Blogs
 


  Oddworld Forums > Blogs > MACBLOG 2666


Hey thanks for coming. Don't forget to pay the minimum 70$ monthly subscription fee to enjoy MACBLOG - BISMUTH benefits, like free ice cream and other lies.
Rate this Entry

I'll just post this NEW STORY here.

Posted 05-19-2009 at 12:56 PM by Mac Sirloin
We had this Artificial Organism working with us in developing the brain, he looked normal enough-a purple shirt, black pants, two Prehensile orb-jointed tentaclamps for interaction and a head that was human but off with some ocular and auditory circuits jutting here and there.

We called him Saunter.

He was really quiet, not purposefully--he was a low grade lab assistant model, but because his charging station was state of the art. Any grease or dust that he gathered was removed every time he took a standby period. It was like a big white clean pod and he looked so damn out of place in it. Clunky and with this distant look on his face.
The guy in charge of cleaning the cleaner was this fat college kid we'd recruited. He was dumb as a rock and we figured that he couldn't do any harm scrubbing away his hours. The problem was that his clearance had been 5-A, more or less allowing him to go wherever the hell he wanted. So when Saunter, Grace and I were trying to put together this Superbrain, he was peeking at gene experiments and opening the sealed containers for snacks. It was near quitting time when he found the harpoons.


See, the hallways of the complex are lined with Servers and Software managers to cope with the necessary computing power, and because a simple manual shutdown system was too risky an electronic harpoon cannon had been developed. It was simple enough--fire it into any of the bigger Servers and it would trigger a shutdown through a surge protector system, only leaving basic lighting, door control and Bot-charge systems active. We never had to use it because the whole place was just that efficient and the containing units typically sat unused except for bi monthly cleanup.

So on that particular Friday afternoon the kid decided to take out the unwieldy multibarreled anti automaton weapon and bring it into the single most important computing center in the whole damn complex.
Saunter was aware of him before he announced himself, he turned from his work looking calm, and immediately switched into his caution mode. A low buzzing would be heard in our headsets, and his headgear whirred. Grace and I turned, irritated at the tone to see the kid brandishing the harpoons with a stupid-self satisfied grin on his face. Saunter wasted no time moving toward him to take it, it was in his programming, when the kid speedily walked around him and presented his prize to us.
"Wuzzis do?" He said.
Saunter replied: "It is a HIGH YIELD anti electronics Government weapon construct. It is for extreme emergency purposes only."
"Yeaa...but whatzit doo?" the kid droned.
""It is a HIGH YIELD anti electronics Government weapon construct. It is for extreme emergency purposes only." Said Saunter, bless him.
"Howzit werk?"
"It is a HIGH YIELD anti electronics Government weapon-"The kid turned away from Saunter and started moaning at us.
"D'you need me t'use it guys?" He grinned.
Saunter dashed forward and tried to take it from him, and then everything went to hell.

The kid threw him off, looking bewildered. The security system detected the violent movement and a small platoon of security was already thumping down the hall.
"Return the construct." Saunter ordered over the klaxxon.
"Hey! No!" the kid gripped the weapon like a mother with her baby, I stepped forward to take it, only to be met with a blunt part of the weapon hitting me upside the head, I fell down-seeing the kid moving backwards as security pooled into the room.
Shouts were exchanged, the kid was frightened and threatened, and before I realized it he had fired the goddamn thing into a pool of people.
Saunter was attempting to communicate with them as three charged bolts thumped into his torso. The machinery on his head smoked as shots were fired at the kid. He fumbled it as his upper arm was hit and his shoulder blossomed with red. Grace was off to the side in shock or something when the screaming started.

At first I thought it was Grace or the kid, maybe one of the Guards, but as I turned my head I already knew it was Saunter.
He was in apparent agony. The Control centers for his body sputtered as the plastic on his face smoldered. The sound came from a speaker on the side of his head, an emergency tone. It sounded like an impaled infant. Apparently the shock had activated every single Danger part of his body; it was like being pressed with a cattle brand on all of your joints at once. Some idiot fired at him, attempting to shut him up. His face ignited and pools of plastic began visibly bubbling and blackening. He jolted, completely blind, around the room. The Harpoons delivered another shock; apparently to make sure he shut down. He didn't. The vocalizers in his throat picked up and his lower jaw hung down tearing half of his face off. He stepped forward, and saw the kid. The malice that his twitching, smoldering body held for that poor bastard was so strong you could see it. He stepped towards the kid, pulled the harpoon gun out of his hands. The kid was transfixed, Saunter turned the barrel on him, and unloaded Five of the goddamn spikes across his body. The way his steel arms were twitching, it seemed like he might have accidentally pulled the trigger, and as they jumped with each bolt-smattering the things across the kids arms, legs and torso, you could believe it.

Until he hit the charge.

The kid was dead instantly, but he burnt and his limbs flew and his skin charred. The security unloaded everything they had into Saunter, tearing apart the faceplate on his chest. He limply stood before a final bullet sent him crashing through the window into the fog below.

-End chapter or whatever. My back hurts
Total Comments 6

Comments

OddjobAbe's Avatar
I had an image of Santa in my head all way through.

It wasn't bad, by the way.
Posted 05-19-2009 at 01:04 PM by OddjobAbe

MA's Avatar
i thought that was really engaging, seeing as i can lose interest quite quickly.
Saunter repeating himself made me laugh.

you'd better carry this one on!
Posted 05-19-2009 at 01:16 PM by MA

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
SAUNTA STOP SHOOTING THE FAT KIDS
Posted 05-19-2009 at 01:45 PM by Mac Sirloin

I misread it as "Artifical Orgasm"
Posted 05-19-2009 at 03:09 PM by Nemo

Disgruntled Intern's Avatar
I like it. And I don't like anything.
Posted 05-19-2009 at 06:39 PM by Disgruntled Intern

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Because posting large paragraphs in blogs is retarded, the Story itself is, of course, posted right here .
Posted 05-19-2009 at 07:00 PM by Mac Sirloin

 

Recent Blog Entries by Mac Sirloin





 
 
- Oddworld Forums - -