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Jizz: The New Carpet Cleaner

Posted 01-31-2012 at 09:14 AM by JennyGenesis

Can't believe I'm here typing about this but, last night, I accidentally discovered that jizz is a great carpet stain remover...

I had an assignment from university where I had to create cyanotypes, cut a long story short, it is basically an old victorian photography process.

Part of the process involves coating watercolour paper in a special paint, but one night, I accidentally knocked the jar over and spilled it on my carpet. I've had this blue stain on my carpet for weeks now and I've tried a million different things on there but the stain wouldn't budge, but it started to slowly fade by itself, and I just became used to the fact that my cream carpet has a big blue patch on it.

Last night, had a bit of fun in my room, got a bit of mess on the floor, some got onto the blue stain left behind by the cyanotype paint. I just got a tissue and rubbed the jizz away, and suddenly, there was a clear patch left behind where the jizz was. Checked today, and the clear patch is still there, so, maybe with some effort, I've finally found a way to get rid of this big blue stain on my carpet...

So from what we know, jizz gets girls pregnant, is apparently good for your skin, have I discovered a third use?

Comments 34

Total Comments 34

Comments

	...what actually possesses you to admit these things?
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 09:33 AM by Jordan

	The fact that I think it is something extremely odd...
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 09:37 AM by JennyGenesis

	How do you get that stuff on the floor unless you're a garden sprinkler or something?
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 09:45 AM by OddjobAbe

	Wow, even I wouldn't have admitted to this. Maybe.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 10:07 AM by Wings of Fire

	Wow.... ..erm. What?
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 10:13 AM by Crashpunk

	Alrighty then.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 10:33 AM by Dynamithix

	Fucking hell. Just...fucking hell. Seriously, fucking hell!
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 11:05 AM by STM

	As for Oddjob's question......man, I've gotten that shit everywhere. Fucking everywhere.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 11:10 AM by OANST

	I've only ever misplaced my own semen when overshooting my head.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 11:33 AM by Wil

	Wanking: The new hot topic, live from JG's bedroom. Barges through door
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 12:46 PM by MeechMunchie

	Funny, now if it were miracle grow middle aged men would come from all around to sample Jenny's super semen.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 01:09 PM by StrangerEastwood

	the world just keeps giving me more reasons to masturbate
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 02:30 PM by Anonyman!

People you know could read this. People with access to your room. People who will identify certain locations and be conscious of where they tread.

Have you perhaps opened your mind to other possibilities? You could test this. Try other bodily fluids. Saliva, for instance. And other substances. Slug mucus? Flower nectar? Various mixtures? There may be a common substance to all the successful substances. What else do they work on? What might you expect not to clean or not to be cleaned by each? Be scientific. Experiment.

And try not to be too filthy. Or you may have trouble getting your work published. Or your room clean again. Semen may not successfully clean up your failed experiments.

Posted 01-31-2012 at 03:43 PM by Bullet Magnet

	Third use: swallowing it is healthy as it contains a lot of vitamins. So if you just happen to be fresh out of vitamin supplements...
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 04:10 PM by Havoc

	The second law of thermodynamics has nutritional corollaries. That's why we don't eat our own shit.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 04:28 PM by Bullet Magnet

	In response to Bullet Magnet, my mum threw a fit at me when I told her I spilt the cyanotype paint everywhere. I don't think bringing in a load of fluids and rubbing it into the blue stain will impress her. She doesn't even know about my new discovery yet, and I ain't telling her either.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 05:51 PM by JennyGenesis

	: The second law of thermodynamics has nutritional corollaries. That's why we don't eat our own shit. Took me a minute to understand what you actually meant. Good point. Guess he'll have to get his vitamins the old fashion way of sucking on more cock
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 06:04 PM by Havoc

	Havoc speaks from experience.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 06:09 PM by MA

	I bet Abe is now! has experience in that, he shoots himself in the face.
	Posted 01-31-2012 at 11:52 PM by Jordan

	So does this mean you're going to ejaculate onto the carpet each day to progressively expunge the entire stain?
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 02:49 AM by moxco Updated 02-01-2012 at 02:52 AM by moxco

	: jizz... is apparently good for your skin Wha? I've never heard that one before. What is it meant to do?
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 03:21 AM by Nate

	Not sure, I've heard it from lots of people and read it in a magazine once, it's not just pure semen though, it's like some sort of chemicals mixed with semen to make a cream.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 03:43 AM by JennyGenesis

	D:
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 06:52 AM by Glitch

	No, you didn't. You saw it on Nip/Tuck.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 07:54 AM by OANST

	I've never watched Nip/Tuck.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 08:24 AM by JennyGenesis

	Lies.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 08:34 AM by OANST

	OANST watches Nip/Tuck.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 09:03 AM by Ridg3

	Wait. No. I never did. No. Fuck.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 09:18 AM by OANST

	Caught.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 11:59 AM by Mr. Bungle

	Named and shamed.
	Posted 02-01-2012 at 01:10 PM by MeechMunchie

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