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Apocalypse Meow (yes this is an entirely new blog)
I don't have the heart to kick STW's blog off for my trivial bullshit so here you go. Plus the prior blog kind of defeated the purpose of my initial point in writing said blog.
So I'm working dicks for hours. Figurative, literal in my face dicks. Video Stores are incredibly slow during the later spring/summer months, combined with our surplus of cheap labour I'm getting maybe ten hours a week if I'm lucky.
I am incredibly lucky mind you. To have a job that is. Luckier still that it's a job I enjoy and get a lot out of. Still, part time work fucking blows so I'm really hoping the artisan hamburger restaurant down the street hires me. That would be an equally good fit and I need to start saving money now.
So in the previous iteration of this blog I came out as bisexual. I am alarmed at how surprising this came to some of you because I think I've been dropping hints for a long time. It makes sense that my overall personality overshadowed any indication otherwise, but straight I am not.
I've known for awhile, though I never entirely confronted it/had the opportunity to explore it. So vaginas are pretty cool, dicks are pretty cool. Gonna keep it at that. Breasts are pretty great though, I can't argue with breasts. Tonight at work I had a customer with tremendous breasts come in to ask about whatever stupid bimbo shit she was going to watch, my self control is legendary.
It helps to remind myself that Belleville is a town of devout, worthless dogfuckers who have mostly nothing to offer me. At a given point I`d have fantasized about burning it all down but now I like the slow, diseased death its suffering. Eventually it will be swallowed up by the county and be a different beast altogether.
About a year ago a series of delirium-inducingly terrible decisions led me into the arms and disgusting, greek, feta cheese-groin of a horrible girl who spent all my damn money and smelled like bad french fries. I was pretty nuts about her, and I behaved like someone who was not entirely dissimilar to myself and then some.
My personality altered rapidly to compensate for the mental gymnastics I was putting myself through. I picture this as my brain attempting to go mudding without a lift kit and some good hydraulics, when in fact I shouldn`t be mudding in the first place. I should be at home doing pushups and eating chicken.
As horrible a spin I'm putting on this, it wasn't so bad and became a very essential learning experience. Going through a nasty relationship like that is a rite of passage to figuring out what you actually want out of people. Now let`s stop fucking talking about it.
Realizing you're not invincible is important to growing out of adolescence. It's easy to think you are, the world likes to make you think you are. In fact, you're just as vulnerable and stupid as anyone else. Confronting your mortality, such as it is, can make you a much better person.
Not to say that learning to confront these things internally and grow thus isn't so bad either, but every cloud should have a silver lining, even if it's a delayed-reaction silver lining that kicks in after you realize you are one lucky spit-happy guy.
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