I've only left the house one time, except for grocery shopping, some uni stuff, one day when I worked and random walks. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. It feels kind of like I've been dropped by my friends.

The last 6 months I've done literally nothing. It's been a confusing mess of not knowing what I'm capable of and having nothing to do. I wanted to join like a club or something maybe? But with my health I couldn't really commit to anything regular. I was going to go to...

I won free tickets to a French play (in English) for joining the French Club at uni. I don't actually speak French, but my friend talked me into joining anyway. Apparently they don't talk a lot of French - it's more of a bread eating club. If some kind of club warfare breaks out on-campus, I can sleep well knowing that I'm on the side that won't actually do any fighting.

Anyway I won two tickets and I have no idea who to take. I made a post on Facebook about it but I doubt anyone...

I had my wisdom teeth out almost 2 weeks ago. I got bold today, and tried some more solid food. Bold and stupid. My mouth started bleeding at 7:20pm. It's still bleeding, just a little, as of 3:10am. It's hardly been much blood, but I've been keeping gauze on it, to stop it getting any worse.

I was supposed to go out at 7:30, but that didn't end up happening. I really thought it was going to stop in time. If I had more control over getting home I would have just gone for as long as...

My NYE plans cancelled on me. I'm just farting around the house bored and tired. I don't even think I can be fucked staying up to midnight.

I've gone the entire month of December without seeing any of my friends. I've barely even left the house.

Hoping for good things next year.

It's not even that late. Just past midnight. But I can't sleep. I don't even want to sleep. Somehow the thought of lying down to sleep makes me feel physically ill.

I seriously don't understand this. It's only been a few days since uni finished, and I'm already back to moping around the house grasping at the few lingering straws I have of friendship. I'm slowly getting more and more desperate for people to talk to, so I think I'm starting to get overbearing for the people who actually...

So I'm still in a really bad way. A really really bad way.

I can't do things. I spend all day tired and exhausted. I've been trying to go for walks and stuff during the day, but they just make me more tired. I've been pushing on with them, but mum actually said that she doesn't think they're doing me any good today. I want to keep walking. I need time where I can get out of the house. I need to fucking do something.

I've had minimal social interaction for the last 3...

I'm still not very healthy.

Uni finished almost 2 weeks ago for me, and I've been resting up a lot since then. I daresay I'd been feeling a lot better. I was generally up all day, and getting to a point where I was going for walks, cleaning my room and just generally actually being productive. I was still getting tired at times, but it was infinitely better. I actually had the energy to be doing flute practice again, and in a few days was producing a focused sound that I've never...

I'm withdrawing from performance extension, and being forced to withdraw from my mandatory ensemble. I'm getting my regular performance exam pushed back, but it looks like I'm going to have to drop out of that for this semester too. You need to complete semester 1 to do semester 2, so basically the key component of my course and the thing that I really love would be gone for the rest of the year.

Also my group in a dumb Arts subject we have to do presented without me yesterday, even...

I don't even have words for how I feel any more.

I've been feeling a bit better with my fatigue. I've been back to the doctor, and my chest x-ray was fine. My ultrasound is on Friday, so I should have the results by this time next week.

So I went back to uni today. I got a bit out of breath rushing around for a train I ended up missing, but other than that I really thought I might be up to going. I got there, and sang in choir for just over an hour. All of the standing...

So uni is pretty awesome really. I can sit in a room and play flute all day. I can justify going out to 4 hours of concerts last night. I'm finally doing what I've always wanted.

It's interesting. It's stressful. I have a really great teacher, and she started out giving me lots to do to push me, and see what I'm capable of. We were aiming for one study per week, but that's never happened. I had a bit of a technical issue, which basically meant that in the last few weeks I've had to...