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I should have pooped

Posted 10-10-2010 at 08:14 PM by Mac Sirloin
I'm constipated, I think. I have not shit in over 36 hours, and I'm starting to become slightly alarmed. My thanksgiving dinner (Thanksgiving weekend in Canadaland) was not particularly meat-centric, and my second one (extended family) was exclusively vegetables. Mostly greens. Hopefully I am relieved soon.



Also, sorry if this grosses anyone out.
Total Comments 35

Comments

Pilot's Avatar
In my experience, you'll be getting a sick stomach if you're honestly constipated, and the overly acidic waste is going to come out one end if not the other.

It's only happened to me once, but I had to manually knead my bowels by hand to free everything up.
Posted 10-10-2010 at 09:04 PM by Pilot

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
I found out that pressing the small of your back can coax the process quite awhile ago. I have never looked back (because I didn't need to)

Any way, OF COURSE, immediately after posting this blog I shat. It was not comfortable.
Posted 10-10-2010 at 09:24 PM by Mac Sirloin

I was once so constipated that I whistled out of my asshole.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 12:51 AM by Nemo

enchilado's Avatar
That's nice.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 01:14 AM by enchilado

Phylum's Avatar
I regularly go >36 hours without crapping and I never consider that constipated. A week is constipated. Between 2 days and a week is caused by diet, usually.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 02:46 AM by Phylum

Nate's Avatar
Go out and buy a box of Bran Flakes. Eat two bowls for every meal until you poop.

That's what always works for me.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 03:04 AM by Nate

T-nex's Avatar
Pickled stuff helps too!
Posted 10-11-2010 at 04:20 AM by T-nex

Ridg3's Avatar
Coffee and fags.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 05:26 AM by Ridg3

Dixanadu's Avatar
Fags being cigarettes, btw.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 06:02 AM by Dixanadu

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Either or. Though for the former you'll have more luck jostling it loose.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 06:37 AM by Mac Sirloin

Dixanadu's Avatar
Just don't take too long, it'll rip you in half. But it feels brilliant when you finally get it out.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 08:57 AM by Dixanadu

Wil's Avatar
I sometimes realize I've gone more than 36 hours without pooping. Nothing interesting happens after that, pain- or relief-wise. I muse just have an extra long tract or something.

Not the only extra-long body part of mine, either.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 10:19 AM by Wil

Ridg3's Avatar
I took a shit so big before it actually got wedged before the water surface... coat-hangers rule!
Posted 10-11-2010 at 01:24 PM by Ridg3

Hazel-Rah's Avatar
lol "fags"
Posted 10-11-2010 at 02:20 PM by Hazel-Rah

MA's Avatar
i don't think i've ever been constipated, thank christ.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 02:54 PM by MA

Daxter King's Avatar
Constipation is a terrible thing.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 03:11 PM by Daxter King

Ridg3's Avatar
I've never had it although, i think it's in the works to happen soon seeing as I don't take good care of my bowels.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 03:13 PM by Ridg3

Daxter King's Avatar
Change your ways, you dont want to end up like OANST.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 03:18 PM by Daxter King

Ridg3's Avatar
But... his bowels don't hurt anymore.
Posted 10-11-2010 at 03:30 PM by Ridg3

Wings of Fire's Avatar
I had a fortnight worth of constipation whilst on holiday.

It's not pleasent.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 02:35 AM by Wings of Fire

OANST's Avatar
I am also currently constipated. It's annoying.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 07:48 AM by OANST

OANST's Avatar
Scratch that. I just took the magnificent dump.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 08:36 AM by OANST

Wings of Fire's Avatar
The Magnificent Dump.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 08:41 AM by Wings of Fire

OANST's Avatar
Exactly.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 09:21 AM by OANST

MeechMunchie's Avatar
My bowels have a highly developed sense of irony. They always pick a point when I'm really short for time to demand attention.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 10:09 AM by MeechMunchie

Wil's Avatar
Is that ironic, or just shit?
Posted 10-12-2010 at 03:58 PM by Wil

Alcar's Avatar
I'm chronically constipated.

Life sucks. Then I crap, and it's better again.

Alcar...
Posted 10-12-2010 at 05:06 PM by Alcar

enchilado's Avatar
What an interesting blog this is.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 05:37 PM by enchilado

Nate's Avatar
Says the guy who's avatar is a slog with diarrhea.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 06:45 PM by Nate

enchilado's Avatar
"Whose", Nate, "whose".

You screwed up.
Posted 10-12-2010 at 07:51 PM by enchilado

 

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