I've Been Gone

You left?

I remember you. You're Scrabtrapman!

Who are you?

I didn't technically leave, I've just been posting wayyyy less than normal for the last week or so and pretty sporadically for the last 3 months before that.

guy makes 7,995 posts and thinks we're gonna remember him, come on step up ur game m8

Beef is yummy and tapeworms are awesome.

Beef makes body unbeautiful. However, if you want to be manly, I am not the one to prevent you from devouring it.

Chicken is the least body-corrupting meat. I may tell you this, as I have an inhuman toxin sensitivity and all meat except for chicken (turkey may also) tastes/smells to me intoxicating.

Tape worms? Ewww... that is unfabulous.
Not for my androgyny.

Back to Munch's Oddysee?

Hey! I remember you.



Traitor.

I consider that I did a favour for tapeworm kind by providing a host for their plight. The beef was teeming with eggs.

How could you speak about yourself like this? Eww. *Honors the vomit.

Eggs only get onto beef if prepared by an infected chef who doesn't wash his hands. The eggs are liable to hatch into larvae that will ride your blood stream and burrow into your various tissues, where they will live out their days as a cyst in your muscles, or maybe your brain, casing seizures and altering your personality.

When eggs are consumed by cows, they also become cysts. When we eat an infected cow and consume their cysts, the cysts invert in your gut, latch onto the inside of your intestine and grow into full-sized tapeworms, meters long. Their egg-filled end segments are shed, and are passed in your faeces. And if you do not pass them, they will make their own arrangements regarding escaping through your rear.

And when you finally poison the thing with medication, you must pass the whole worm. It is like trying to shit out a very long, very fragile piece of spaghetti.

Well I assumed it's more likely that if anything I'd probably get a nice case of food poisoning. I am pretty pissed to be honest as I was told by the person who fed me the beef that as it wasn't ground it was safe to eat raw and that he had been eating it raw all his life, in fact he ate a good few chunks of it whilst I had a couple of slivers. It wasn't until I'd eaten it that I was told by my girlfriend that eating raw beef is still bad for you. I'm -hoping- that I'll be all right but honestly it does worry me a little that I'm gonna get some food poisoning. ):

What's just as bad is that food poisoning tends to take 48 hours - 96 hours to show symptoms (as far as I'm aware) and I'm the sort of person who broods on things and gets ever more anxious. Two to four days of waiting to see if I get bloody diarrhoea is not my idea of good time spent.

Just play Inverse Vampires until it all blows over.

chill, man. everything will be okay. repeat "goosfraba" slowly. gooooooosfraaaaabaaa.

better?

Much better. You always know what to say, MA.

I asked my doctor about that and she said it's a myth. The whole point of food poisoning is to make you sick as soon as possible so that you get rid of the toxic food out of one end or the other.

Oh...well in that case I think *touch wood* I'm okay. Thank you Nate for putting my mind at ease.

Seriously.

Why did you eat raw beef?

He yearned for "manliness".

Raw beef is fucking delicious

It is disgusting and infestive.

Apparently it's edible and tastes good?

Feels like fucking worms whatever anyone says. Grody.

It's better warm and bloody. 38.5 degrees Celcius and fresh.

Honor the vomit twice.

DELICIOUS

MARVELLOUS

Yeah, I always worry about food poisoning when i eat steak. Usually because I have it very bloody.

Jesus christ you're not going to get fucking food poisoning for eating a bit of raw meat unless the meat is rancid or your digestive system hasn't adapted to digesting raw meat.

The majority of my diet is raw or close to raw, and I have never gotten food poisoning or salmonella or worms or any of that shit off it. Just make sure whatever you eat is clean.

The raw meat shall infest, the salmonella shall flatter.

Behold.
SALMONELLORNE CRUSH YOU