COCKS AND SUCH

Keep your bike off the fucking sidewalk, lardo.

Take the bike off of first gear, Puff-N-Stuff.

Your vison of skinny people is hideously warped.

I think you're right to be offended by these off the cuff insults, but the real fact of the matter is that these people probably don't feel good about themselves to begin with, are insecure, and deal with it by grouping all "fat people" into a stereotype which is easy for them to heckle.

They're saying "LOOK AT HIM, NOT ME!"

Put a brownie on a stick in front of that bike, Tubby Lumpkins.

You cunt, the weight you burned off cycling cancelled all the flights in Europe.

Use some of your fat roll grease to lube up your bike chain, tons of fun.

This is gettin' mighty insensitive.

Use treads on your tyres to relieve the pressure.

Pull up those sweatpants when you're riding, Jigglypuff.

Make sure you don't hit any pot holes 'cause you might split the world in two.

It's illegal to ride double in this sta....sorry about that, sir.

Is Eastender's starting?
Naw...it's just some fat guy walking down those steps.

Put a bra on, lady!

When's the kid due?

Yo mama's so fat that she gave birth to you, you fat piece of shit.

If we go by the "you are what you eat" expression...I'd say you're a big fat guy!

You put your left cankle in. You take your left cankle out. You put your left cankle in, and you wobble all about.

I think a few people here might have been just a tad... offended? :3

It's all right, I understand. Keeping your heads planted in the john is a little embarassing, especially with those noises you're making. It certainly ain't vomiting, it's... something else. You can't get water from a well that's dry, I suppose.

But seriously, fellas, it's just a bit of ribbing. I know it's hard NOT to be sensitive, with your nerves, not to mention everything else, pressing right up against your skin, but show some backbone.

No, on second thought, show less. Eesh.

Hahah, you guys are all right.

There's a difference between being a bulimic and eating so much that you puke.

Dammit, Dipstikk posted before me

Can I have some milk, please? Oh? You're not? Are you sure? Well, okay.

Did that cow just say hello?

I'm sure someone around here could illustrate bulimia for us.

Where are you getting these from, anyway? Some of them are actually pretty good.

Made 'em all up on the spot. I'm that good.

Come on, fellas, a minute ago, I couldn't get you to shut up!

It's Dennis Leary, isn't it?

Oh, no you didn't. I've heard some of 'em before. Now, come on.

I never come on. I only come off.

God, I'm feeling stupid tonight.

OANST PM'd me all his jokes so I could post them as well, he's not greedy, unlike some people...

EDIT: Looks as though OANST is having a moment of clarity...ah well, he'll be blissfully deluded of his ignorance in a minute or so.

I've never even seen Eastenders. I have no way of knowing if that joke was funny or not.