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I miss my brother

Posted 02-12-2013 at 05:27 PM by Nepsotic

He moved out a couple of months back and I really miss him, he was the person I was closest to.

I went to his sister's 18th the other day and when he went out for a fag I told him.about how I've been referred to an educational psychiatrist, as I might have BDP. I feel so much better now because I was talking to him about it and about My social anxiety and that, and how I hate talking to people, because he says he has the same issues. He told me that he feelslike that, how he just can't be arsed talking to anybody, but he does it anyway because it's normal. And that's what he told me to do. He told me to talk to people and socialise because if I don't, people Will start noticing. Then when some random woman came out he said "do I know you from somewhere?" And she laughed and said no and they talked for a couple of seconds before me and Jay went inside. "See? like that. I couldn't be arsed talking to her but I did it anyway, because it's normal" he said.

It amazed me how he did that and didn't get nervous or anxious or anything, but I have never seen My brother like that. I'm glad I told him about this, I barely talked to My mum about it so I was relieved to know how easy it is for him even.though he has the same issues.

It's going to be really hard talking to this psychiatrist. Somebody told me it means I have bad mental health and that ponies Will be the first thing they Will try to remove.
My stress levels have been unbelieveable recently and I nearly cried before because I couldn't open some bread. I just ripped the whole thing open.in the end. When I get stressed I have no way to vent it so usually I just scream inside My head or bite My wrist really hard, both of which cannot be good for me.

I've also started pondering the idea that I could have aspergers or be mentally retarded and I wouldn't even know it.

Maybe I should end this blog with a really deep poem or something.

Fuck that shit.

Comments 31

Total Comments 31

Comments

	chill out, man. if something pisses you off express your pissed-off-ness. holding emotions inside isn't good for anyone, and is the road to really losing your marbles. as a child i ignored my emotions as part of a coping strategy, and it fucked me up big style later on in life. don't be a fool, you're Human so act like it. also, what is BDP?
	Posted 02-12-2013 at 05:44 PM by MA Updated 02-12-2013 at 05:47 PM by MA

	Seriously hoping it's Bio Degradeable Pants over here
	Posted 02-12-2013 at 05:49 PM by Mac Sirloin

	Boderline personality disorder. Also what do you mean about the human thing? Is it because I don't like talking to people? It isn't a thin.I can just skip over. Like yesterdy I spent half an hour in the kitchen because My sister was talking to one.of her friends who I don't know in the hall. It's just something I don't like to deal with. I don't see how it's a big problem, anyway.
	Posted 02-12-2013 at 05:52 PM by Nepsotic

	Well we are social creatures by nature and becoming preoccupied with not socializing is bad for us.
	Posted 02-12-2013 at 05:54 PM by Mac Sirloin

	I don't see how it Will ever affect me, though. It's like a phobia, I'm fine when.I'm not around people. Well, not fine but you get the point. The main thing I'm worried about now is the psychiatrist. I keep getting really worried that they'll find something really wrong with me or something and throw me in an asylum.or something.
	Posted 02-12-2013 at 05:59 PM by Nepsotic

Also what do you mean about the human thing? Is it because I don't like talking to people? It isn't a thin.I can just skip over. Like yesterdy I spent half an hour in the kitchen because My sister was talking to one.of her friends who I don't know in the hall. It's just something I don't like to deal with. I don't see how it's a big problem, anyway.

no i didn't mean that, i meant 'act human' as in 'don't keep your emotions bottled up'. that's bad for you, being a human being and all.

EDIT: how old are you? it's very unlikely that they'll section you. unless you have a collection of ornamental spines in your bedroom.

but seriously, don't worry. those people are there to help you, not make things worse.

Posted 02-12-2013 at 06:00 PM by MA

Updated 02-12-2013 at 06:02 PM by MA

You have to interact with other people in order to survive, unfortunately. I absolutely despise being social in person and only interact with others when there's no way around interacting with them or if will further my goals.

Of course, there is the rare exception I find people I'm comfortable just hanging around. Unfortunately everyone I've met I'm comfortable just hanging around I met online and they all live preposterously far away from me.

Posted 02-12-2013 at 06:02 PM by Slog Bait

	: EDIT: how old are you? it's very unlikely that they'll section you. unless you have a collection of ornamental spines in your bedroom. I'm 14, and unfortunately I don't have any spines. Except the one, of course. Edit: Wait, it's unlikely? So it's still possible?
	Posted 02-12-2013 at 06:13 PM by Nepsotic

no, not possible at all. not at 14. i only said 'unlikely' just in case you were older than i thought you were. not that they would if you were older. mental institutions are reserved for the mentally ill that have been deemed either a danger to themselves or a danger to others. or both.

relax, you've got a lot of living to do yet. being locked in a nut house should be furthest from your worries.

Posted 02-12-2013 at 06:21 PM by MA

	What should I be worrying about, then?
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 10:03 AM by Nepsotic

	Roof insulation.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 11:09 AM by MeechMunchie

	Life insurance.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 01:38 PM by Phylum

	Roof insurance.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 02:53 PM by MeechMunchie

	I get it.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 04:09 PM by Nepsotic

	Life insulation.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 04:51 PM by MA

	Good one.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 04:59 PM by MeechMunchie

	thanks.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 05:09 PM by MA

	High five.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 05:15 PM by MeechMunchie

	Brohoof? That's enough.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 05:24 PM by Nepsotic

	Nepsotic is trying to prove that he should be the next mod.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 08:41 PM by Nate

	Hey, I'd totally make an awesome mod.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 08:58 PM by Nepsotic

	Maybe we should open this up to an election and see how many votes you get.
	Posted 02-13-2013 at 10:49 PM by Nate

	I vote for Nep to be a part of our Glorious Leaders.
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 07:51 AM by Ridg3

	Yes, Rock Hard Election II!
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 07:53 AM by STM

	I can prove myself to you guys. In any way you want...
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 09:24 AM by Nepsotic

	: Maybe we should open this up to an election and see how many votes you get. : I vote for Nep to be a part of our Glorious Leaders. : Yes, Rock Hard Election II! then let's fucking do it, man! let's go, we know the drill! we gonna get some rock hard election action going on down in this tight-ass beeech
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 03:14 PM by MA

	Who will make the thread?
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 03:18 PM by Nepsotic

	not me, fuck that.
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 03:21 PM by MA

	I would, should I?
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 04:02 PM by Nepsotic

	Can I? I want to. I'm going to.
	Posted 02-14-2013 at 05:20 PM by Nepsotic

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