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NOOO MY PUMPKINS

Posted 06-08-2012 at 03:07 AM by Slog Bait
I've been trying to grow pumpkins continuously for the past year and every time I'm unable to attend to them for about a week or so at any given moment like recently, where I went back home for exactly four days, I ask my dad or brother to take care of them and something always fucking happens.

The first time the pumpkins flowered and then just kind of wilted. The second time my brother knocked them into the sink and all of them died the next day. The third time my dog somehow managed to knock the pot off it's shelf and then proceeded to eat everything and throw it back up all over the stairs. This time? Everyone forgot they even existed. I just got home and checked them and they were dry, shriveled up, dead dead dead FUCKING DEAD.

They killed my marigolds and petunias the same fucking way APPARENTLY I'M NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE PLANTS JSEUAHGEV
Total Comments 11

Comments

Slog Bait's Avatar
I still watered them though because if there's any chance at least one will survive it's enough for me.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 03:07 AM by Slog Bait

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Maybe this is their way of telling you that you need a more manly hobby.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 03:11 AM by Sekto Springs

Slog Bait's Avatar
Hey hey hey. Hey. Gardening is manly as fuck.

Even though it's not really gardening.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 03:14 AM by Slog Bait

Ridg3's Avatar
Grass is more easy to grow and you can easily make a profit off a plant. Grow grass.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 03:42 AM by Ridg3

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Yeah, the only profit to be made from pumpkins is seasonal. What kind of pumpkins are/were they?
Posted 06-08-2012 at 03:47 AM by Sekto Springs

Wil's Avatar
Pumpkins are yummy. You go and grow the fuck out of them.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 04:25 AM by Wil

Mr. Bungle's Avatar
Make me some pumpkin pies.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 04:38 AM by Mr. Bungle

Sekto Springs's Avatar
That's why I asked what kind of pumpkins they were, because only one type is good for pies.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 05:05 AM by Sekto Springs

STM's Avatar
Aww, poor Slog Bait and his death touch.

Genetically modify them to eat anyone who fucks with their shit.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 05:43 AM by STM

MeechMunchie's Avatar
The first time I ate a pumpkin pie I thought it was egg custard tart until I was told otherwise. True story.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 09:48 AM by MeechMunchie

Slog Bait's Avatar
Well, the first kind were carving pumpkins, so they were a lot more brittle than the ones I bought down the line. I'm not sure what breed the latter are, I just know they were a lot more... heavy duty than the carving pumpkins, and they could better survive the harsh climate of the desert. (I assume had they actually gotten to the point of developing the pumpkins themselves, it'd be excellent for pumpkin pies.)

This is honestly distressing. I can't leave them alone for longer than a couple of days without someone else touching them (or not touching them at all) and killing them. The marigolds and petunias I had mentioned I actually kept from an experiment we did in AP Biology last year, where we essentially tortured the plants. They should have died not even a month afterwards, but I kept them alive and happy up until I had to leave them home a few months ago while I went to Uni and came back to them all dead and just everyone telling me they forgot.

What gets me the most is we have multiple other plants in the house that are doing just fine, but I have a few that also need tending to and they kill them. Being able to keep a plant alive gives me some sense of achievement. Something like, "Hey, look! You're not a complete fuck up after all." And when I come back after a short break it's great to see that all my efforts were wasted because no one else gives a shit.

It's just annoying that if I ever want to grow anything I'll have to carry it around with me literally everywhere. That shouldn't be the case.
Posted 06-08-2012 at 11:18 AM by Slog Bait

 

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