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Somebody I knew died the other day...


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Somebody I knew died the other day...

Posted 01-20-2009 at 08:02 AM by Wings of Fire
I never liked him, he always sort of casually bullied myself and people I hung out with at school, he was a coward, arrogant to the point of grating, immature, vain, ignorant and mean.

And I can't understand why people, some of which who never liked him, love him now he's dead.

Is this some moral deficit of mine? Am I too heartless to see why on earth people who only knew him in passing would join a bloody facebook group celebrating his life and sing his praise? Am I evil? Am I too immature to come to terms with my own mortality that I blunt out other peoples?

I wasn't happy to hear of his death, God no, he left behind a girlfriend and a family, he was only eighteen and a car crash is an awful way to go, I actually had a go at one of my old friends for being happy that he died. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad either, and that scares me.

Police are doing an inquest as to why the car crash happened, if it turns out he was under the influence then I shall laugh, I will absolutely despise myself for it but I will laugh nevertheless.

God I hate crises of conscience, especially since I've always considered myself to be, morally speaking, very highly developed.
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Venks's Avatar
I've noticed a similar change in myself as well... quite deplorable. I'm trying to find a way to get more in touch with the more basic, innocent things to life. Hopefully my baby brother can help me with that.
Posted 01-20-2009 at 09:32 AM by Venks

Wil's Avatar
I don’t think you should feel as though you’re not being moral. You can’t be harsh on yourself for not feeling sad about the death of someone you couldn’t find any redeeming qualities in anymore than you should be ashamed for not mourning the death of people you didn’t know. Stop being so hard on yourself, you’re a sweet man with a good heart.
Posted 01-20-2009 at 09:54 AM by Wil

Nate's Avatar
Yup, I agree completely with Max. 99% of people do things because of the way they think others expect them to act rather than follow their own instinct. Death, in particular, seems to prompt an avalanche of mourning from those even remotely connected.

As another example: Two weeks ago a guy I never met but who was known by some of my friends was killed in Afghanistan. Suddenly I was invited to a hundred memorial facebook groups by people who, like me, had never met him or who had known him but weren't friends with him. It's like everyone wanted to get credit for mourning him more.
Posted 01-20-2009 at 03:11 PM by Nate

Alcar's Avatar
Fuck people's perceptions of you. I believe in an eye for an eye (and then some).

Alcar...
Posted 01-20-2009 at 04:17 PM by Alcar

Wings of Fire's Avatar
Whatever else I felt about him I'd have certainly never wished death upon him, and it's not peoples perception that scares me, it's my own.

>.<
Posted 01-20-2009 at 05:22 PM by Wings of Fire

Nate's Avatar
You're a people too.

Just one who is saying what everyone else is too scared to voice.
Posted 01-20-2009 at 08:24 PM by Nate

Wings of Fire's Avatar
Yeah you guys are right, maybe I am just being too hypercritical about myself.

Thanks for the help guys
Posted 01-21-2009 at 07:38 AM by Wings of Fire

OANST's Avatar
I don't really get the problem or even why you are giving it this much thought. People die every day. This guy died. You didn't like him. Who the fuck cares? I mean that in a nice way. It isn't your problem and you are probably doing him and yourself a disservice by even pretending to agonize over your own feelings. This event doesn't apply to you.
Posted 01-21-2009 at 08:12 AM by OANST

Wings of Fire's Avatar
It was just a shock to find out that I'm not as emotionally acute as I am idealistic, and then a shock to find out I actually cared more about my moral wellbeing than I do about the fact he died.

But yeah you're right OANST thank you, I'm over it now.
Posted 01-21-2009 at 08:29 AM by Wings of Fire

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Some guy in Belleville died last Friday, froze to death after being beaten up in the woods near his school.

He tried dealing drugs to a friend of mine's step sister once, and from the sounds of it was a huge douchebag.

Nonetheless, it was a shame.
Posted 01-21-2009 at 12:30 PM by Mac Sirloin

 

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