Simon, The Cuntstodian

Every day I wash desks at lunch recess. I have a 40 minute window to wash somewhere in the area of 150 average sized desks, 8 giant rhombus desks and dump 9 Garbage pails. Usually it takes about 30 minutes, assuming most of the kids get all of their crap off their desks.
So today, I'm at the Grade 6 room. 2 classrooms left, and I come across this really fucking creepy collage of Robert Pattinson some girl made.

Now understand that at this point I'm really apathetic about Twilight and its subsidiary merchandise and media. I'm not going to argue that it isn't an ungodly abomination culturally, but I don't throw temper tantrums when I see the books. Or the graphic novel. Or the movies. Or the posters. Or the clothing. Or the toys.
I just let a little "Euh" sound out.

Anyway, this collage was basically a bunch of poorly snipped faceshots and one giant-ass photo of Pattinson shirtless. I get a brilliant idea: Ruin dat sheet.
I drop my cloth into the bucket, pick it out without squeezing the excess water out, and proceed to essentially flood this girls desk. It was seriously fucking soaked.

Then, I pick up the paper, flip it over, and drop it on, Pattinson down. I casually shove it through the water. Then, I pick it up, properly wash the desk, and put it face down where it was. I smile like a smug fuck and tromp away.

Later in the day, I'm walking by the room and I glance over to see who sits at the desk and suddenly feel like a massive douchebag. It was this girl who was crying in front of the office yesterday, just fucking sobbing. I just (presumably) ruined something this kid made because she had a crush on a celebrity.

Now, be aware that none of the kids have ever done anything to be deliberately mean or hurtful to me. I've had a few minor issues, but nothing particularly noteworthy, so this wasn't even me getting back at anyone. This was me being a thunderous petty retard.