekto Springs's Avatar
I don't think I've ever enjoyed any post-90's American humor tbh.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 04:05 PM by Sekto Springs

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
What about Tim and Eric? What about Seinfeld? What about Dave Chapelle? Fuck you shitiots. Go take another irreverence bath.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 04:35 PM by Mac Sirloin

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Seinfeld is not post-90's
I don't care for Dave Chapelle that much.
Tim and Eric is one of the few exceptions.

They need to do more bits with Grum. Seriously.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 04:40 PM by Sekto Springs
Updated 01-18-2010 at 04:48 PM by Sekto Springs

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
What about Curb Your Enthusiasm, then?

You're allowed to have your own fucking opinions, but stop swapping them out. You look like a goddamn tool.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 04:51 PM by Mac Sirloin

Sekto Springs's Avatar
I'm not swapping them out. I stand by that contemporary American comedy shows suck balls. To this day I question how Dane Cook got so fucking famous.

As for Curb Your Enthusiasm, I don't think I've ever gotten through a whole episode. So I couldn't tell you.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 05:00 PM by Sekto Springs

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
"Behold my superior American sense of humor."
*shitty clip of friends*
"OH GOD AMERICAN HUMOR SUCKS SO MUCH OH GOD I 'M GONNA VOMIT OH GOD OH BLEEEEEEUGH OH THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE FUCK WHY IS THERE PUS IN MY NOSE AH AHGHGHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Like I said, swapping them out.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 05:04 PM by Mac Sirloin

Sekto Springs's Avatar
:
"Behold my superior American sense of humor."
No, that was me lampooning nationalism. Clearly I failed.
I hate the internet so much. Actually I love it. WHO KNOWS RIGHT? SWAP SWAP SWAP!
Posted 01-18-2010 at 05:10 PM by Sekto Springs

Anonyman!'s Avatar
I agree with WoF.

About the kneecap bit.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 06:01 PM by Anonyman!

used:)'s Avatar
Tim and Eric sucks.

Some American comedians and comedy shows I like: Dimitri Martin, Cathy Griffin, Lewis Black, George Carlin, Steven Colbert, South Park, The Daily Show, MadTV, King of the Hill, Futurama, Family Guy (the old days), ATHF, Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, Metalocalypse, Mission Hill.

Some of those were probably Canadian, but whatever.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 06:15 PM by used:)

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Gabe, you're such an [as] whore. That's alright though, it was the only purveyor of laughs for me between the years of 2003-2007. The laughs were few and far between though. Mission Hill was definitely up there though.

Also Demitri Martin? Is he even a comedian? For the longest time I thought he was an oversized ventriloquist dummy.
Posted 01-18-2010 at 06:26 PM by Sekto Springs
Updated 01-18-2010 at 06:37 PM by Sekto Springs

 

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